How To Win Friends And Influence People

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Another man, an old New Yorker, a Harvard graduate, a wealthyfficeffice" />

man, the owner of a large carpet factory, declared he had learned

more in fourteen weeks through this system of training about the

fine art of influencing people than he had learned about the same

subject during his four years in college. Absurd? Laughable?

Fantastic? Of course, you are privileged to dismiss this statement

with whatever adjective you wish. I am merely reporting, without

comment, a declaration made by a conservative and eminently

successful Harvard graduate in a public address to approximately six

hundred people at the Yale Club in New York on the evening of

Thursday, February 23, 1933.

"Compared to what we ought to be," said the famous Professor

William James of Harvard, "compared to what we ought to be, we

are only half awake. We are making use of only a small part of our

physical and mental resources. Stating the thing broadly, the human

individual thus lives far within his limits. He possesses powers of

various sorts which he habitually fails to use,"

Those powers which you "habitually fail to use"! The sole purpose of

this book is to help you discover, develop and profit by those

dormant and unused assets,

"Education," said Dr. John G. Hibben, former president of Princeton

University, "is the ability to meet life's situations,"

If by the time you have finished reading the first three chapters of

this book- if you aren't then a little better equipped to meet life's

situations, then I shall consider this book to be a total failure so far

as you are concerned. For "the great aim of education," said Herbert

Spencer, "is not knowledge but action."

And this is an action book.

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DALE CARNEGIE 1936fficeffice" />

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Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of This Book

1. If you wish to get the most out of this book, there is one

indispensable requirement, one essential infinitely more important

than any rule or technique. Unless you have this one fundamental

requisite, a thousand rules on how to study will avail little, And if you

do have this cardinal endowment, then you can achieve wonders

without reading any suggestions for getting the most out of a book.

What is this magic requirement? Just this: a deep, driving desire to

learn, a vigorous determination to increase your ability to deal with

people.

How can you develop such an urge? By constantly reminding yourself

how important these principles are to you. Picture to yourself how

their mastery will aid you in leading a richer, fuller, happier and more

fulfilling life. Say to yourself over and over: "My popularity, my

happiness and sense of worth depend to no small extent upon my

skill in dealing with people."

2. Read each chapter rapidly at first to get a bird's-eye view of it.

You will probably be tempted then to rush on to the next one. But

don't - unless you are reading merely for entertainment. But if you

are reading because you want to increase your skill in human

relations, then go back and reread each chapter thoroughly. In the

long run, this will mean saving time and getting results.

3. Stop frequently in your reading to think over what you are

reading. Ask yourself just how and when you can apply each

suggestion.

4. Read with a crayon, pencil, pen, magic marker or highlighter in

your hand. When you come across a suggestion that you feel you

can use, draw a line beside it. If it is a four-star suggestion, then

underscore every sentence or highlight it, or mark it with "****."

Marking and underscoring a book makes it more interesting, and far

easier to review rapidly.

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5. I knew a woman who had been office manager for a largefficeffice" />

insurance concern for fifteen years. Every month, she read all the

insurance contracts her company had issued that month. Yes, she

read many of the same contracts over month after month, year after

year. Why? Because experience had taught her that that was the

only way she could keep their provisions clearly in mind. I once spent

almost two years writing a book on public speaking and yet I found I

had to keep going back over it from time to time in order to

remember what I had written in my own book. The rapidity with

which we forget is astonishing.

So, if you want to get a real, lasting benefit out of this book, don't

imagine that skimming through it once will suffice. After reading it

thoroughly, you ought to spend a few hours reviewing it every

month, Keep it on your desk in front of you every day. Glance

through it often. Keep constantly impressing yourself with the rich

possibilities for improvement that still lie in the offing. Remember

that the use of these principles can be made habitual only by a

constant and vigorous campaign of review and application. There is

no other way.

6. Bernard Shaw once remarked: "If you teach a man anything, he

will never learn." Shaw was right. Learning is an active process. We

learn by doing. So, if you desire to master the principles you are

studying in this book, do something about them. Apply these rules at

every opportunity. If you don't you will forget them quickly. Only

knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.

You will probably find it difficult to apply these suggestions all the

time. I know because I wrote the book, and yet frequently I found it

difficult to apply everything I advocated. For example, when you are

displeased, it is much easier to criticize and condemn than it is to try

to understand the other person's viewpoint. It is frequently easier to

find fault than to find praise. It is more natural to talk about what

vou want than to talk about what the other person wants. And so on,

So, as you read this book, remember that you are not merely trying

to acquire information. You are attempting to form new habits. Ah

yes, you are attempting a new way of life. That will require time and

persistence and daily application.

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So refer to these pages often. Regard this as a working handbook onfficeffice" />

human relations; and whenever you are confronted with some

specific problem - such as handling a child, winning your spouse to

your way of thinking, or satisfying an irritated customer - hesitate

about doing the natural thing, the impulsive thing. This is usually

wrong. Instead, turn to these pages and review the paragraphs you

have underscored. Then try these new ways and watch them achieve

magic for you.

7. Offer your spouse, your child or some business associate a dime

or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating a certain

principle. Make a lively game out of mastering these rules.

8. The president of an important Wall Street bank once described, in

a talk before one of my classes, a highly efficient system he used for

self-improvement. This man had little formal schooling; yet he had

become one of the most important financiers in America, and he

confessed that he owed most of his success to the constant

application of his homemade system. This is what he does, I'll put it

in his own words as accurately as I can remember.

"For years I have kept an engagement book showing all the

appointments I had during the day. My family never made any plans

for me on Saturday night, for the family knew that I devoted a part

of each Saturday evening to the illuminating process of selfexamination and review and appraisal. After dinner I went off by

myself, opened my engagement book, and thought over all the

interviews, discussions and meetings that had taken place during the

week. I asked myself:

'What mistakes did I make that time?' 'What did I do that was rightand in what way could I have improved my performance?' 'What

lessons can I learn from that experience?'

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"I often found that this weekly review made me very unhappy. I wasfficeffice" />

frequently astonished at my own blunders. Of course, as the years

passed, these blunders became less frequent. Sometimes I was

inclined to pat myself on the back a little after one of these sessions.

This system of self-analysis, self-education, continued year after

year, did more for me than any other one thing I have ever

attempted.

"It helped me improve my ability to make decisions - and it aided me

enormously in all my contacts with people. I cannot recommend it

too highly."

Why not use a similar system to check up on your application of the

principles discussed in this book? If you do, two things will result.

First, you will find yourself engaged in an educational process that is

both intriguing and priceless.

Second, you will find that your ability to meet and deal with people

will grow enormously.

9. You will find at the end of this book several blank pages on which

you should record your triumphs in the application of these

principles. Be specific. Give names, dates, results. Keeping such a

record will inspire you to greater efforts; and how fascinating these

entries will be when you chance upon them some evening years from

now!

In order to get the most out of this book:

• a. Develop a deep, driving desire to master the principles of human

relations,

• b. Read each chapter twice before going on to the next one.

• c. As you read, stop frequently to ask yourself how you can apply

each suggestion.

• d. Underscore each important idea.

• e. Review this book each month.

• f. Apply these principles at every opportunity. Use this volume as a

working handbook to help you solve your daily problems.

• g. Make a lively game out of your learning by offering some friend

a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating one of

these principles.

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• h. Check up each week on the progress you are mak-ing. Askfficeffice" />

yourself what mistakes you have made, what improvement, what

lessons you have learned for the future.

• i. Keep notes in the back of this book showing how and when you

have applied these principles.

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A Shortcut to Distinction

by Lowell Thomas

This biographical information about Dale Carnegie was written as an

introduction to the original edition of How to Win Friends and

Influence People. It is reprinted in this edition to give the readers

additional background on Dale Carnegie.

It was a cold January night in 1935, but the weather couldn't keep

them away. Two thousand five hundred men and women thronged

into the grand ballroom of the Hotel Pennsylvania in New York. Every

available seat was filled by half-past seven. At eight o'clock, the

eager crowd was still pouring in. The spacious balcony was soon

jammed. Presently even standing space was at a premium, and

hundreds of people, tired after navigating a day in business, stood

up for an hour and a half that night to witness - what?

A fashion show?

A six-day bicycle race or a personal appearance by Clark Gable?

No. These people had been lured there by a newspaper ad. Two

evenings previously, they had seen this full-page announcement in

the New York Sun staring them in the face:

Learn to Speak Effectively Prepare for Leadership

Old stuff? Yes, but believe it or not, in the most sophisticated town

on earth, during a depression with 20 percent of the population on

relief, twenty-five hundred people had left their homes and hustled

to the hotel in response to that ad.

The people who responded were of the upper economic strata -

executives, employers and professionals.

These men and women had come to hear the opening gun of an

ultramodern, ultrapractical course in "Effective Speaking and

Influencing Men in Business"- a course given by the Dale Carnegie

Institute of Effective Speaking and Human Relations.

Why were they there, these twenty-five hundred business men and

women?

Because of a sudden hunger for more education because of the

depression?

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Apparently not, for this same course had been playing to packedfficeffice" />

houses in New York City every season for the preceding twenty-four

years. During that time, more than fifteen thousand business and

professional people had been trained by Dale Carnegie. Even large,

skeptical, conservative organizations such as the Westinghouse

Electric Company, the McGraw-Hill Publishing Company, the Brooklyn

Union Gas Company, the Brooklyn Chamber of Commerce, the

American Institute of Electrical Engineers and the New York

Telephone Company have had this training conducted in their own

offices for the benefit of their members and executives.

The fact that these people, ten or twenty years after leaving grade

school, high school or college, come and take this training is a

glaring commentary on the shocking deficiencies of our educational

system.

What do adults really want to study? That is an important question;

and in order to answer it, the University of Chicago, the American

Association for Adult Education, and the United Y.M.C.A. Schools

made a survey over a two-year period.

That survey revealed that the prime interest of adults is health. It

also revealed that their second interest is in developing skill in

human relationships - they want to learn the technique of getting

along with and influencing other people. They don't want to become

public speakers, and they don't want to listen to a lot of high

sounding talk about psychology; they want suggestions they can use

immediately in business, in social contacts and in the home.

So that was what adults wanted to study, was it?

"All right," said the people making the survey. "Fine. If that is what

they want, we'll give it to them."

Looking around for a textbook, they discovered that no working

manual had ever been written to help people solve their daily

problems in human relationships.

Here was a fine kettle of fish! For hundreds of years, learned

volumes had been written on Greek and Latin and higher

mathematics - topics about which the average adult doesn't give two

hoots. But on the one subject on which he has a thirst for

knowledge, a veritable passion for guidance and help - nothing!

This explained the presence of twenty-five hundred eager adults

crowding into the grand ballroom of the Hotel Pennsylvania in

response to a newspaper advertisement. Here, apparently, at last

was the thing for which they had long been seeking.

Back in high school and college, they had pored over books,

believing that knowledge alone was the open sesame to financial -

and professional rewards.

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But a few years in the rough-and-tumble of business andfficeffice" />

professional life had brought sharp dissillusionment. They had seen

some of the most important business successes won by men who

possessed, in addition to their knowledge, the ability to talk well, to

win people to their way of thinking, and to "sell" themselves and

their ideas.

They soon discovered that if one aspired to wear the captain's cap

and navigate the ship of business, personality and the ability to talk

are more important than a knowledge of Latin verbs or a sheepskin

from Harvard.

The advertisement in the New York Sun promised that the meeting

would be highly entertaining. It was. Eighteen people who had taken

the course were marshaled in front of the loudspeaker - and fifteen

of them were given precisely seventy-five seconds each to tell his or

her story. Only seventy-five seconds of talk, then "bang" went the

gavel, and the chairman shouted, "Time! Next speaker!"

The affair moved with the speed of a herd of buffalo thundering

across the plains. Spectators stood for an hour and a half to watch

the performance.

The speakers were a cross section of life: several sales

representatives, a chain store executive, a baker, the president of a

trade association, two bankers, an insurance agent, an accountant, a

dentist, an architect, a druggist who had come from Indianapolis to

New York to take the course, a lawyer who had come from Havana

in order to prepare himself to give one important three-minute

speech.

The first speaker bore the Gaelic name Patrick J. O'Haire. Born in

Ireland, he attended school for only four years, drifted to America,

worked as a mechanic, then as a chauffeur.

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Now, however, he was forty, he had a growing family and neededfficeffice" />

more money, so he tried selling trucks. Suffering from an inferiority

complex that, as he put it, was eating his heart out, he had to walk

up and down in front of an office half a dozen times before he could

summon up enough courage to open the door. He was so

discouraged as a salesman that he was thinking of going back to

working with his hands in a machine shop, when one day he

received a letter inviting him to an organization meeting of the Dale

Carnegie Course in Effective Speaking.

He didn't want to attend. He feared he would have to associate with

a lot of college graduates, that he would be out of place.

His despairing wife insisted that he go, saying, "It may do you some

good, Pat. God knows you need it." He went down to the place

where the meeting was to be held and stood on the sidewalk for five

minutes before he could generate enough self-confidence to enter

the room.

The first few times he tried to speak in front of the others, he was

dizzy with fear. But as the weeks drifted by, he lost all fear of

audiences and soon found that he loved to talk - the bigger the

crowd, the better. And he also lost his fear of individuals and of his

superiors. He presented his ideas to them, and soon he had been

advanced into the sales department. He had become a valued and

much liked member of his company. This night, in the Hotel

Pennsylvania, Patrick O'Haire stood in front of twenty-five hundred

people and told a gay, rollicking story of his achievements. Wave

after wave of laughter swept over the audience. Few professional

speakers could have equaled his performance.

The next speaker, Godfrey Meyer, was a gray-headed banker, the

father of eleven children. The first time he had attempted to speak in

class, he was literally struck dumb. His mind refused to function. His

story is a vivid illustration of how leadership gravitates to the person

who can talk.

He worked on Wall Street, and for twenty-five years he had been

living in Clifton, New Jersey. During that time, he had taken no

active part in community affairs and knew perhaps five hundred

people.

Shortly after he had enrolled in the Carnegie course, he received his

tax bill and was infuriated by what he considered unjust charges.

Ordinarily, he would have sat at home and fumed, or he would have

taken it out in grousing to his neighbors. But instead, he put on his

hat that night, walked into the town meeting, and blew off steam in

public.

As a result of that talk of indignation, the citizens of Clifton, New

Jersey, urged him to run for the town council. So for weeks he went

from one meeting to another, denouncing waste and municipal

extravagance.

There were ninety-six candidates in the field. When the ballots were

counted, lo, Godfrey Meyer's name led all the rest. Almost overnight,

he had become a public figure among the forty thousand people in

his community. As a result of his talks, he made eighty times more

friends in six weeks than he had been able to previously in twentyfive years.

And his salary as councilman meant that he got a return of 1,000

percent a year on his investment in the Carnegie course.

The third speaker, the head of a large national association of food

manufacturers, told how he had been unable to stand up and

express his ideas at meetings of a board of directors.

As a result of learning to think on his feet, two astonishing things

happened. He was soon made president of his association, and in

that capacity, he was obliged to address meetings all over the United

States. Excerpts from his talks were put on the Associated Press

wires and printed in newspapers and trade magazines throughout

the country.

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In two years, after learning to speak more effectively, he receivedfficeffice" />

more free publicity for his company and its products than he had

been able to get previously with a quarter of a million dollars spent

in direct advertising. This speaker admitted that he had formerly

hesitated to telephone some of the more important business

executives in Manhattan and invite them to lunch with him. But as a

result of the prestige he had acquired by his talks, these same

people telephoned him and invited him to lunch and apologized to

him for encroaching on his time.

The ability to speak is a shortcut to distinction. It puts a person in

the limelight, raises one head and shoulders above the crowd. And

the person who can speak acceptably is usually given credit for an

ability out of all proportion to what he or she really possesses.

A movement for adult education has been sweeping over the nation;

and the most spectacular force in that movement was Dale Carnegie,

a man who listened to and critiqued more talks by adults than has

any other man in captivity. According to a cartoon by "Believe-It-or-

Not" Ripley, he had criticized 150,000 speeches. If that grand total

doesn't impress you, remember that it meant one talk for almost

every day that has passed since Columbus discovered America. Or,

to put it in other words, if all the people who had spoken before him

had used only three minutes and had appeared before him in

succession, it would have taken ten months, listening day and night,

to hear them all.

Dale Carnegie's own career, filled with sharp contrasts, was a striking

example of what a person can accomplish when obsessed with an

original idea and afire with enthusiasm.

Born on a Missouri farm ten miles from a railway, he never saw a

streetcar until he was twelve years old; yet by the time he was fortysix, he was familiar with the far-flung corners of the earth,

everywhere from Hong Kong to Hammerfest; and, at one time, he

approached closer to the North Pole than Admiral Byrd's

headquarters at Little America was to the South Pole.

This Missouri lad who had once picked strawberries and cut

cockleburs for five cents an hour became the highly paid trainer of

the executives of large corporations in the art of self-expression.

This erstwhile cowboy who had once punched cattle and branded

calves and ridden fences out in western South Dakota later went to

London to put on shows under the patronage of the royal family.

This chap who was a total failure the first half-dozen times he tried

to speak in public later became my personal manager. Much of my

success has been due to training under Dale Carnegie.