How To Win Friends And Influence People

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" 'After I got to know the President,' House said, 'I learned the best

way to convert him to an idea was to plant it in his mind casually,

but so as to interest him in it - so as to get him thinking about it on

his own account. The first time this worked it was an accident. I had

been visiting him at the White House and urged a policy on him

which he appeared to disapprove. But several days later, at the

dinner table, I was amazed to hear him trot out my suggestion as his

own.' "

Did House interrupt him and say, "That's not your idea. That's mine"

? Oh, no. Not House. He was too adroit for that. He didn't care about

credit. He wanted results. So he let Wilson continue to feel that the

idea was his. House did even more than that. He gave Wilson public

credit for these ideas.

Let's remember that everyone we come in contact with is just as

human as Woodrow Wilson. So let's use Colonel House's technique.

A man up in the beautiful Canadian province of New Brunswick used

this technique on me and won my patronage. I was planning at the

time to do some fishing and canoeing in New Brunswick. So I wrote

the tourist bureau for information. Evidently my name and address

were put on a mailing list, for I was immediately overwhelmed with

scores of letters and booklets and printed testimonials from camps

and guides. I was bewildered. I didn't know which to choose. Then

one camp owner did a clever thing. He sent me the names and

telephone numbers of several New York people who had stayed at

his camp and he invited me to telephone them and discover for

myself what he had to offer.

I found to my surprise that I knew one of the men on his list. I

telephoned him, found out what his experience had been, and then

wired the camp the date of my arrival.

The others had been trying to sell me on their service, but one let

me sell myself. That organization won. Twenty-five centuries ago,

Lao-tse, a Chinese sage, said some things that readers of this book

might use today:

" The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred

mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able

to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be

above men, putteth himself below them; wishing to be before them,

he putteth himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above

men, they do not feel his weight; though his place be before them,

they do not count it an injury."

• Principle 7 - Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

~~~~~~~

8 - A Formula That Will Work Wonders For You

Remember that other people may be totally wrong. But they don't

think so. Don't condemn them. Any fool can do that. Try to

understand them. Only wise, tolerant, exceptional people even try to

do that.

There is a reason why the other man thinks and acts as he does.

Ferret out that reason - and you have the key to his actions, perhaps

to his personality. Try honestly to put yourself in his place.

If you say to yourself, "How would I feel, how would I react if I were

in his shoes?" you will save yourself time and irritation, for "by

becoming interested in the cause, we are less likely to dislike the

effect." And, in addition, you will sharply increase your skill in human

relationships.

"Stop a minute," says Kenneth M. Goode in his book How to Turn

People Into Gold, "stop a minute to contrast your keen interest in

your own affairs with your mild concern about anything else. Realize

then, that everybody else in the world feels exactly the same way!

Then, along with Lincoln and Roosevelt, you will have grasped the

only solid foundation for interpersonal relationships; namely, that

success in dealing with people depends on a sympathetic grasp of

the other persons' viewpoint."

Sam Douglas of Hempstead, New York, used to tell his wife that she

spent too much time working on their lawn, pulling weeds, fertilizing,

cutting the grass twice a week when the lawn didn't look any better

than it had when they moved into their home four years earlier.

Naturally, she was distressed by his remarks, and each time he made

such remarks the balance of the evening was ruined.

After taking our course, Mr. Douglas realized how foolish he had

been all those years. It never occurred to him that she enjoyed doing

that work and she might really appreciate a compliment on her

diligence.

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One evening after dinner, his wife said she wanted to pull some

weeds and invited him to keep her company. He first declined, but

then thought better of it and went out after her and began to help

her pull weeds. She was visibly pleased, and together they spent an

hour in hard work and pleasant conversation.

After that he often helped her with the gardening and complimented

her on how fine the lawn looked, what a fantastic job she was doing

with a yard where the soil was like concrete. Result: a happier life for

both because he had learned to look at things from her point of view

- even if the subject was only weeds.

In his book Getting Through to People, Dr. Gerald S. Nirenberg

commented: "Cooperativeeness in conversation is achieved when

you show that you consider the other person's ideas and feelings as

important as your own. Starting your conversation by giving the

other person the purpose or direction of your conversation,

governing what you say by what you would want to hear if you were

the listener, and accepting his or her viewpoint will encourage the

listener to have an open mind to your ideas." (*)

----

Dr Gerald S. Nirenberg, Getting Through to People (Englewood

Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice-Hall, 1963), p. 31.

----

I have always enjoyed walking and riding in a park near my home.

Like the Druids of ancient Gaul, I all but worship an oak tree, so I

was distressed season after season to see the young trees and

shrubs killed off by needless fires. These fires weren't caused by

careless smokers. They were almost all caused by youngsters who

went out to the park to go native and cook a frankfurter or an egg

under the trees. Sometimes, these fires raged so fiercely that the fire

department had to be called out to fight the conflagration.

There was a sign on the edge of the park saying that anyone who

started a fire was liable to fine and imprisonment, but the sign stood

in an unfrequented part of the park, and few of the culprits ever saw

it. A mounted policeman was supposed to look after the park; but he

didn't take his duties too seriously, and the fires continued to spread

season after season. On one occasion, I rushed up to a policeman

and told him about a fire spreading rapidly through the park and

wanted him to notify the fire department, and he nonchalantly

replied that it was none of his business because it wasn't in his

precinct! I was desperate, so after that when I went riding, I acted

as a self-appointed committee of one to protect the public domain.

In the beginning, I am afraid I didn't even attempt to see the other

people's point of view. When I saw a fire blazing under the trees, I

was so unhappy about it, so eager to do the right thing, that I did

the wrong thing. I would ride up to the boys, warn them that they

could be jailed for starting a fire, order with a tone of authority that

it be put out; and, if they refused, I would threaten to have them

arrested. I was merely unloading my feelings without thinking of

their point of view.

The result? They obeyed - obeyed sullenly and with resentment.

After I rode on over the hill, they probably rebuilt the fire and longed

to burn up the whole park.

With the passing of the years, I acquired a trifle more knowledge of

human relations, a little more tact, a somewhat greater tendency to

see things from the other person's standpoint. Then, instead of

giving orders, I would ride up to a blazing fire and begin something

like this:

"Having a good time, boys? What are you going to cook for supper?

... I loved to build fires myself when I was a boy - and I still love to.

But you know they are very dangerous here in the park. I know you

boys don't mean to do any harm, but other boys aren't so careful.

They come along and see that you have built a fire; so they build

one and don't put it out when they go home and it spreads among

the dry leaves and kills the trees. We won't have any trees here at all

if we aren't more careful, You could be put in jail for building this

fire. But I don't want to be bossy and interfere with your pleasure. I

like to see you enjoy yourselves; but won't you please rake all the

leaves away from the fire right now - and you'll be careful to cover it

with dirt, a lot of dirt, before you leave, won't you? And the next

time you want to have some fun, won't you please build your fire

over the hill there in the sandpit? It can't do any harm there.. . .

Thanks so much, boys. Have a good time."

What a difference that kind of talk made! It made the boys want to

cooperate. No sullenness, no resentment. They hadn't been forced to

obey orders. They had saved their faces. They felt better and I felt

better because I had handled the situation with consideration for

their point of view.

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Seeing things through another person's eyes may ease tensions

when personal problems become overwhelming. Elizabeth Novak of

New South Wales, Australia, was six weeks late with her car

payment. "On a Friday," she reported, "I received a nasty phone call

from the man who was handling my account informing me if I did

not come up with $122 by Monday morning I could anticipate further

action from the company. I had no way of raising the money over

the weekend, so when I received his phone call first thing on Monday

morning I expected the worst. Instead of becoming upset I looked at

the situation from his point of view. I apologized most sincerely for

causing him so much inconvenience and remarked that I must be his

most troublesome customer as this was not the first time I was

behind in my payments. His tone of voice changed immediately, and

he reassured me that I was far from being one of his really

troublesome customers. He went on to tell me several examples of

how rude his customers sometimes were, how they lied to him and

often tried to avoid talking to him at all. I said nothing. I listened and

let him pour out his troubles to me. Then, without any suggestion

from me, he said it did not matter if I couldn't pay all the money

immediately. It would be all right if I paid him $20 by the end of the

month and made up the balance whenever it was convenient for me

to do so."

Tomorrow, before asking anyone to put out a fire or buy your

product or contribute to your favorite charity, why not pause and

close your eyes and try to think the whole thing through from

another person's point of view? Ask yourself: "Why should he or she

want to do it?" True, this will take time, but it will avoid making

enemies and will get better results - and with less friction and less

shoe leather.

"I would rather walk the sidewalk in front of a person's office for two

hours before an interview," said Dean Donham of the Harvard

business school, "than step into that office without a perfectly clear

idea of what I was going to say and what that person - from my

knowledge of his or her interests and motives - was likely to

answer."

That is so important that I am going to repeat it in italics for the sake

of emphasis.

I would rather walk the sidewalk in front of a person's office for two

hours before an interview than step into that office without a

perfectly clear idea of what I was going to say and what that persob

- from my knowledge of his or her interests and motives - was likely

to answer.

If, as a result of reading this book, you get only one thing - an

increased tendency to think always in terms of the other person's

point of view, and see things from that person's angle as well as

your own - if you get only that one thing from this book, it may

easily prove to be one of the stepping - stones of your career.

• Principle 8 - Try honestly to see things from the other person's

point of view.

~~~~~~~

9 - What Everybody Wants

Wouldn't you like to have a magic phrase that would stop

arguments, eliminate ill feeling, create good will, and make the other

person listen attentively?

Yes? All right. Here it is: "I don't blame you one iota for feeling as

you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do."

An answer like that will soften the most cantankerous old cuss alive.

And you can say that and be 100 percent sincere, because if you

were the other person you, of course, would feel just as he does.

Take Al Capone, for example. Suppose you had inherited the same

body and temperament and mind that Al Capone had. Suppose you

had had his environment and experiences. You would then be

precisely what he was - and where he was. For it is those things -

and only those things - that made him what he was. The only

reason, for example, that you are not a rattlesnake is that your

mother and father weren't rattlesnakes.

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You deserve very little credit for being what you are - and

remember, the people who come to you irritated, bigoted,

unreasoning, deserve very little discredit for being what they are.

Feel sorry for the poor devils. Pity them. Sympathize with them. Say

to yourself: "There, but for the grace of God, go I."

Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and

thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.

I once gave a broadcast about the author of Little Women, Louisa

May Alcott. Naturally, I knew she had lived and written her immortal

books in Concord, Massachusetts. But, without thinking what I was

saying, I spoke of visiting her old home in Concord. New Hampshire.

If I had said New Hampshire only once, it might have been forgiven.

But, alas and alack! I said it twice, I was deluged with letters and

telegrams, stinging messages that swirled around my defenseless

head like a swarm of hornets. Many were indignant. A few insulting.

One Colonial Dame, who had been reared in Concord,

Massachusetts, and who was then living in Philadelphia, vented her

scorching wrath upon me. She couldn't have been much more bitter

if I had accused Miss Alcott of being a cannibal from New Guinea. As

I read the letter, I said to myself, "Thank God, I am not married to

that woman." I felt like writing and telling her that although I had

made a mistake in geography, she had made a far greater mistake in

common courtesy. That was to be just my opening sentence. Then I

was going to roll up my sleeves and tell her what I really thought.

But I didn't. I controlled myself. I realized that any hotheaded fool

could do that - and that most fools would do just that.

I wanted to be above fools. So I resolved to try to turn her hostility

into friendliness. It would be a challenge, a sort of game I could

play. I said to myself, "After all, if I were she, I would probably feel

just as she does." So, I determined to sympathize with her

viewpoint. The next time I was in Philadelphia, I called her on the

telephone. The conversation went something like this:

ME: Mrs. So-and-So, you wrote me a letter a few weeks ago, and I

want to thank you for it.

SHE: (in incisive, cultured, well-bred tones): To whom have I the

honor of speaking?

ME: I am a stranger to you. My name is Dale Carnegie. You listened

to a broadcast I gave about Louisa May Alcott a few Sundays ago,

and I made the unforgivable blunder of saying that she had lived in

Concord, New Hampshire. It was a stupid blunder, and I want to

apologize for it. It was so nice of you to take the time to write me.

SHE : I am sorry, Mr. Carnegie, that I wrote as I did. I lost my

temper. I must apologize.

ME: No! No! You are not the one to apologize; I am. Any school child

would have known better than to have said what I said. I apologized

over the air the following Sunday, and I want to apologize to you

personally now.

SHE : I was born in Concord, Massachusetts. My family has been

prominent in Massachusetts affairs for two centuries, and I am very

proud of my native state. I was really quite distressed to hear you

say that Miss Alcott had lived in New Hampshire. But I am really

ashamed of that letter.

ME: I assure you that you were not one-tenth as distressed as I am.

My error didn't hurt Massachusetts, but it did hurt me. It is so

seldom that people of your standing and culture take the time to

write people who speak on the radio, and I do hope you will write

me again if you detect an error in my talks.

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SHE: You know, I really like very much the way you have accepted

my criticism. You must be a very nice person. I should like to know

you better.

So, because I had apologized and sympathized with her point of

view, she began apologizing and sympathizing with my point of view,

I had the satisfaction of controlling my temper, the satisfaction of

returning kindness for an insult. I got infinitely more real fun out of

making her like me than I could ever have gotten out of telling her to

go and take a jump in the Schuylkill River,

Every man who occupies the White House is faced almost daily with

thorny problems in human relations. President Taft was no

exception, and he learned from experience the enormous chemical

value of sympathy in neutralizing the acid of hard feelings. In his

book Ethics in Service, Taft gives rather an amusing illustration of

how he softened the ire of a disappointed and ambitious mother.

"A lady in Washington," wrote Taft, "whose husband had some

political influence, came and labored with me for six weeks or more

to appoint her son to a position. She secured the aid of Senators and

Congressmen in formidable number and came with them to see that

they spoke with emphasis. The place was one requiring technical

qualification, and following the recommendation of the head of the

Bureau, I appointed somebody else. I then received a letter from the

mother, saying that I was most ungrateful, since I declined to make

her a happy woman as I could have done by a turn of my hand. She

complained further that she had labored with her state delegation

and got all the votes for an administration bill in which I was

especially interested and this was the way I had rewarded her.

"When you get a letter like that, the first thing you do is to think how

you can be severe with a person who has committed an impropriety,

or even been a little impertinent. Then you may compose an answer.

Then if you are wise, you will put the letter in a drawer and lock the

drawer. Take it out in the course of two days - such communications

will always bear two days' delay in answering - and when you take it

out after that interval, you will not send it. That is just the course I

took. After that, I sat down and wrote her just as polite a letter as I

could, telling her I realized a mother's disappointment under such

circumstances, but that really the appointment was not left to my

mere personal preference, that I had to select a man with technical

qualifications, and had, therefore, to follow the recommendations of

the head of the Bureau. I expressed the hope that her son would go

on to accomplish what she had hoped for him in the position which

he then had. That mollified her and she wrote me a note saying she

was sorry she had written as she had.

"But the appointment I sent in was not confirmed at once, and after

an interval I received a letter which purported to come from her

husband, though it was in the the same handwriting as all the

others. I was therein advised that, due to the nervous prostration

that had followed her disappointment in this case, she had to take to

her bed and had developed a most serious case of cancer of the

stomach. Would I not restore her to health by withdrawing the first

name and replacing it by her son's? I had to write another letter, this

one to the husband, to say that I hoped the diagnosis would prove

to be inaccurate, that I sympathized with him in the sorrow he must

have in the serious illness of his wife, but that it was impossible to

withdraw the name sent in. The man whom I appointed was

confirmed, and within two days after I received that letter, we gave

a musicale at the White House. The first two people to greet Mrs.

Taft and me were this husband and wife, though the wife had so

recently been in articulo mortis."

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Jay Mangum represented an elevator-escalator main-tenance

company in Tulsa, Oklahoma, which had the maintenance contract

for the escalators in one of Tulsa's leading hotels. The hotel manager

did not want to shut down the escalator for more than two hours at

a time because he did not want to inconvenience the hotel's guests.

The repair that had to be made would take at least eight hours, and

his company did not always have a specially qualified mechanic

available at the convenience of the hotel.

When Mr. Mangum was able to schedule a top-flight mechanic for

this job, he telephoned the hotel manager and instead of arguing

with him to give him the necessary time, he said:

"Rick, I know your hotel is quite busy and you would like to keep the

escalator shutdown time to a minimum. I understand your concern

about this, and we want to do everything possible to accommodate

you. However, our diagnosis of the situation shows that if we do not

do a complete job now, your escalator may suffer more serious

damage and that would cause a much longer shutdown. I know you

would not want to inconvenience your guests for several days."

The manager had to agree that an eight-hour shut down was more

desirable than several days'. By sympathizing with the manager's

desire to keep his patrons happy, Mr. Mangum was able to win the

hotel manager to his way of thinking easily and without rancor.

Joyce Norris, a piano teacher in St, Louis, Missouri, told of how she

had handled a problem piano teachers often have with teenage girls.

Babette had exceptionally long fingernails. This is a serious handicap

to anyone who wants to develop proper piano-playing habits.

Mrs. Norris reported: "I knew her long fingernails would be a barrier

for her in her desire to play well. During our discussions prior to her

starting her lessons with me, I did not mention anything to her about

her nails. I didn't want to discourage her from taking lessons, and I

also knew she would not want to lose that which she took so much

pride in and such great care to make attractive.

"After her first lesson, when I felt the time was right, I said:

'Babette, you have attractive hands and beautiful fingernails. If you

want to play the piano as well as you are capable of and as well as

you would like to, you would be surprised how much quicker and

easier it would be for you, if you would trim your nails shorter. Just

think about it, Okay?' She made a face which was definitely negative.

I also talked to her mother about this situation, again mentioning

how lovely her nails were. Another negative reaction. It was obvious

that Babette's beautifully manicured nails were important to her.

"The following week Babette returned for her second lesson. Much to

my surprise, the fingernails had been trimmed. I complimented her

and praised her for making such a sacrifice. I also thanked her

mother for influencing Babette to cut her nails. Her reply was 'Oh, I

had nothing to do with it. Babette decided to do it on her own, and

this is the first time she has ever trimmed her nails for anyone.' "

Did Mrs. Norris threaten Babette? Did she say she would refuse to

teach a student with long fingernails? No, she did not. She let

Babette know that her finger-nails were a thing of beauty and it

would be a sacrifice to cut them. She implied, "I sympathize with you

- I know it won't be easy, but it will pay off in your better musical

development."

Sol Hurok was probably America's number one impresario. For

almost half a century he handled artists - such world-famous artists

as Chaliapin, Isadora Duncan, and Pavlova. Mr. Hurok told me that

one of the first lessons he had learned in dealing with his

temperamental stars was the' necessity for sympathy, sympathy and

more sympathy with their idiosyncrasies.

For three years, he was impresario for Feodor Chaliapin -one of the

greatest bassos who ever thrilled the ritzy boxholders at the

Metropolitan, Yet Chaliapin was a constant problem. He carried on

like a spoiled child. To put it in Mr. Hurok's own inimitable phrase:

"He was a hell of a fellow in every way."

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For example, Chaliapin would call up Mr. Hurok about noun of the

day he was going to sing and say, "Sol, I feel terrible. My throat is

like raw hamburger. It is impossible for me to sing tonight." Did Mr.

Hurok argue with him? Oh, no. He knew that an entrepreneur

couldn't handle artists that way. So he would rush over to Chaliapin's

hotel, dripping with sympathy. "What a pity, " he would mourn.

"What a pity! My poor fellow. Of course, you cannot sing. I will

cancel the engagement at once. It will only cost you a couple of

thousand dollars, but that is nothing in comparison to your

reputation."

Then Chaliapin would sigh and say, "Perhaps you had better come

over later in the day. Come at five and see how I feel then."

At five o'clock, Mr. Hurok would again rush to his hotel, dripping with

sympathy. Again he would insist on canceling the engagement and

again Chaliapin would sigh and say, "Well, maybe you had better

come to see me later. I may be better then."

At seven-thirty the great basso would consent to sing, only with the

understanding that Mr. Hurok would walk out on the stage of the

Metropolitan and announce that Chaliapin had a very bad cold and

was not in good voice. Mr. Hurok would lie and say he would do it,

for he knew that was the only way to get the basso out on the stage.

Dr. Arthur I. Gates said in his splendid book Educational Psychology:

"Sympathy the human species universally craves. The child eagerly

displays his injury; or even inflicts a cut or bruise in order to reap

abundant sympathy. For the same purpose adults ... show their

bruises, relate their accidents, illness, especially details of surgical

operations. 'Self-pity' for misfortunes real or imaginary is in some

measure, practically a universal practice."

So, if you want to win people to your way of thinking, put in practice

...

• Principle 9 - Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and

desires.

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10 - An Appeal That Everybody Likes

I was reared on the edge of the Jesse James country out in Missouri,

and I visited the James farm at Kearney, Missouri, where the son of

Jesse James was then living.

His wife told me stories of how Jesse robbed trains and held up

banks and then gave money to the neighboring farmers to pay off

their mortgages.

Jesse James probably regarded himself as an idealist at heart, just as

Dutch Schultz, "Two Gun" Crowley, Al Capone and many other

organized crime "godfathers" did generations later. The fact is that

all people you meet have a high regard for themselves and like to be

fine and unselfish in their own estimation.

J. Pierpont Morgan observed, in one of his analytical interludes, that

a person usually has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds

good and a real one.

The person himself will think of the real reason. You don't need to

emphasize that. But all of us, being idealists at heart, like to think of

motives that sound good. So, in order to change people, appeal to

the nobler motives.

Is that too idealistic to work in business? Let's see. Let's take the

case of Hamilton J. Farrell of the Farrell-Mitchell Company of

Glenolden, Pennsylvania. Mr. Farrell had a disgruntled tenant who

threatened to move. The tenant's lease still had four months to run;

nevertheless, he served notice that he was vacating immediately,

regardless of lease.

"These people had lived in my house all winter - the most expensive

part of the year," Mr. Farrell said as he told the story to the class,

"and I knew it would be difficult to rent the apartment again before

fall. I could see all that rent income going over the hill and believe

me, I saw red.

"Now, ordinarily, I would have waded into that tenant and advised

him to read his lease again. I would have pointed out that if he

moved, the full balance of his rent would fall due at once - and that I

could, and would, move to collect.

"However, instead of flying off the handle and making a scene, I

decided to try other tactics. So I started like this: 'Mr. Doe,' I said, 'I

have listened to your story, and I still don't believe you intend to

move. Years in the renting business have taught me something

about human nature, and I sized you up in the first place as being a

man of your word. In fact, I'm so sure of it that I'm willing to take a

gamble.

" 'Now, here's my proposition. Lav your decision on the table for a

few days and think it over. If you come back to me between now

and the first of the month, when your rent is due, and tell me you

still intend to move, I give you my word I will accept your decision as

final. I will privilege you to move and admit to myself I've been

wrong in my judgment. But I still believe you're a man of your word

and will live up to your contract. For after all, we are either men or

monkeys - and the choice usually lies with ourselves!'

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"Well, when the new month came around, this gentleman came to

see me and paid his rent in person. He and his wife had talked it

over, he said - and decided to stay. They had concluded that the

only honorable thing to do was to live up to their lease."

When the late Lord Northcliffe found a newspaper using a picture of

him which he didn't want published, he wrote the editor a letter. But

did he say, "Please do not publish that picture of me any more; I

don't like it"? No, he appealed to a nobler motive. He appealed to the

respect and love that all of us have for motherhood. He wrote,

"Please do not publish that picture of me any more. My mother

doesn't like it."

When John D. Rockefeller, Jr., wished to stop newspaper

photographers from snapping pictures of his children, he too

appealed to the nobler motives. He didn't, say: "I don't want their

pictures published." No, he appealed to the desire, deep in all of us,

to refrain from harming children. He said: "You know how it is, boys.

You've got children yourselves, some of you. And you know it's not

good for youngsters to get too much publicity."

When Cyrus H. K. Curtis, the poor boy from Maine, was starting on

his meteoric career, which was destined to make him millions as

owner of The Saturday Evening Post and the Ladies' Home Journal,

he couldn't afford to pay his contributors the prices that other

magazines paid. He couldn't afford to hire first-class authors to write

for money alone. So he appealed to their nobler motives. For

example, he persuaded even Louisa May Alcott, the immortal author

of Little Women, to write for him when she was at the flood tide of

her fame; and he did it by offering to send a check for a hundred

dollars, not to her, but to her favorite charity.

Right here the skeptic may say: "Oh, that stuff is all right for

Northcliffe and Rockefeller or a sentimental novelist. But, I'd like to

see you make it work with the tough babies I have to collect bills

from!"

You may be right. Nothing will work in all cases - and nothing will

work with all people. If you are satisfied with the results you are now

getting, why change? If you are not satisfied, why not experiment?

At any rate, I think you will enjoy reading this true story told by

James L. Thomas, a former student of mine:

Six customers of a certain automobile company refused to pay their

bills for servicing. None of the customers protested the entire bill,

but each claimed that some one charge was wrong. In each case,

the customer had signed for the work done, so the company knew it

was right - and said so. That was the first mistake.

Here are the steps the men in the credit department took to collect

these overdue bills. Do you suppose they succeeded?

• 1. They called on each customer and told him bluntly that they had

come to collect a bill that was long past due.

• 2. They made it very plain that the company was absolutely and

unconditionally right; therefore he, the customer, was absolutely and

unconditionally wrong.

• 3. They intimated that they, the company, knew more about

automobiles than he could ever hope to know. So what was the

argument about?

• 4. Result: They argued.

Did any of these methods reconcile the customer and settle the

account? You can answer that one yourself.

At this stage of affairs, the credit manager was about to open fire

with a battery of legal talent, when fortunately the matter came to

the attention of the general manager. The manager investigated

these defaulting clients and discovered that they all had the

reputation of paying their bills promptly, Something was wrong here

- something was drastically wrong about the method of collection. So

he called in James L. Thomas and told him to collect these

"uncollectible" accounts.

Here, in his words, are the steps Mr. Thrrmas took:

1. My visit to each customer was likewise to collect a bill long past

due - a bill that we knew was absolutely right. But I didn't say a

word about that. I explained I had called to find out what it was the

company had done, or failed to do.

2. I made it clear that, until I had heard the customer's story, I had

no opinion to offer. I told him the company made no claims to being

infallible.

3. I told him I was interested only in his car, and that he knew more

about his car than anyone else in the world; that he was the

authority on the subject.

4. I let him talk, and I listened to him with all the interest and

sympathy that he wanted - and had expected.

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5. Finally, when the customer was in a reasonable mood, I put the

whole thing up to his sense of fair play. I appealed to the nobler

motives. "First," I said, "I want you to know I also feel this matter

has been badly mishandled. You've been inconvenienced and

annoyed and irritated by one of our representatives. That should

never have happened. I'm sorry and, as a representative of the

company, I apologize. As I sat here and listened to your side of the

story, I could not help being impressed by your fairness and

patience. And now, because you are fair - minded and patient, I am

going to ask you to do something for me. It's something that you

can do better than anyone else, something you know more about

than anyone else. Here is your bill; I know it is safe for me to ask

you to adjust it, just as you would do if you were the president of my

company. I am going to leave it all up to you. Whatever you say

goes."

Did he adjust the bill? He certainly did, and got quite a kick out of it,

The bills ranged from $150 to $400 - but did the customer give

himself the best of it? Yes, one of them did! One of them refused to

pay a penny of the disputed charge; but the other five all gave the

company the best of it! And here's the cream of the whole thing: we

delivered new cars to all six of these customers within the next two

years!

"Experience has taught me," says Mr. Thomas, "that when no

information can be secured about the customer, the only sound basis

on which to proceed is to assume that he or she is sincere, honest,

truthful and willing and anxious to pay the charges, once convinced

they are correct. To put it differently and perhaps mare clearly,

people are honest and want to discharge their obligations. The

exceptions to that rule are comparatively few, and I am convinced

that the individuals who are inclined to chisel will in most cases react

favorably if you make them feel that you consider them honest,

upright and fair."

• Principle 10 - Appeal to the nobler motives.

~~~~~~~

11 - The Movies Do It. Tv Does It. Why Don't You Do It?

Many years ago, the Philadelphia Evening Bulletin was being

maligned by a dangerous whispering campaign. A malicious rumor

was being circulated. Advertisers were being told that the newspaper

was no longer attractive to readers because it carried too much

advertising and too little news. Immediate action was necessary. The

gossip had to be squelched.

But how?

This is the way it was done.

The Bulletin clipped from its regular edition all reading matter of all

kinds on one average day, classified it, and published it as a book.

The book was called One Day. It contained 307 pages - as many as a

hard-covered book; yet the Bulletin had printed all this news and

feature material on one day and sold it, not for several dollars, but

for a few cents.

The printing of that book dramatized the fact that the Bulletin carried

an enormous amount of interesting reading matter. It conveyed the

facts more vividly, more interestingly, more impressively, than pages

of figures and mere talk could have done.

This is the day of dramatization. Merely stating a truth isn't enough.

The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic. You have to

use showmanship. The movies do it. Television does it. And you will

have to do it if you want attention.

Experts in window display know the power of dramazation. For

example, the manufacturers of a new rat poison gave dealers a

window display that included two live rats. The week the rats were

shown, sales zoomed to five times their normal rate.

Television commercials abound with examples of the use of dramatic

techniques in selling products. Sit down one evening in front of your

television set and analyze what the advertisers do in each of their

presentations. You will note how an antacid medicine changes the

color of the acid in a test tube while its competitor doesn't, how one

brand of soap or detergent gets a greasy shirt clean when the other

brand leaves it gray. You'll see a car maneuver around a series of

turns and curves - far better than just being told about it. Happy

faces will show contentment with a variety of products. All of these

dramatize for the viewer the advantages offered by whatever is

being sold - and they do get people to buy them.

You can dramatize your ideas in business or in any other aspect of

your life. It's easy. Jim Yeamans, who sells for the NCR company

(National Cash Register) in Richmond, Virginia, told how he made a

sale by dramatic demonstration.

"Last week I called on a neighborhood grocer and saw that the cash

registers he was using at his checkout counters were very old

fashioned. I approached the owner and told him: 'You are literally

throwing away pennies every time a customer goes through your

line.' With that I threw a handful of pennies on the floor. He quickly

became more attentive. The mere words should have been of

interest to him, but the sound of Pennies hitting the floor really

stopped him. I was able to get an order from him to replace all of his

old machines."

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It works in home life as well. When the old-time lover Proposed to

his sweetheart, did he just use words of love? No! He went down on

his knees. That really showed he meant what he said. We don't

propose on our knees any more, but many suitors still set up a

romantic atmosphere before they pop the question.

Dramatizing what you want works with children as well. Joe B. Fant,

Jr., of Birmingham, Alabama, was having difficulty getting his fiveyear-old boy and three-year-old daughter to pick up their toys, so he

invented a "train." Joey was the engineer (Captain Casey Jones) on

his tricycle. Janet's wagon was attached, and in the evening she

loaded all the "coal" on the caboose (her wagon) and then jumped in

while her brother drove her around the room. In this way the room

was cleaned up - without lectures, arguments or threats.

Mary Catherine Wolf of Mishawaka, Indiana, was having some

problems at work and decided that she had to discuss them with the

boss. On Monday morning she requested an appointment with him

but was told he was very busy and she should arrange with his

secretary for an appointment later in the week. The secretary

indicated that his schedule was very tight, but she would try to fit

her in.

Ms. Wolf described what happened:

"I did not get a reply from her all week long. Whenever I questioned

her, she would give me a reason why the boss could not see me.

Friday morning came and I had heard nothing definite. I really

wanted to see him and discuss my problems before the weekend, so

I asked myself how I could get him to see me.

"What I finally did was this. I wrote him a formal letter. I indicated in

the letter that I fully understood how extremely busy he was all

week, but it was important that I speak with him. I enclosed a form

letter and a self-addressed envelope and asked him to please fill it

out or ask his secretary to do it and return it to me. The form letter

read as follows:

Ms. Wolf - I will be able to see you on __________ a t

__________A.M/P.M. I will give you _____minutes of my time.

"I put this letter in his in-basket at ffice:smarttags" />11 A.M. At 2 P.M. I checked my

mailbox. There was my self-addressed envelope. He had answered

my form letter himself and indicated he could see me that afternoon

and could give me ten minutes of his time. I met with him, and we

talked for over an hour and resolved my problems.

"If I had not dramatized to him the fact that I really wanted to see

him, I would probably be still waiting for an appointment."

James B. Boynton had to present a lengthy market report. His firm

had just finished an exhaustive study for a leading brand of cold

cream. Data were needed immediately about the competition in this

market; the prospective customer was one of the biggest - and most

formidable - men in the advertising business.

And his first approach failed almost before he began.

"The first time I went in," Mr. Boynton explains, "I found myself

sidetracked into a futile discussion of the methods used in the

investigation. He argued and I argued. He told me I was wrong, and

I tried to prove that I was right.

"I finally won my point, to my own satisfaction - but my time was up,

the interview was over, and I still hadn't produced results.

"The second time, I didn't bother with tabulations of figures and

data, I went to see this man, I dramatized my facts I.

"As I entered his office, he was busy on the phone. While he finished

his conversation, I opened a suitcase and dumped thirty-two jars of

cold cream on top of his desk - all products he knew - all competitors

of his cream.

"On each jar, I had a tag itemizing the results of the trade

investigation, And each tag told its story briefly, dramatically.

"What happened?

"There was no longer an argument. Here was something new,

something different. He picked up first one and then another of the

jars of cold cream and read the information on the tag. A friendly

conversation developed. He asked additional questions. He was

intensely interested. He had originally given me only ten minutes to

present my facts, but ten minutes passed, twenty minutes, forty

minutes, and at the end of an hour we were still talking.

"I was presenting the same facts this time that I had presented

previously. But this time I was using dramatization, showmanship -

and what a difference it made."

• Principle 11 - Dramatize your ideas.

~~~~~~~

12 - When Nothing Else Works, Try This

Charles Schwab had a mill manager whose people weren't producing

their quota of work.

"How is it," Schwab asked him, "that a manager as capable as you

can't make this mill turn out what it should?"

"I don't know," the manager replied. "I've coaxed the men, I've

pushed them, I've sworn and cussed, I've threatened them with

damnation and being fired. But nothing works. They just won't

produce."

This conversation took place at the end of the day, just before the

night shift came on. Schwab asked the manager for a piece of chalk,

then, turning to the nearest man, asked: "How many heats did your

shift make today?"