The Aviators' Guide Book飞行员手册(虽然是笑话,但有部份却是事实 ^_^)

帅哥发表于 2010-3-6 13:35:04

The Aviators' Guide Book 飞行员手册 (虽然是笑话,但有部份却是事实 ^_^)
　
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Every takeoff is optional.  Every landing is mandatory. 每个起飞是自愿性的, 每个降落是强迫性的。 　 </LI></UL>
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Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal the number of take offs you've made. 经常保持降落数目与起飞数目相等。 　 
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When in doubt, hold on to your altitude.  No-one has ever collided with the sky. 当你觉得混乱时，请保持高度，因为没有人跟天空相撞过… 　 </LI></UL>
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The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival.  Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa. 生存的机会是跟着陆角度是成反比例的。大的着陆角度，小的生存机会… 　 
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There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are. 要做出好的降落有三个原则，但不幸地，没人知道是哪三个… 　 
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If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger.  If you pull the stick back, they get smaller... That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again. 当你把控制杆推前，房子变大了；当你把控制杆拉后，房子变小了；但当你拉着不放，房子又要变大了。 　 </LI></UL>
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You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck. 开始时你有两个袋，运气袋装得满满的，经验袋是空空的。关键就在于，在运气袋变空之前，请把经验袋装得满满的！ 　 </LI></UL>
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Good judgment comes from experience.  Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment. 好的判断来自经验。很不幸，经验通常是来自坏的判断…… 　 </LI></UL>
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The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you and a tenth of a second ago. 对于飞行员来说，最没用的三件事：在你上面的高度、在你背后的跑道，以及刚过去的十分一秒。(三件事也可以理解为：白白损失的高度，失误错过的跑道，以及刚过去的十分一秒。) 　 </LI></UL>
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There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old bold pilots. 这里有老飞行员，也有勇敢的飞行员；但是，这里并没有勇敢的老飞行员。 </LI></UL>
　
<IMG height=300 src="http://www.tomcat521.com/tomcatter/Jokes/2.jpg" width=600 border=0> 图一
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You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the elevator. 当你要开加力才能把飞机驶进停机坪，你就知道刚才降落时, 忘记了放下起落架…(图一) </LI></UL>
　
<IMG height=447 src="http://www.tomcat521.com/tomcatter/Jokes/crash.jpg" width=600 border=0 w="600" h="447" p="100"> 图二
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Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous. 飞行不是危险的，坠毁才是危险的！(图二) </LI></UL>
　
<IMG height=400 src="http://www.tomcat521.com/tomcatter/Jokes/fire!.jpg" width=600 border=0> 噢......
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The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.  你唯一会嫌汽油太多的时候，就是着了火的时候… </LI></UL>
　
<IMG height=200 src="http://www.tomcat521.com/tomcatter/Jokes/good%20landing.jpg" width=241 border=0>   <IMG height=200 src="http://www.tomcat521.com/tomcatter/Jokes/good%20landing%202.jpg" width=335 border=0> Good Landing - “好” 的降落
<IMG height=394 src="http://www.tomcat521.com/tomcatter/Jokes/great%20landing.jpg" width=600 border=0 w="600" h="394" p="100"> Great Landing - “极好” 的降落
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A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again. 一次“好” 的降落，就是说你可以安全步离机舱；一次“极好” 的降落，就是说这架飞机可以再用。 </LI></UL>
　
 <IMG height=373 src="http://www.tomcat521.com/tomcatter/Jokes/1.jpg" width=600 border=0 w="600" h="373" p="100">  机头的大风扇
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The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating. 螺旋浆其实只是一个令飞行员凉快的大风扇，当它停了，基本上你会看到飞行员开始冒汗了… </LI></UL>
　
 <IMG height=400 src="http://www.tomcat521.com/tomcatter/Jokes/heli.jpg" width=600 border=0> 被地球排斥的直升机
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Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them. 直升机不能飞的，只是它们太丑了，连地球也排斥它们。 </LI></UL>
　
呵呵，好笑吗？甚么？不够？还有！！！^_^

SQUAWKS ~ 发牢骚！
　　每次飞行后，飞行员都会留笔记给维修人员，报告机上要修理的地方。以下是飞行员的笔记和维修人员修理后的回答。
<IMG height=450 src="http://www.tomcat521.com/tomcatter/Jokes/CV%20Deck%20Crew%20Wallpaper.jpg" width=600 border=0 w="600" h="450" p="100">
 　　 (P) = Problem    (S) = Solution 　　 (问)= 飞行员投诉 (答) 维修人员的回复 　
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(P)   Left inside tire almost needs replacement. (S)   Almost replaced left inside tire. (问)  左内机轮快要更换了。 (答)  快更换了左内机轮。 　 
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(P)   Test flight OK, except auto land very rough. (S)   Auto land not installed on this aircraft. (问)  试飞成功，但自动降落不太顺畅。 (答)  这架飞机并没有安装自动降落系统。 　 
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(P)   # 2 engine seeping fluid. (S)   # 2 engine seepage is normal -  # 1 engine lack normal seepage. (问)  二号发动机漏出液体。 (答)  二号发动机漏出液体是正常的，一号发动机缺乏正常渗漏。 　 
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(P)   Something loose in cockpit. (S)   Something tightened in cockpit. (问)  座舱内有些东西松了。 (答)  座舱内有些东西上紧了。 　 
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(P)   Evidence of leak on right landing gear. (S)   Evidence removed. (问)  右起落架机轮有漏气迹象。 (答)  迹象已被清除。 　 
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(P)   DME volume unbelievably loud. (S)   Volume set to more believable level. (问)  DME音效声大得不可想象！ (答)  音效被调效至可以想象的程度。 　 
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 (P)  Dead bugs on windshield. (S)   Live bugs on order. (问)  风挡上有死昆虫。 (答)  已经再去订了一些活昆虫。（就是说”给你换上活的了！”） 　 
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(P)   Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent. (S)   Cannot reproduce problems on ground. (问)  自动飞行在固定高度模式令飞机每分钟自动下降200尺。 (答)  在地上不能重演此错误。 　 
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(P)   IFF inoperative. (S)   IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. (问)  IFF没有作用。 (答)  IFF在关闭时是没有作用的。 　 
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(P)   Friction locks cause throttle lever to stick. (S)   That's what they're there for. (问)  推力杆锁锁定了推力位置，不能动。 (答)  推力杆的锁本来就是为此而设的。 　 
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(P)   Number two engine missing. (S)   Engine found on right wing after brief search. (问)  二号发动机不见了。 (答)  经过在右翼附近简单的搜寻，找到发动机。 　 
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(P)   Aircraft handles funny. (S)   Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right," and be serious. (问)  飞机操控很有趣（怪怪的）。 (答)  已经向飞机警告：「认真点！」现在已经正经了。 　 
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(P)   Target Radar hums. (S)   Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words (问)  雷达发出嗡嗡声。 (答)  已经重新设定雷达，改为人声。 </LI></UL>

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The Aviators' Guide Book飞行员手册(虽然是笑话,但有部份却是事实 ^_^)