How To Win Friends And Influence People

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How To Win Friends And Influence Peoplefficeffice" />

By

Dale Carnegie

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Copyright - 1936 / 1964 / 1981 (Revised Edition)

Library of Congress Catalog Number - 17-19-20-18

ISBN - O-671-42517-X

Scan Version : v 1.0

Format : Text with cover pictures.

Date Scanned: Unknown

Posted to (Newsgroup): alt.binaries.e-book

Scan/Edit Note: I have made minor changes to this work, including a

contents page, covers etc. I did not scan this work (I only have the

1964 version) but decided to edit it since I am working on Dale's

other book "How To Stop Worrying and Start Living" and thought it

best to make minor improvements. Parts 5 and 6 were scanned and

added to this version by me, they were not included (for some

reason) in the version which appeared on alt.binaries.e-book.

-Salmun

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Contents:

Eight Things This Book Will Help You Achieve

Preface to Revised Edition

How This Book Was Written-And Why

Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of This Book

A Shortcut to Distinction

Part 1 - Fundamental Techniques In Handling People

• 1 - "If You Want to Gather Honey, Don't Kick Over the Beehive"

• 2 - The Big Secret of Dealing with People

• 3 - "He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him. He Who

Cannot, Walks a Lonely Way"

• Eight Suggestions On How To Get The Most Out Of This Book

Part 2 - Six Ways To Make People Like You

• 1 - Do This and You'll Be Welcome Anywhere

• 2 - A Simple Way to Make a Good Impression

• 3 - If You Don't Do This, You Are Headed for Trouble

• 4 - An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist

• 5 - How to Interest People

• 6 - How To Make People Like You Instantly

• In A Nutshell

Part 3 - Twelve Ways To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking

• 1 - You Can't Win an Argument

• 2 - A Sure Way of Making Enemies—and How to Avoid It

• 3 - If You're Wrong, Admit It

• 4 - The High Road to a Man's Reason

• 5 - The Secret of Socrates

• 6 - The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints

• 7 - How to Get Co-operation

• 8 - A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You

• 9 - What Everybody Wants

• 10 - An Appeal That Everybody Likes

• 11 - The Movies Do It. Radio Does It. Why Don't You Do It?

• 12 - When Nothing Else Works, Try This

• In A Nutshell

Part 4 - Nine Ways To Change People Without Giving Offence Or

Arousing Resentment

• 1 - If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin

• 2 - How to Criticize—and Not Be Hated for It

• 3 - Talk About Your Own Mistakes First

• 4 - No One Likes to Take Orders

• 5 - Let the Other Man Save His Face

• 6 - How to Spur Men on to Success

• 7 - Give the Dog a Good Name

• 8 - Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct

• 9 - Making People Glad to Do What You Want

• In A Nutshell

Part 5 - Letters That Produced Miraculous Results

Part 6 - Seven Rules For Making Your Home Life Happier

• 1 - How to Dig Your Marital Grave in the Quickest Possible Way

• 2 - Love and Let Live

• 3 - Do This and You'll Be Looking Up the Time-Tables to Reno

• 4 - A Quick Way to Make Everybody Happy

• 5 - They Mean So Much to a Woman

• 6 - If you Want to be Happy, Don't Neglect This One

• 7 - Don't Be a "Marriage Illiterate"

• In A Nutshell

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Eight Things This Book Will Help You Achieve

• 1. Get out of a mental rut, think new thoughts, acquire new

visions, discover new ambitions.

• 2. Make friends quickly and easily.

• 3. Increase your popularity.

• 4. Win people to your way of thinking.

• 5. Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things

done.

• 6. Handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts

smooth and pleasant.

• 7. Become a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist.

• 8. Arouse enthusiasm among your associates.

This book has done all these things for more than ten million readers

in thirty-six languages.

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Preface to Revised Edition

How to Win Friends and Influence People was first published in 1937

in an edition of only five thousand copies. Neither Dale Carnegie nor

the publishers, Simon and Schuster, anticipated more than this

modest sale. To their amazement, the book became an overnight

sensation, and edition after edition rolled off the presses to keep up

with the increasing public demand. Now to Win Friends and

InfEuence People took its place in publishing history as one of the

all-time international best-sellers. It touched a nerve and filled a

human need that was more than a faddish phenomenon of post-

Depression days, as evidenced by its continued and uninterrupted

sales into the eighties, almost half a century later.

Dale Carnegie used to say that it was easier to make a million dollars

than to put a phrase into the English language. How to Win Friends

and Influence People became such a phrase, quoted, paraphrased,

parodied, used in innumerable contexts from political cartoon to

novels. The book itself was translated into almost every known

written language. Each generation has discovered it anew and has

found it relevant.

 

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Which brings us to the logical question: Why revise a book that hasfficeffice" />

proven and continues to prove its vigorous and universal appeal?

Why tamper with success?

To answer that, we must realize that Dale Carnegie himself was a

tireless reviser of his own work during his lifetime. How to Win

Friends and Influence People was written to be used as a textbook

for his courses in Effective Speaking and Human Relations and is still

used in those courses today. Until his death in 1955 he constantly

improved and revised the course itself to make it applicable to the

evolving needs of an every-growing public. No one was more

sensitive to the changing currents of present-day life than Dale

Carnegie. He constantly improved and refined his methods of

teaching; he updated his book on Effective Speaking several times.

Had he lived longer, he himself would have revised How to Win

Friends and Influence People to better reflect the changes that have

taken place in the world since the thirties.

Many of the names of prominent people in the book, well known at

the time of first publication, are no longer recognized by many of

today's readers. Certain examples and phrases seem as quaint and

dated in our social climate as those in a Victorian novel. The

important message and overall impact of the book is weakened to

that extent.

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Our purpose, therefore, in this revision is to clarify and strengthenfficeffice" />

the book for a modern reader without tampering with the content.

We have not "changed" How to Win Friends and Influence People

except to make a few excisions and add a few more contemporary

examples. The brash, breezy Carnegie style is intact-even the thirties

slang is still there. Dale Carnegie wrote as he spoke, in an intensively

exuberant, colloquial, conversational manner.

So his voice still speaks as forcefully as ever, in the book and in his

work. Thousands of people all over the world are being trained in

Carnegie courses in increasing numbers each year. And other

thousands are reading and studying How to Win Friends and

lnfluence People and being inspired to use its principles to better

their lives. To all of them, we offer this revision in the spirit of the

honing and polishing of a finely made tool.

Dorothy Carnegie (Mrs. Dale Carnegie)

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How This Book Was Written-And Why

by

Dale Carnegie

During the first thirty-five years of the twentieth century, the

publishing houses of America printed more than a fifth of a million

different books. Most of them were deadly dull, and many were

financial failures. "Many," did I say? The president of one of the

largest publishing houses in the world confessed to me that his

company, after seventy-five years of publishing experience, still lost

money on seven out of every eight books it published.

Why, then, did I have the temerity to write another book? And, after

I had written it, why should you bother to read it?

Fair questions, both; and I'll try to answer them.

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I have, since 1912, been conducting educational courses for businessfficeffice" />

and professional men and women in New York. At first, I conducted

courses in public speaking only - courses designed to train adults, by

actual experience, to think on their feet and express their ideas with

more clarity, more effectiveness and more poise, both in business

interviews and before groups.

But gradually, as the seasons passed, I realized that as sorely as

these adults needed training in effective speaking, they needed still

more training in the fine art of getting along with people in everyday

business and social contacts.

I also gradually realized that I was sorely in need of such training

myself. As I look back across the years, I am appalled at my own

frequent lack of finesse and understanding. How I wish a book such

as this had been placed in my hands twenty years ago! What a

priceless boon it would have been.

Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem you face,

especially if you are in business. Yes, and that is also true if you are

a housewife, architect or engineer. Research done a few years ago

under the auspices of the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement

of Teaching uncovered a most important and significant fact - a fact

later confirmed by additional studies made at the Carnegie Institute

of Technology. These investigations revealed that even in such

technical lines as engineering, about 15 percent of one's financial

success is due to one's technical knowledge and about 85 percent is

due to skill in human engineering-to personality and the ability to

lead people.

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For many years, I conducted courses each season at the Engineers'fficeffice" />

Club of Philadelphia, and also courses for the New York Chapter of

the American Institute of Electrical Engineers. A total of probably

more than fifteen hundred engineers have passed through my

classes. They came to me because they had finally realized, after

years of observation and experience, that the highest-paid personnel

in engineering are frequently not those who know the most about

engineering. One can for example, hire mere technical ability in

engineering, accountancy, architecture or any other profession at

nominal salaries. But the person who has technical knowledge plus

the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse

enthusiasm among people-that person is headed for higher earning

power.

In the heyday of his activity, John D. Rockefeller said that "the ability

to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or

coffee." "And I will pay more for that ability," said John D., "than for

any other under the sun."

Wouldn't you suppose that every college in the land would conduct

courses to develop the highest-priced ability under the sun? But if

there is just one practical, common-sense course of that kind given

for adults in even one college in the land, it has escaped my

attention up to the present writing.

The University of Chicago and the United Y.M.C.A. Schools conducted

a survey to determine what adults want to study.

That survey cost $25,000 and took two years. The last part of the

survey was made in Meriden, Connecticut. It had been chosen as a

typical American town. Every adult in Meriden was interviewed and

requested to answer 156 questions-questions such as "What is your

business or profession? Your education? How do you spend your

spare time? What is your income? Your hobbies? Your ambitions?

Your problems? What subjects are you most interested in studying?"

And so on. That survey revealed that health is the prime interest of

adults and that their second interest is people; how to understand

and get along with people; how to make people like you; and how to

win others to your way of thinking.

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So the committee conducting this survey resolved to conduct such afficeffice" />

course for adults in Meriden. They searched diligently for a practical

textbook on the subject and found-not one. Finally they approached

one of the world's outstanding authorities on adult education and

asked him if he knew of any book that met the needs of this group.

"No," he replied, "I know what those adults want. But the book they

need has never been written."

I knew from experience that this statement was true, for I myself

had been searching for years to discover a practical, working

handbook on human relations.

Since no such book existed, I have tried to write one for use in my

own courses. And here it is. I hope you like it.

In preparation for this book, I read everything that I could find on

the subject- everything from newspaper columns, magazine articles,

records of the family courts, the writings of the old philosophers and

the new psychologists. In addition, I hired a trained researcher to

spend one and a half years in various libraries reading everything I

had missed, plowing through erudite tomes on psychology, poring

over hundreds of magazine articles, searching through countless

biographies, trying to ascertain how the great leaders of all ages had

dealt with people. We read their biographies, We read the life stories

of all great leaders from Julius Caesar to Thomas Edison. I recall that

we read over one hundred biographies of Theodore Roosevelt alone.

We were determined to spare no time, no expense, to discover every

practical idea that anyone had ever used throughout the ages for

winning friends and influencing people.

I personally interviewed scores of successful people, some of them

world-famous-inventors like Marconi and Edison; political leaders like

Franklin D. Roosevelt and James Farley; business leaders like Owen

D. Young; movie stars like Clark Gable and Mary Pickford; and

explorers like Martin Johnson-and tried to discover the techniques

they used in human relations.

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From all this material, I prepared a short talk. I called it "How to Winfficeffice" />

Friends and Influence People." I say "short." It was short in the

beginning, but it soon expanded to a lecture that consumed one

hour and thirty minutes. For years, I gave this talk each season to

the adults in the Carnegie Institute courses in New York.

I gave the talk and urged the listeners to go out and test it in their

business and social contacts, and then come back to class and speak

about their experiences and the results they had achieved. What an

interesting assignment! These men and women, hungry for selfimprovement, were fascinated by the idea of working in a new kind

of laboratory - the first and only laboratory of human relationships

for adults that had ever existed.

This book wasn't written in the usual sense of the word. It grew as a

child grows. It grew and developed out of that laboratory, out of the

experiences of thousands of adults.

Years ago, we started with a set of rules printed on a card no larger

than a postcard. The next season we printed a larger card, then a

leaflet, then a series of booklets, each one expanding in size and

scope. After fifteen years of experiment and research came this

book.

The rules we have set down here are not mere theories or

guesswork. They work like magic. Incredible as it sounds, I have

seen the application of these principles literally revolutionize the lives

of many people.

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To illustrate: A man with 314 employees joined one of these courses.fficeffice" />

For years, he had driven and criticized and condemned his

employees without stint or discretion. Kindness, words of

appreciation and encouragement were alien to his lips. After studying

the principles discussed in this book, this employer sharply altered

his philosophy of life. His organization is now inspired with a new

loyalty, a new enthusiasm, a new spirit of team-work. Three hundred

and fourteen enemies have been turned into 314 friends. As he

proudly said in a speech before the class: "When I used to walk

through my establishment, no one greeted me. My employees

actually looked the other way when they saw me approaching. But

now they are all my friends and even the janitor calls me by my first

name."

This employer gained more profit, more leisure and -what is infinitely

more important-he found far more happiness in his business and in

his home.

Countless numbers of salespeople have sharply increased their sales

by the use of these principles. Many have opened up new accounts -

accounts that they had formerly solicited in vain. Executives have

been given increased authority, increased pay. One executive

reported a large increase in salary because he applied these truths.

Another, an executive in the Philadelphia Gas Works Company, was

slated for demotion when he was sixty-five because of his

belligerence, because of his inability to lead people skillfully. This

training not only saved him from the demotion but brought him a

promotion with increased pay.

On innumerable occasions, spouses attending the banquet given at

the end of the course have told me that their homes have been

much happier since their husbands or wives started this training.

People are frequently astonished at the new results they achieve. It

all seems like magic. In some cases, in their enthusiasm, they have

telephoned me at my home on Sundays because they couldn't wait

forty-eight hours to report their achievements at the regular session

of the course.

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One man was so stirred by a talk on these principles that he sat farfficeffice" />

into the night discussing them with other members of the class. At

three o'clock in the morning, the others went home. But he was so

shaken by a realization of his own mistakes, so inspired by the vista

of a new and richer world opening before him, that he was unable to

sleep. He didn't sleep that night or the next day or the next night.

Who was he? A naive, untrained individual ready to gush over any

new theory that came along? No, Far from it. He was a sophisticated,

blasйdealer in art, very much the man about town, who spoke three

languages fluently and was a graduate of two European universities.

While writing this chapter, I received a letter from a German of the

old school, an aristocrat whose forebears had served for generations

as professional army officers under the Hohenzollerns. His letter,

written from a transatlantic steamer, telling about the application of

these principles, rose almost to a religious fervor.