How To Win Friends And Influence People - 第10页 - 英语 English - 航空论坛_航空翻译_民航英语翻译_飞行翻译

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:58:04

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At a time like that, with the air seething with hatred, Rockefeller<o:p></o:p>
wanted to win the strikers to his way of thinking. And he did it. How?<o:p></o:p>
Here's the story. After weeks spent in making friends, Rockefeller<o:p></o:p>
addressed the representatives of the strikers. This speech, in its<o:p></o:p>
entirety, is a masterpiece. It produced astonishing results. It calmed<o:p></o:p>
the tempestuous waves of hate that threatened to engulf<o:p></o:p>
Rockefeller. It won him a host of admirers. It presented facts in such<o:p></o:p>
a friendly manner that the strikers went back to work without saying<o:p></o:p>
another word about the increase in wages for which they had fought<o:p></o:p>
so violently.<o:p></o:p>
The opening of that remarkable speech follows. Note how it fairly<o:p></o:p>
glows with friendliness. Rockefeller, remember, was talking to men<o:p></o:p>
who, a few days previously, had wanted to hang him by the neck to<o:p></o:p>
a sour apple tree; yet he couldn't have been more gracious, more<o:p></o:p>
friendly if he had addressed a group of medical missionaries. His<o:p></o:p>
speech was radiant with such phrases as I am proud to be here,<o:p></o:p>
having visited in your homes, met many of your wives and children,<o:p></o:p>
we meet here not as strangers, but as friends ... spirit of mutual<o:p></o:p>
friendship, our common interests, it is only by your courtesy that I<o:p></o:p>
am here.<o:p></o:p>
"This is a red-letter day in my life," Rockefeller began. "It is the first<o:p></o:p>
time I have ever had the good fortune to meet the representatives of<o:p></o:p>
the employees of this great company, its officers and<o:p></o:p>
superintendents, together, and I can assure you that I am proud to<o:p></o:p>
be here, and that I shall remember this gathering as long as I live.<o:p></o:p>
Had this meeting been held two weeks ago, I should have stood here<o:p></o:p>
a stranger to most of you, recognizing a few faces. Having had the<o:p></o:p>
opportunity last week of visiting all the camps in the southern coal<o:p></o:p>
field and of talking individually with practically all of the<o:p></o:p>
representatives, except those who were away; having visited in your<o:p></o:p>
homes, met many of your wives and children, we meet here not as<o:p></o:p>
strangers, but as friends, and it is in that spirit of mutual friendship<o:p></o:p>
that I am glad to have this opportunity to discuss with you our<o:p></o:p>
common interests.<o:p></o:p>
"Since this is a meeting of the officers of the company and the<o:p></o:p>
representatives of the employees, it is only by your courtesy that I<o:p></o:p>
am here, for I am not so fortunate as to be either one or the other;<o:p></o:p>
and yet I feel that I am intimately associated with you men, for, in a<o:p></o:p>
sense, I represent both the stockholders and the directors."<o:p></o:p>
Isn't that a superb example of the fine art of making friends out of<o:p></o:p>
enemies?<o:p></o:p>
Suppose Rockefeller had taken a different tack. Suppose he had<o:p></o:p>
argued with those miners and hurled devastating facts in their faces.<o:p></o:p>
Suppose he had told them by his tones and insinuations that they<o:p></o:p>
were wrong Suppose that, by all the rules of logic, he had proved<o:p></o:p>
that they were wrong. What would have happened? More anger<o:p></o:p>
would have been stirred up, more hatred, more revolt.<o:p></o:p>
If a man's heart is rankling with discord and ill feeling toward you,<o:p></o:p>
you can't win him to your way of thinking with all the logic in<o:p></o:p>
Christendom. Scolding parents and domineering bosses and<o:p></o:p>
husbands and nagging wives ought to realize that people don't want<o:p></o:p>
to change their minds. They can't he forced or driven to agree with<o:p></o:p>
you or me. But they may possibly be led to, if we are gentle and<o:p></o:p>
friendly, ever so gentle and ever so friendly.<o:p></o:p>
Lincoln said that, in effect, over a hundred years ago. Here are his<o:p></o:p>
words:<o:p></o:p>
It is an old and true maxim that "a drop of honey catches more flies<o:p></o:p>
than a gallon of gall." So with men, if you would win a man to you<o:p></o:p>
cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a<o:p></o:p>
drop of honey that catches his heart; which, say what you will, is the<o:p></o:p>
great high road to his reason.<o:p></o:p>
Business executives have learned that it pays to be friendly to<o:p></o:p>
strikers. For example, when 2,500 employees in the White Motor<o:p></o:p>
Company's plant struck for higher wages and a union shop, Robert F.<o:p></o:p>
Black, then president of the company, didn't lose his temper and<o:p></o:p>
condemn and threaten and talk of tryanny and Communists. He<o:p></o:p>
actually praised the strikers. He published an advertisement in the<o:p></o:p>
Cleveland papers, complimenting them on "the peaceful way in<o:p></o:p>
which they laid down their tools." Finding the strike pickets idle, he<o:p></o:p>
bought them a couple of dozen baseball bats and gloves and invited<o:p></o:p>
them to play ball on vacant lots. For those who preferred bowling, he<o:p></o:p>rented a bowling alley.

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:58:20

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This friendliness on Mr. Black's part did what friendliness always<o:p></o:p>
does: it begot friendliness. So the strikers borrowed brooms, shovels,<o:p></o:p>
and rubbish carts, and began picking up matches, papers, cigarette<o:p></o:p>
stubs, and cigar butts around the factory. Imagine it! Imagine<o:p></o:p>
strikers tidying up the factory grounds while battling for higher<o:p></o:p>
wages and recognition of the union. Such an event had never been<o:p></o:p>
heard of before in the long, tempestuous history of American labor<o:p></o:p>
wars. That strike ended with a compromise settlement within a<o:p></o:p>
week-ended without any ill feeling or rancor.<o:p></o:p>
Daniel Webster, who looked like a god and talked like Jehovah, was<o:p></o:p>
one of the most successful advocates who ever pleaded a case; yet<o:p></o:p>
he ushered in his most powerful arguments with such friendly<o:p></o:p>
remarks as: "It will be for the jury to consider," "This may perhaps<o:p></o:p>
be worth thinking of," " Here are some facts that I trust you will not<o:p></o:p>
lose sight of," or "You, with your knowledge of human nature, will<o:p></o:p>
easily see the significance of these facts." No bulldozing. No highpressure methods. No attempt to force his opinions on others.<o:p></o:p>
Webster used the soft-spoken, quiet, friendly approach, and it helped<o:p></o:p>
to make him famous.<o:p></o:p>
You may never be called upon to settle a strike or address a jury, but<o:p></o:p>
you may want to get your rent reduced. Will the friendly approach<o:p></o:p>
help you then? Let's see.<o:p></o:p>
0. L. Straub, an engineer, wanted to get his rent reduced. And he<o:p></o:p>
knew his landlord was hard-boiled. "I wrote him," Mr. Straub said in<o:p></o:p>
a speech before the class, "notifying him that I was vacating my<o:p></o:p>
apartment as soon as my lease expired. The truth was, I didn't want<o:p></o:p>
to move. I wanted to stay if I could get my rent reduced. But the<o:p></o:p>
situation seemed hopeless. Other tenants had tried - and failed.<o:p></o:p>
Everyone told me that the landlord was extremely difficult to deal<o:p></o:p>
with. But I said to myself, 'I am studying a course in how to deal<o:p></o:p>
with people, so I'll try it on him - and see how it works.'<o:p></o:p>
"He and his secretary came to see me as soon as he got my letter. I<o:p></o:p>
met him at the door with a friendly greeting. I fairly bubbled with<o:p></o:p>
good will and enthusiasm. I didn't begin talking about how high the<o:p></o:p>
rent was. I began talking about how much I liked his apartment<o:p></o:p>
house. Believe me, I was 'hearty in my approbation and lavish in my<o:p></o:p>
praise.' I complimented him on the way he ran the building and told<o:p></o:p>
him I should like so much to stay for another year but I couldn't<o:p></o:p>
afford it.<o:p></o:p>
"He had evidently never had such a reception from a tenant. He<o:p></o:p>
hardly knew what to make of it.<o:p></o:p>
"Then he started to tell me his troubles. Complaining tenants. One<o:p></o:p>
had written him fourteen letters, some of them positively insulting.<o:p></o:p>
Another threatened to break his lease unless the landlord kept the<o:p></o:p>
man on the floor above from snoring. 'What a relief it is,' he said, 'to<o:p></o:p>
have a satisfied tenant like you.' And then, without my even asking<o:p></o:p>
him to do it, he offered to reduce my rent a little. I wanted more, so<o:p></o:p>
I named the figure I could afford to pay, and he accepted without a<o:p></o:p>
word.<o:p></o:p>
"As he was leaving, he turned to me and asked, 'What decorating<o:p></o:p>
can I do for you?'<o:p></o:p>
"If I had tried to get the rent reduced by the methods the other<o:p></o:p>
tenants were using, I am positive I should have met with the same<o:p></o:p>
failure they encountered. It was the friendly, sympathetic,<o:p></o:p>
appreciative approach that won."<o:p></o:p>
Dean Woodcock of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, is the superintendent of<o:p></o:p>
a department of the local electric company. His staff was called upon<o:p></o:p>
to repair some equipment on top of a pole. This type of work had<o:p></o:p>
formerly been performed by a different department and had only<o:p></o:p>
recently been transferred to Woodcock's section Although his people<o:p></o:p>
had been trained in the work, this was the first time they had ever<o:p></o:p>
actually been called upon to do it. Everybody in the organization was<o:p></o:p>
interested in seeing if and how they could handle it. Mr. Woodcock,<o:p></o:p>
several of his subordinate managers, and members of other<o:p></o:p>
departments of the utility went to see the operation. Many cars and<o:p></o:p>
trucks were there, and a number of people were standing around<o:p></o:p>
watching the two lone men on top of the pole.<o:p></o:p>
Glancing around, Woodcock noticed a man up the street getting out<o:p></o:p>
of his car with a camera. He began taking pictures of the scene.<o:p></o:p>
Utility people are extremely conscious of public relations, and<o:p></o:p>
suddenly Woodcock realized what this setup looked like to the man<o:p></o:p>
with the camera - overkill, dozens of people being called out to do a<o:p></o:p>
two-person job. He strolled up the street to the photographer.<o:p></o:p>"I see you're interested in our operation."

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:58:33

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"Yes, and my mother will be more than interested. She owns stock in<o:p></o:p>
your company. This will be an eye-opener for her. She may even<o:p></o:p>
decide her investment was unwise. I've been telling her for years<o:p></o:p>
there's a lot of waste motion in companies like yours. This proves it.<o:p></o:p>
The newspapers might like these pictures, too."<o:p></o:p>
"It does look like it, doesn't it? I'd think the same thing in your<o:p></o:p>
position. But this is a unique situation, . . ." and Dean Woodcock<o:p></o:p>
went on to explain how this was the first job of this type for his<o:p></o:p>
department and how everybody from executives down was<o:p></o:p>
interested. He assured the man that under normal conditions two<o:p></o:p>
people could handle the job. The photographer put away his camera,<o:p></o:p>
shook Woodcock's hand, and thanked him for taking the time to<o:p></o:p>
explain the situation to him.<o:p></o:p>
Dean Woodcock's friendly approach saved his company much<o:p></o:p>
embarrassment and bad publicity.<o:p></o:p>
Another member of one of our classes, Gerald H. Winn of Littleton,<o:p></o:p>
New Hampshire, reported how by using a friendly approach, he<o:p></o:p>
obtained a very satisfactory settlement on a damage claim.<o:p></o:p>
"Early in the spring," he reported, "before the ground had thawed<o:p></o:p>
from the winter freezing, there was an unusually heavy rainstorm<o:p></o:p>
and the water, which normally would have run off to nearby ditches<o:p></o:p>
and storm drains along the road, took a new course onto a building<o:p></o:p>
lot where I had just built a new home.<o:p></o:p>
"Not being able to run off, the water pressure built up around the<o:p></o:p>
foundation of the house. The water forced itself under the concrete<o:p></o:p>
basement floor, causing it to explode, and the basement filled with<o:p></o:p>
water. This ruined the furnace and the hot-water heater. The cost to<o:p></o:p>
repair this damage was in excess of two thousand dollars. I had no<o:p></o:p>
insurance to cover this type of damage.<o:p></o:p>
"However, I soon found out that the owner of the subdivision had<o:p></o:p>
neglected to put in a storm drain near the house which could have<o:p></o:p>
prevented this problem I made an appointment to see him. During<o:p></o:p>
the twenty-five-mile trip to his office, I carefully reviewed the<o:p></o:p>
situation and, remembering the principles I learned in this course, I<o:p></o:p>
decided that showing my anger would not serve any worthwhile<o:p></o:p>
purpose, When I arrived, I kept very calm and started by talking<o:p></o:p>
about his recent vacation to the West Indies; then, when I felt the<o:p></o:p>
timing was right, I mentioned the 'little' problem of water damage.<o:p></o:p>
He quickly agreed to do his share in helping to correct the problem.<o:p></o:p>
"A few days later he called and said he would pay for the damage<o:p></o:p>
and also put in a storm drain to prevent the same thing from<o:p></o:p>
happening in the future.<o:p></o:p>
"Even though it was the fault of the owner of the subdivision, if I had<o:p></o:p>
not begun in a friendly way, there would have been a great deal of<o:p></o:p>
difficulty in getting him to agree to the total liability."<o:p></o:p>
Years ago, when I was a barefoot boy walking through the woods to<o:p></o:p>
a country school out in northwest Missouri, I read a fable about the<o:p></o:p>
sun and the wind. They quarreled about which was the stronger, and<o:p></o:p>
the wind said, "I'll prove I am. See the old man down there with a<o:p></o:p>
coat? I bet I can get his coat off him quicker than you can."<o:p></o:p>
So the sun went behind a cloud, and the wind blew until it was<o:p></o:p>
almost a tornado, but the harder it blew, the tighter the old man<o:p></o:p>
clutched his coat to him.<o:p></o:p>
Finally, the wind calmed down and gave up, and then the sun came<o:p></o:p>
out from behind the clouds and smiled kindly on the old man.<o:p></o:p>
Presently, he mopped his brow and pulled off his coat. The sun then<o:p></o:p>
told the wind that gentleness and friendliness were always stronger<o:p></o:p>
than fury and force.<o:p></o:p>
The use of gentleness and friendliness is demonstrated day after day<o:p></o:p>
by people who have learned that a drop of honey catches more flies<o:p></o:p>
than a gallon of gall. F. Gale Connor of Lutherville, Maryland, proved<o:p></o:p>
this when he had to take his four-month-old car to the service<o:p></o:p>
department of the car dealer for the third time. He told our class: "It<o:p></o:p>
was apparent that talking to, reasoning with or shouting at the<o:p></o:p>
service manager was not going to lead to a satisfactory resolution of<o:p></o:p>
my problems.<o:p></o:p>
"I walked over to the showroom and asked to see the agency owner,<o:p></o:p>
Mr. White. After a short wait, I was ushered into Mr. White's office. I<o:p></o:p>
introduced myself and explained to him that I had bought my car<o:p></o:p>
from his dealership because of the recommendations of friends who<o:p></o:p>
had had previous dealings with him. I was told that his prices were<o:p></o:p>
very competitive and his service was outstanding. He smiled with<o:p></o:p>
satisfaction as he listened to me. I then explained the problem I was<o:p></o:p>
having with the service department. 'I thought you might want to be<o:p></o:p>
aware of any situation that might tarnish your fine reputation,' I<o:p></o:p>
added. He thanked me for calling this to his attention and assured<o:p></o:p>
me that my problem would be taken care of. Not only did he<o:p></o:p>
personal get involved, but he also lent me his car to use while mine<o:p></o:p>
was being repaired."<o:p></o:p>
Aesop was a Greek slave who lived at the court of Croesus and spun<o:p></o:p>
immortal fables six hundred years before Christ. Yet the truths he<o:p></o:p>
taught about human nature are just as true in Boston and<o:p></o:p>
Birmingham now as they were twenty-six centuries ago in Athens.<o:p></o:p>
The sun can make you take off your coat more quickly than the<o:p></o:p>
wind; and kindliness, the friendly approach and appreciation can<o:p></o:p>
make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster<o:p></o:p>
and storming in the world.<o:p></o:p>
Remember what Lincoln said: "A drop of honey catches more flies<o:p></o:p>
than a gallon of gall."<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 4 - Begin in a friendly way.<o:p></o:p>~~~~~~~

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:58:54

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5 - The Secret Of Socrates<o:p></o:p>
In talking with people, don't begin by discussing the things on which<o:p></o:p>
you differ. Begin by emphasizing - and keep on emphasizing - the<o:p></o:p>
things on which you agree. Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you<o:p></o:p>
are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is<o:p></o:p>
one of method and not of purpose.<o:p></o:p>
Get the other person saying "Yes, yes" at the outset. Keep your<o:p></o:p>
opponent, if possible, from saying "No." A "No" response, according<o:p></o:p>
to Professor Overstreet, (*) is a most difficult handicap to overcome.<o:p></o:p>
When you have said "No," all your pride of personality demands that<o:p></o:p>
you remain consistent with yourself. You may later feel that the "No"<o:p></o:p>
was ill-advised; nevertheless, there is your precious pride to<o:p></o:p>
consider! Once having said a thing, you feel you must stick to it.<o:p></o:p>
Hence it is of the very greatest importance that a person be started<o:p></o:p>
in the affirmative direction.<o:p></o:p>
----<o:p></o:p>
[*] Harry A. Overstreet, lnfluencing Humun Behavior (New York:<o:p></o:p>
Norton, 1925).<o:p></o:p>
----<o:p></o:p>
The skillful speaker gets, at the outset, a number of "Yes" responses.<o:p></o:p>
This sets the psychological process of the listeners moving in the<o:p></o:p>
affirmative direction. It is like the movement of a billiard ball. Propel<o:p></o:p>
in one direction, and it takes some force to deflect it; far more force<o:p></o:p>
to send it back in the opposite direction.<o:p></o:p>
The psychological patterns here are quite clear. When a person says<o:p></o:p>
"No" and really means it, he or she is doing far more than saying a<o:p></o:p>
word of two letters. The entire organism - glandular, nervous,<o:p></o:p>
muscular -gathers itself together into a condition of rejection. There<o:p></o:p>
is, usually in minute but sometimes in observable degree, a physical<o:p></o:p>
withdrawal or readiness for withdrawal. The whole neuromuscular<o:p></o:p>
system, in short, sets itself on guard against acceptance. When, to<o:p></o:p>
the contrary, a person says "Yes," none of the withdrawal activities<o:p></o:p>
takes place. The organism is in a forward - moving, accepting, open<o:p></o:p>
attitude. Hence the more "Yeses" we can, at the very outset, induce,<o:p></o:p>
the more likely we are to succeed in capturing the attention for our<o:p></o:p>
ultimate proposal.<o:p></o:p>
It is a very simple technique - this yes response. And yet, how much<o:p></o:p>
it is neglected! It often seems as if people get a sense of their own<o:p></o:p>
importance by antagonizing others at the outset.<o:p></o:p>
Get a student to say "No" at the beginning, or a customer, child,<o:p></o:p>
husband, or wife, and it takes the wisdom and the patience of angels<o:p></o:p>
to transform that bristling negative into an affirmative.<o:p></o:p>
The use of this "yes, yes" technique enabled James Eberson, who<o:p></o:p>
was a teller in the Greenwich Savings Bank, in New York City, to<o:p></o:p>
secure a prospective customer who might otherwise have been lost.<o:p></o:p>
"This man came in to open an account," said Mr. Eberson, "and I<o:p></o:p>
gave him our usual form to fill out. Some of the questions he<o:p></o:p>
answered willingly, but there were others he flatly refused to answer.<o:p></o:p>
"Before I began the study of human relations, I would have told this<o:p></o:p>
prospective depositor that if he refused to give the bank this<o:p></o:p>
information, we should have to refuse to accept this account. I am<o:p></o:p>
ashamed that I have been guilty of doing that very thing in the past.<o:p></o:p>
Naturally, an ultimatum like that made me feel good. I had shown<o:p></o:p>
who was boss, that the bank's rules and regulations couldn't be<o:p></o:p>
flouted. But that sort of attitude certainly didn't give a feeling of<o:p></o:p>
welcome and importance to the man who had walked in to give us<o:p></o:p>
his patronage.<o:p></o:p>
"I resolved this morning to use a little horse sense. I resolved not to<o:p></o:p>
talk about what the bank wanted but about what the customer<o:p></o:p>
wanted. And above all else, I was determined to get him saying 'yes,<o:p></o:p>
yes' from the very start. So I agreed with him. I told him the<o:p></o:p>
information he refused to give was not absolutely necessary.<o:p></o:p>
" 'However,' I said, 'suppose you have money in this bank at your<o:p></o:p>
death. Wouldn't you like to have the bank transfer it to your next of<o:p></o:p>kin, who is entitled to it according to law?'

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:59:09

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" 'Yes, of course,' he replied.<o:p></o:p>
" 'Don't you think,' I continued, 'that it would be a good idea to give<o:p></o:p>
us the name of your next of kin so that, in the event of your death,<o:p></o:p>
we could carry out your wishes without error or delay?'<o:p></o:p>
"Again he said, 'Yes.'<o:p></o:p>
"The young man's attitude softened and changed when he realized<o:p></o:p>
that we weren't asking for this information for our sake but for his<o:p></o:p>
sake. Before leaving the bank, this young man not only gave me<o:p></o:p>
complete information about himself but he opened, at my<o:p></o:p>
suggestion, a trust account, naming his mother as the beneficiary for<o:p></o:p>
his account, and he had gladly answered all the questions concerning<o:p></o:p>
his mother also.<o:p></o:p>
"I found that by getting him to say 'yes, yes' from the outset, he<o:p></o:p>
forgot the issue at stake and was happy to do all the things I<o:p></o:p>
suggested."<o:p></o:p>
Joseph Allison, a sales representative for Westinghouse Electric<o:p></o:p>
Company, had this story to tell: "There was a man in my territory<o:p></o:p>
that our company was most eager to sell to. My predecessor had<o:p></o:p>
called on him for ten years without selling anything When I took over<o:p></o:p>
the territory, I called steadily for three years without getting an<o:p></o:p>
order. Finally, after thirteen years of calls and sales talk, we sold him<o:p></o:p>
a few motors. If these proved to be all right, an order for several<o:p></o:p>
hundred more would follow. Such was my expectation,<o:p></o:p>
"Right? I knew they would be all right. So when I called three weeks<o:p></o:p>
later, I was in high spirits.<o:p></o:p>
"The chief engineer greeted me with this shocking announcement:<o:p></o:p>
'Allison, I can't buy the remainder of the motors from you.'<o:p></o:p>
" 'Why?' I asked in amazement. 'Why?'<o:p></o:p>
" 'Because your motors are too hot. I can't put my hand on them,'<o:p></o:p>
"I knew it wouldn't do any good to argue. I had tried that sort of<o:p></o:p>
thing too long. So I thought of getting the 'yes, yes' response.<o:p></o:p>
" 'Well, now look, Mr. Smith,' I said. 'I agree with you a hundred<o:p></o:p>
percent; if those motors are running too hot, you ought not to buy<o:p></o:p>
any more of them. You must have motors that won't run any hotter<o:p></o:p>
than standards set by the National Electrical Manufacturers<o:p></o:p>
Association. Isn't that so?'<o:p></o:p>
"He agreed it was. I had gotten my first 'yes.'<o:p></o:p>
" 'The Electrical Manufacturers Association regulations say that a<o:p></o:p>
properly designed motor may have a temperature of 72 degrees<o:p></o:p>
Fahrenheit above room temperature. Is that correct?'<o:p></o:p>
" 'Yes,' he agreed. 'That's quite correct. But your motors are much<o:p></o:p>
hotter.'<o:p></o:p>
"I didn't argue with him. I merely asked: 'How hot is the mill room?'<o:p></o:p>
" 'Oh,' he said, 'about 75 degrees Fahrenheit.'<o:p></o:p>
" 'Well,' I replied, 'if the mill room is 75 degrees and you add 72 to<o:p></o:p>
that, that makes a total of 147 degrees Fahrenheit. Wouldn't you<o:p></o:p>
scald your hand if you held it under a spigot of hot water at a<o:p></o:p>
temperature of 147 degrees Fahrenheit?'<o:p></o:p>
"Again he had to say 'yes.'<o:p></o:p>
" 'Well,' I suggested, 'wouldn't it he a good idea to keep your hands<o:p></o:p>
off those motors?'<o:p></o:p>
" 'Well, I guess you're right,' he admitted. We continued to chat for a<o:p></o:p>
while. Then he called his secretary and lined up approximately<o:p></o:p>
$35,000 worth of business for the ensuing month.<o:p></o:p>
"It took me years and cost me countless thousands of dollars in lost<o:p></o:p>
business before I finally learned that it doesn't pay to argue, that it is<o:p></o:p>
much more profitable and much more interesting to look at things<o:p></o:p>
from the other person's viewpoint and try to get that person saying<o:p></o:p>
'yes, yes.' "<o:p></o:p>
Eddie Snow, who sponsors our courses in Oakland, California, tells<o:p></o:p>
how he became a good customer of a shop because the proprietor<o:p></o:p>
got him to say "yes, yes." Eddie had become interested in bow<o:p></o:p>
hunting and had spent considerable money in purchasing equipment<o:p></o:p>
and supplies from a local bow store. When his brother was visiting<o:p></o:p>
him he wanted to rent a bow for him from this store. The sales clerk<o:p></o:p>
told him they didn't rent bows, so Eddie phoned another bow store.<o:p></o:p>
Eddie described what happened:<o:p></o:p>
"A very pleasant gentleman answered the phone. His response to my<o:p></o:p>
question for a rental was completely different from the other place.<o:p></o:p>
He said he was sorry but they no longer rented bows because they<o:p></o:p>
couldn't afford to do so. He then asked me if I had rented before. I<o:p></o:p>
replied, 'Yes, several years ago.' He reminded me that I probably<o:p></o:p>
paid $25 to $30 for the rental. I said 'yes' again. He then asked if I<o:p></o:p>
was the kind of person who liked to save money. Naturally, I<o:p></o:p>
answered 'yes.' He went on to explain that they had bow sets with all<o:p></o:p>
the necessary equipment on sale for $34.95. I could buy a complete<o:p></o:p>
set for only $4.95 more than I could rent one. He explained that is<o:p></o:p>
why they had discontinued renting them. Did I think that was<o:p></o:p>
reasonable? My 'yes' response led to a purchase of the set, and<o:p></o:p>
when I picked it up I purchased several more items at this shop and<o:p></o:p>have since become a regular customer."

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:59:23

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p> </o:p>
Socrates, "the gadfly of Athens," was one of the greatest<o:p></o:p>
philosophers the world has ever known. He did something that only a<o:p></o:p>
handful of men in all history have been able to do: he sharply<o:p></o:p>
changed the whole course of human thought; and now, twenty-four<o:p></o:p>
centuries after his death, he is honored as one of the wisest<o:p></o:p>
persuaders who ever influenced this wrangling world.<o:p></o:p>
His method? Did he tell people they were wrong? Oh, no, not<o:p></o:p>
Socrates. He was far too adroit for that. His whole technique, now<o:p></o:p>
called the "Socratic method," was based upon getting a "yes, yes"<o:p></o:p>
response. He asked questions with which his opponent would have<o:p></o:p>
to agree. He kept on winning one admission after another until he<o:p></o:p>
had an armful of yeses. He kept on asking questions until finally,<o:p></o:p>
almost without realizing it, his opponents found themselves<o:p></o:p>
embracing a conclusion they would have bitterly denied a few<o:p></o:p>
minutes previously.<o:p></o:p>
The next time we are tempted to tell someone he or she is wrong,<o:p></o:p>
let's remember old Socrates and ask a gentle question - a question<o:p></o:p>
that will get the "yes, yes" response.<o:p></o:p>
The Chinese have a proverb pregnant with the age-old wisdom of<o:p></o:p>
the Orient: "He who treads softly goes far."<o:p></o:p>
They have spent five thousand years studying human nature, those<o:p></o:p>
cultured Chinese, and they have garnered a lot of perspicacity: "He<o:p></o:p>
who treads softly goes far."<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 5 - Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.<o:p></o:p>
~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p>
6 - The Safety Valve In Handling Complaints<o:p></o:p>
Must people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too<o:p></o:p>
much talking themselves. Let the other people talk themselves out.<o:p></o:p>
They know more about their business and problems than you do. So<o:p></o:p>
ask them questions. Let them tell you a few things.<o:p></o:p>
If you disagree with them you may be tempted to interrupt. But<o:p></o:p>
don't. It is dangerous. They won't pay attention to you while they<o:p></o:p>
still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression. So listen<o:p></o:p>
patiently and with an open mind. Be sincere about it. Encourage<o:p></o:p>
them to express their ideas fully.<o:p></o:p>
Does this policy pay in business? Let's see. Here is the story of a<o:p></o:p>
sales representative who was forced to try it.<o:p></o:p>
One of the largest automobile manufacturers in the United States<o:p></o:p>
was negotiating for a year's requirements of upholstery fabrics.<o:p></o:p>
Three important manufacturers had worked up fabrics in sample<o:p></o:p>
bodies. These had all been inspected by the executives of the motor<o:p></o:p>
company, and notice had been sent to each manufacturer saying<o:p></o:p>
that, on a certain day, a representative from each supplier would be<o:p></o:p>
given an opportunity to make a final plea for the contract.<o:p></o:p>
G.B.R., a representative of one manufacturer, arrived in town with a<o:p></o:p>
severe attack of laryngitis. "When it came my turn to meet the<o:p></o:p>
executives in conference," Mr. R---- said as he related the story<o:p></o:p>
before one of my classes, "I had lost my voice. I could hardly<o:p></o:p>
whisper. I was ushered into a room and found myself face to face<o:p></o:p>
with the textile engineer, the purchasing agent, the director of sales<o:p></o:p>
and the president of the company. I stood up and made a valiant<o:p></o:p>
effort to speak, but I couldn't do anything more than squeak.<o:p></o:p>
"They were all seated around a table, so I wrote on a pad of paper:<o:p></o:p>
'Gentlemen, I have lost my voice. I am speechless.'<o:p></o:p>
" 'I'll do the talking for you,' the president said. He did. He exhibited<o:p></o:p>
my samples and praised their good points. A lively discussion arose<o:p></o:p>
about the merits of my goods. And the president, since he was<o:p></o:p>
talking for me, took the position I would have had during the<o:p></o:p>
discussion My sole participation consisted of smiles, nods and a few<o:p></o:p>
gestures.<o:p></o:p>
"As a result of this unique conference, I was awarded the contract,<o:p></o:p>
which called for over half a million yards of upholstery fabrics at an<o:p></o:p>
aggregate value of $1,600,000 -the biggest order I had ever<o:p></o:p>received.

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:59:42

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:59:59

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p> </o:p>
"Being a small brokerage firm, we had no fringe benefits, such as<o:p></o:p>
hospitalization, medical insurance and pensions. Every representative<o:p></o:p>
is an independent agent. We don't even provide leads for prospects,<o:p></o:p>
as we cannot advertise for them as our larger competitors do.<o:p></o:p>
"Richard Pryor had the type of experience we wanted for this<o:p></o:p>
position, and he was interviewed first by my assistant, who told him<o:p></o:p>
about all the negatives related to this job. He seemed slightly<o:p></o:p>
discouraged when he came into my office. I mentioned the one<o:p></o:p>
benefit of being associated with my firm, that of being an<o:p></o:p>
independent contractor and therefore virtually being self-employed.<o:p></o:p>
"As he talked about these advantages to me, he talked himself out of<o:p></o:p>
each negative thought he had when he came in for the interview.<o:p></o:p>
Several times it seemed as though he was half talking to himself as<o:p></o:p>
he was thinking through each thought. At times I was tempted to<o:p></o:p>
add to his thoughts; however, as the interview came to a close I felt<o:p></o:p>
he had convinced himself, very much on his own, that he would like<o:p></o:p>
to work for my firm.<o:p></o:p>
"Because I had been a good listener and let Dick do most of the<o:p></o:p>
talking, he was able to weigh both sides fairly in his mind, and he<o:p></o:p>
came to the positive conclusion, which was a challenge he created<o:p></o:p>
for himself. We hired him and he has been an outstanding<o:p></o:p>
representative for our firm,"<o:p></o:p>
Even our friends would much rather talk to us about their<o:p></o:p>
achievements than listen to us boast about ours. <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:PersonName w:st="on" ProductID="La Rochefoucauld">La Rochefoucauld</st1:PersonName>,<o:p></o:p>
the French philosopher, said: "If you want enemies, excel your<o:p></o:p>
friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you."<o:p></o:p>
Why is that true? Because when our friends excel us, they feel<o:p></o:p>
important; but when we excel them, they - or at least some of them<o:p></o:p>
- will feel inferior and envious.<o:p></o:p>
By far the best-liked placement counselor in the Mid-town Personnel<o:p></o:p>
Agency in New York City was Henrietta G ---- It hadn't always been<o:p></o:p>
that way. During the first few months of her association with the<o:p></o:p>
agency, Henrietta didn't have a single friend among her colleagues.<o:p></o:p>
Why? Because every day she would brag about the placements she<o:p></o:p>
had made, the new accounts she had opened, and anything else she<o:p></o:p>
had accomplished.<o:p></o:p>
"I was good at my work and proud of it," Henrietta told one of our<o:p></o:p>
classes. " But instead of my colleagues sharing my triumphs, they<o:p></o:p>
seemed to resent them. I wanted to be liked by these people. I really<o:p></o:p>
wanted them to be my friends. After listening to some of the<o:p></o:p>
suggestions made in this course, I started to talk about myself less<o:p></o:p>
and listen more to my associates. They also had things to boast<o:p></o:p>
about and were more excited about telling me about their<o:p></o:p>
accomplishments than about listening to my boasting. Now, when we<o:p></o:p>
have some time to chat, I ask them to share their joys with me, and<o:p></o:p>
I only mention my achievements when they ask."<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 6 Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.<o:p></o:p>
~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p>
7 - How To Get Cooperation<o:p></o:p>
Don't you have much more faith in ideas that you discover for<o:p></o:p>
yourself than in ideas that are handed to you on a silver platter? If<o:p></o:p>
so, isn't it bad judgment to try to ram your opinions down the<o:p></o:p>
throats of other people? Isn't it wiser to make suggestions - and let<o:p></o:p>
the other person think out the conclusion?<o:p></o:p>
Adolph Seltz of Philadelphia, sales manager in an automobile<o:p></o:p>
showroom and a student in one of my courses, suddenly found<o:p></o:p>
himself confronted with the necessity of injecting enthusiasm into a<o:p></o:p>
discouraged and disorganized group of automobile salespeople.<o:p></o:p>
Calling a sales meeting, he urged his people to tell him exactly what<o:p></o:p>
they expected from him. As they talked, he wrote their ideas on the<o:p></o:p>
blackboard. He then said: "I'll give you all these qualities you expect<o:p></o:p>
from me. Now I want you to tell me what I have a right to expect<o:p></o:p>
from you." The replies came quick and fast: loyalty, honesty,<o:p></o:p>
initiative, optimism, teamwork, eight hours a day of enthusiastic<o:p></o:p>
work, The meeting ended with a new courage, a new inspiration -<o:p></o:p>
one salesperson volunteered to work fourteen hours a day - and Mr.<o:p></o:p>
Seltz reported to me that the increase of sales was phenomenal.<o:p></o:p>
"The people had made a sort of moral bargain with me, " said Mr.<o:p></o:p>
Seltz, "and as long as I lived up to my part in it, they were<o:p></o:p>
determined to live up to theirs. Consulting them about their wishes<o:p></o:p>and desires was just the shot in the arm they needed."

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:00:41

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:01:20

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