How To Win Friends And Influence People - 第3页 - 英语 English - 航空论坛_航空翻译_民航英语翻译_飞行翻译

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:37:47

Young Carnegie had to struggle for an education, for hard luck was<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
always battering away at the old farm in northwest Missouri with a<o:p></o:p>
flying tackle and a body slam. Year after year, the "102" River rose<o:p></o:p>
and drowned the corn and swept away the hay. Season after season,<o:p></o:p>
the fat hogs sickened and died from cholera, the bottom fell out of<o:p></o:p>
the market for cattle and mules, and the bank threatened to<o:p></o:p>
foreclose the mortgage.<o:p></o:p>
Sick with discouragement, the family sold out and bought another<o:p></o:p>
farm near the State Teachers' College at Warrensburg, Missouri.<o:p></o:p>
Board and room could be had in town for a dollar a day, but young<o:p></o:p>
Carnegie couldn't afford it. So he stayed on the farm and commuted<o:p></o:p>
on horseback three miles to college each day. At home, he milked<o:p></o:p>
the cows, cut the wood, fed the hogs, and studied his Latin verbs by<o:p></o:p>
the light of a coal-oil lamp until his eyes blurred and he began to<o:p></o:p>
nod.<o:p></o:p>
Even when he got to bed at midnight, he set the alarm for three<o:p></o:p>
o'clock. His father bred pedigreed Duroc-Jersey hogs - and there was<o:p></o:p>
danger, during the bitter cold nights, that the young pigs would<o:p></o:p>
freeze to death; so they were put in a basket, covered with a gunny<o:p></o:p>
sack, and set behind the kitchen stove. True to their nature, the pigs<o:p></o:p>
demanded a hot meal at <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:chmetcnv w:st="on" TCSC="0" NumberType="1" Negative="False" HasSpace="True" SourceValue="3" UnitName="a">3 A</st1:chmetcnv>.M. So when the alarm went off, Dale<o:p></o:p>
Carnegie crawled out of the blankets, took the basket of pigs out to<o:p></o:p>
their mother, waited for them to nurse, and then brought them back<o:p></o:p>
to the warmth of the kitchen stove.<o:p></o:p>
There were six hundred students in State Teachers' College, and<o:p></o:p>
Dale Carnegie was one of the isolated half-dozen who couldn't afford<o:p></o:p>
to board in town. He was ashamed of the poverty that made it<o:p></o:p>
necessary for him to ride back to the farm and milk the cows every<o:p></o:p>
night. He was ashamed of his coat, which was too tight, and his<o:p></o:p>
trousers, which were too short. Rapidly developing an inferiority<o:p></o:p>
complex, he looked about for some shortcut to distinction. He soon<o:p></o:p>
saw that there were certain groups in college that enjoyed influence<o:p></o:p>
and prestige - the football and baseball players and the chaps who<o:p></o:p>
won the debating and public-speaking contests.<o:p></o:p>
Realizing that he had no flair for athletics, he decided to win one of<o:p></o:p>
the speaking contests. He spent months preparing his talks. He<o:p></o:p>
practiced as he sat in the saddle galloping to college and back; he<o:p></o:p>
practiced his speeches as he milked the cows; and then he mounted<o:p></o:p>
a bale of hay in the barn and with great gusto and gestures<o:p></o:p>
harangued the frightened pigeons about the issues of the day.<o:p></o:p>
But in spite of all his earnestness and preparation, he met with<o:p></o:p>
defeat after defeat. He was eighteen at the time - sensitive and<o:p></o:p>
proud. He became so discouraged, so depressed, that he even<o:p></o:p>
thought of suicide. And then suddenly he began to win, not one<o:p></o:p>
contest, but every speaking contest in college.<o:p></o:p>

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:38:00

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:38:19

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:38:39

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:38:54

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:39:08

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:39:45

B. F. Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, proved through his<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn<o:p></o:p>
much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than<o:p></o:p>
an animal punished for bad behavior. Later studies have shown that<o:p></o:p>
the same applies to humans. By criticizing, we do not make lasting<o:p></o:p>
changes and often incur resentment.<o:p></o:p>
Hans Selye, another great psychologist, said, "As much as we thirst<o:p></o:p>
for approval, we dread condemnation,"<o:p></o:p>
The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize employees,<o:p></o:p>
family members and friends, and still not correct the situation that<o:p></o:p>
has been condemned.<o:p></o:p>
George B. Johnston of Enid, Oklahoma, is the safety coordinator for<o:p></o:p>
an engineering company, One of his re-sponsibilities is to see that<o:p></o:p>
employees wear their hard hats whenever they are on the job in the<o:p></o:p>
field. He reported that whenever he came across workers who were<o:p></o:p>
not wearing hard hats, he would tell them with a lot of authority of<o:p></o:p>
the regulation and that they must comply. As a result he would get<o:p></o:p>
sullen acceptance, and often after he left, the workers would remove<o:p></o:p>
the hats.<o:p></o:p>
He decided to try a different approach. The next time he found some<o:p></o:p>
of the workers not wearing their hard hat, he asked if the hats were<o:p></o:p>
uncomfortable or did not fit properly. Then he reminded the men in a<o:p></o:p>
pleasant tone of voice that the hat was designed to protect them<o:p></o:p>
from injury and suggested that it always be worn on the job. The<o:p></o:p>
result was increased compliance with the regulation with no<o:p></o:p>
resentment or emotional upset.<o:p></o:p>
You will find examples of the futility of criticism bristling on a<o:p></o:p>
thousand pages of history, Take, for example, the famous quarrel<o:p></o:p>
between Theodore Roosevelt and President Taft - a quarrel that split<o:p></o:p>
the Republican party, put Woodrow Wilson in the White House, and<o:p></o:p>
wrote bold, luminous lines across the First World War and altered the<o:p></o:p>
flow of history. Let's review the facts quickly. When Theodore<o:p></o:p>
Roosevelt stepped out of the White House in 1908, he supported<o:p></o:p>
Taft, who was elected President. Then Theodore Roosevelt went off<o:p></o:p>
to Africa to shoot lions. When he returned, he exploded. He<o:p></o:p>
denounced Taft for his conservatism, tried to secure the nomination<o:p></o:p>
for a third term himself, formed the Bull Moose party, and all but<o:p></o:p>
demolished the G.O.P. In the election that followed, William Howard<o:p></o:p>
Taft and the Republican party carried only two states - Vermont and<o:p></o:p>
Utah. The most disastrous defeat the party had ever known.<o:p></o:p>
Theodore Roosevelt blamed Taft, but did President Taft blame<o:p></o:p>
himself? Of course not, With tears in his eyes, Taft said: "I don't see<o:p></o:p>
how I could have done any differently from what I have."<o:p></o:p>
Who was to blame? Roosevelt or Taft? Frankly, I don't know, and I<o:p></o:p>
don't care. The point I am trying to make is that all of Theodore<o:p></o:p>
Roosevelt's criticism didn't persuade Taft that he was wrong. It<o:p></o:p>
merely made Taft strive to justify himself and to reiterate with tears<o:p></o:p>
in his eyes: "I don't see how I could have done any differently from<o:p></o:p>
what I have."<o:p></o:p>

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:39:59

Or, take the Teapot Dome oil scandal. It kept the newspapers ringing<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
with indignation in the early 1920s. It rocked the nation! Within the<o:p></o:p>
memory of living men, nothing like it had ever happened before in<o:p></o:p>
American public life. Here are the bare facts of the scandal: Albert B.<o:p></o:p>
Fall, secretary of the interior in Harding's cabinet, was entrusted with<o:p></o:p>
the leasing of government oil reserves at Elk Hill and Teapot Dome -<o:p></o:p>
oil reserves that had been set aside for the future use of the Navy.<o:p></o:p>
Did secretary Fall permit competitive bidding? No sir. He handed the<o:p></o:p>
fat, juicy contract outright to his friend Edward L. Doheny. And what<o:p></o:p>
did Doheny do? He gave Secretary Fall what he was pleased to call a<o:p></o:p>
"loan" of one hundred thousand dollars. Then, in a high-handed<o:p></o:p>
manner, Secretary Fall ordered United States Marines into the district<o:p></o:p>
to drive off competitors whose adjacent wells were sapping oil out of<o:p></o:p>
the Elk Hill reserves. These competitors, driven off their ground at<o:p></o:p>
the ends of guns and bayonets, rushed into court - and blew the lid<o:p></o:p>
off the Teapot Dome scandal. A stench arose so vile that it ruined<o:p></o:p>
the Harding Administration, nauseated an entire nation, threatened<o:p></o:p>
to wreck the Republican party, and put Albert B. Fall behind prison<o:p></o:p>
bars.<o:p></o:p>
Fall was condemned viciously - condemned as few men in public life<o:p></o:p>
have ever been. Did he repent? Never! Years later Herbert Hoover<o:p></o:p>
intimated in a public speech that President Harding's death had been<o:p></o:p>
due to mental anxiety and worry because a friend had betrayed him.<o:p></o:p>
When Mrs. Fall heard that, she sprang from her chair, she wept, she<o:p></o:p>
shook her fists at fate and screamed: "What! Harding betrayed by<o:p></o:p>
Fall? No! My husband never betrayed anyone. This whole house full<o:p></o:p>
of gold would not tempt my husband to do wrong. He is the one who<o:p></o:p>
has been betrayed and led to the slaughter and crucified."<o:p></o:p>
There you are; human nature in action, wrongdoers, blaming<o:p></o:p>
everybody but themselves. We are all like that. So when you and I<o:p></o:p>
are tempted to criticize someone tomorrow, let's remember Al<o:p></o:p>
Capone, "Two Gun" Crowley and Albert Fall. Let's realize that<o:p></o:p>
criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home. Let's<o:p></o:p>
realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will<o:p></o:p>
probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return; or, like<o:p></o:p>
the gentle Taft, will say: "I don't see how I could have done any<o:p></o:p>
differently from what I have."<o:p></o:p>
On the morning of April 15, 1865, Abraham Lincoln lay dying in a hall<o:p></o:p>
bedroom of a cheap lodging house directly across the street from<o:p></o:p>
Ford's Theater, where John Wilkes Booth had shot him. Lincoln's<o:p></o:p>
long body lay stretched diagonally across a sagging bed that was too<o:p></o:p>
short for him. A cheap reproduction of Rosa Bonheur's famous<o:p></o:p>
painting The Horse Fair hung above the bed, and a dismal gas jet<o:p></o:p>
flickered yellow light.<o:p></o:p>

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:40:12

As Lincoln lay dying, Secretary of War Stanton said, "There lies the<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
most perfect ruler of men that the world has ever seen."<o:p></o:p>
What was the secret of Lincoln's success in dealing with people? I<o:p></o:p>
studied the life of Abraham Lincoln for ten years and devoted all of<o:p></o:p>
three years to writing and rewriting a book entitled Lincoln the<o:p></o:p>
Unknown. I believe I have made as detailed and exhaustive a study<o:p></o:p>
of Lincoln's personality and home life as it is possible for any being to<o:p></o:p>
make. I made a special study of Lincoln's method of dealing with<o:p></o:p>
people. Did he indulge in criticism? Oh, yes. As a young man in the<o:p></o:p>
Pigeon Creek Valley of Indiana, he not only criticized but he wrote<o:p></o:p>
letters and poems ridiculing people and dropped these letters on the<o:p></o:p>
country roads where they were sure to be found. One of these<o:p></o:p>
letters aroused resentments that burned for a lifetime.<o:p></o:p>
Even after Lincoln had become a practicing lawyer in Springfield,<o:p></o:p>
Illinois, he attacked his opponents openly in letters published in the<o:p></o:p>
newspapers. But he did this just once too often.<o:p></o:p>
In the autumn of 1842 he ridiculed a vain, pugnacious politician by<o:p></o:p>
the name of James Shields. Lincoln lamned him through an<o:p></o:p>
anonymous letter published in Springfield Journal. The town roared<o:p></o:p>
with laughter. Shields, sensitive and proud, boiled with indignation.<o:p></o:p>
He found out who wrote the letter, leaped on his horse, started after<o:p></o:p>
Lincoln, and challenged him to fight a duel. Lincoln didn't want to<o:p></o:p>
fight. He was opposed to dueling, but he couldn't get out of it and<o:p></o:p>
save his honor. He was given the choice of weapons. Since he had<o:p></o:p>
very long arms, he chose cavalry broadswords and took lessons in<o:p></o:p>
sword fighting from a West Point graduate; and, on the appointed<o:p></o:p>
day, he and Shields met on a sandbar in the Mississippi River,<o:p></o:p>
prepared to fight to the death; but, at the last minute, their seconds<o:p></o:p>
interrupted and stopped the duel.<o:p></o:p>
That was the most lurid personal incident in Lincoln's life. It taught<o:p></o:p>
him an invaluable lesson in the art of dealing with people. Never<o:p></o:p>
again did he write an insulting letter. Never again did he ridicule<o:p></o:p>
anyone. And from that time on, he almost never criticized anybody<o:p></o:p>
for anything.<o:p></o:p>
Time after time, during the Civil War, Lincoln put a new general at<o:p></o:p>
the head of the Army of the Potomac, and each one in turn -<o:p></o:p>
McClellan, Pope, Burnside, Hooker, Meade - blundered tragically and<o:p></o:p>
drove Lincoln to pacing the floor in despair. Half the nation savagely<o:p></o:p>
condemned these incompetent generals, but Lincoln, "with malice<o:p></o:p>
toward none, with charity for all," held his peace. One of his favorite<o:p></o:p>
quotations was "Judge not, that ye be not judged."<o:p></o:p>
And when Mrs. Lincoln and others spoke harshly of the southern<o:p></o:p>
people, Lincoln replied: "Don't criticize them; they are just what we<o:p></o:p>
would be under similar circumstances."<o:p></o:p>
Yet if any man ever had occasion to criticize, surely it was Lincoln.<o:p></o:p>
Let's take just one illustration:<o:p></o:p>
The Battle of Gettysburg was fought during the first three days of<o:p></o:p>
July 1863. During the night of July 4, Lee began to retreat southward<o:p></o:p>
while storm clouds deluged the country with rain. When Lee reached<o:p></o:p>
the Potomac with his defeated army, he found a swollen, impassable<o:p></o:p>
river in front of him, and a victorious Union Army behind him. Lee<o:p></o:p>
was in a trap. He couldn't escape. Lincoln saw that. Here was a<o:p></o:p>
golden, heaven-sent opportunity-the opportunity to capture Lee's<o:p></o:p>
army and end the war immediately. So, with a surge of high hope,<o:p></o:p>
Lincoln ordered Meade not to call a council of war but to attack Lee<o:p></o:p>
immediately. Lincoln telegraphed his orders and then sent a special<o:p></o:p>
messenger to Meade demanding immediate action.<o:p></o:p>

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:40:33

And what did General Meade do? He did the very opposite of what<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
he was told to do. He called a council of war in direct violation of<o:p></o:p>
Lincoln's orders. He hesitated. He procrastinated. He telegraphed all<o:p></o:p>
manner of excuses. He refused point-blank to attack Lee. Finally the<o:p></o:p>
waters receded and Lee escaped over the Potomac with his forces.<o:p></o:p>
Lincoln was furious, " What does this mean?" Lincoln cried to his son<o:p></o:p>
Robert. "Great God! What does this mean? We had them within our<o:p></o:p>
grasp, and had only to stretch forth our hands and they were ours;<o:p></o:p>
yet nothing that I could say or do could make the army move. Under<o:p></o:p>
the circumstances, almost any general could have defeated Lee. If I<o:p></o:p>
had gone up there, I could have whipped him myself."<o:p></o:p>
In bitter disappointment, Lincoln sat down and wrote Meade this<o:p></o:p>
letter. And remember, at this period of his life Lincoln was extremely<o:p></o:p>
conservative and restrained in his phraseology. So this letter coming<o:p></o:p>
from Lincoln in 1863 was tantamount to the severest rebuke.<o:p></o:p>
My dear General,<o:p></o:p>
I do not believe you appreciate the magnitude of the misfortune<o:p></o:p>
involved in Lee's escape. He was within our easy grasp, and to have<o:p></o:p>
closed upon him would, in connection With our other late successes,<o:p></o:p>
have ended the war. As it is, the war will be prolonged indefinitely. If<o:p></o:p>
you could not safely attack Lee last Monday, how can you possibly<o:p></o:p>
do so south of the river, when you can take with you very few-no<o:p></o:p>
more than two-thirds of the force you then had in hand? It would be<o:p></o:p>
unreasonable to expect and I do not expect that you can now effect<o:p></o:p>
much. Your golden opportunity is gone, and I am distressed<o:p></o:p>
immeasurably because of it.<o:p></o:p>
What do you suppose Meade did when he read the letter?<o:p></o:p>
Meade never saw that letter. Lincoln never mailed it. It was found<o:p></o:p>
among his papers after his death.<o:p></o:p>
My guess is - and this is only a guess - that after writing that letter,<o:p></o:p>
Lincoln looked out of the window and said to himself, "Just a minute.<o:p></o:p>
Maybe I ought not to be so hasty. It is easy enough for me to sit<o:p></o:p>
here in the quiet of the White House and order Meade to attack; but<o:p></o:p>
if I had been up at Gettysburg, and if I had seen as much blood as<o:p></o:p>
Meade has seen during the last week, and if my ears had been<o:p></o:p>
pierced with the screams and shrieks of the wounded and dying,<o:p></o:p>
maybe I wouldn't be so anxious to attack either. If I had Meade's<o:p></o:p>
timid temperament, perhaps I would have done just what he had<o:p></o:p>
done. Anyhow, it is water under the bridge now. If I send this letter,<o:p></o:p>
it will relieve my feelings, but it will make Meade try to justify<o:p></o:p>
himself. It will make him condemn me. It will arouse hard feelings,<o:p></o:p>
impair all his further usefulness as a commander, and perhaps force<o:p></o:p>
him to resign from the army."<o:p></o:p>
So, as I have already said, Lincoln put the letter aside, for he had<o:p></o:p>
learned by bitter experience that sharp criticisms and rebukes almost<o:p></o:p>
invariably end in futility.<o:p></o:p>
Theodore Roosevelt said that when he, as President, was confronted<o:p></o:p>
with a perplexing problem, he used to lean back and look up at a<o:p></o:p>
large painting of Lincoln which hung above his desk in the White<o:p></o:p>
House and ask himself, "What would Lincoln do if he were in my<o:p></o:p>
shoes? How would he solve this problem?"<o:p></o:p>

页: 1 2 [3] 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

航空论坛_航空翻译_民航英语翻译_飞行翻译's Archiver