How To Win Friends And Influence People - 第12页 - 英语 English - 航空论坛_航空翻译_民航英语翻译_飞行翻译

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:06:31

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"Six."<o:p></o:p>
Without another word, Schwab chalked a big figure six on the floor,<o:p></o:p>
and walked away.<o:p></o:p>
When the night shift came in, they saw the "6" and asked what it<o:p></o:p>
meant.<o:p></o:p>
"The big boss was in here today," the day people said. "He asked us<o:p></o:p>
how many heats we made, and we told him six. He chalked it down<o:p></o:p>
on the floor."<o:p></o:p>
The next morning Schwab walked through the mill again. The night<o:p></o:p>
shift had rubbed out "6" and replaced it with a big "7."<o:p></o:p>
When the day shift reported for work the next morning, they saw a<o:p></o:p>
big "7" chalked on the floor. So the night shift thought they were<o:p></o:p>
better than the day shift did they? Well, they would show the night<o:p></o:p>
shift a thing or two. The crew pitched in with enthusiasm, and when<o:p></o:p>
they quit that night, they left behind them an enormous, swaggering<o:p></o:p>
"10." Things were stepping up.<o:p></o:p>
Shortly this mill, which had been lagging way behind in production,<o:p></o:p>
was turning out more work than any other mill in the plant.<o:p></o:p>
The principle?<o:p></o:p>
Let Charles Schwab say it in his own words: "The way to get things<o:p></o:p>
done," say Schwab, "is to stimulate competition. I do not mean in a<o:p></o:p>
sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel."<o:p></o:p>
The desire to excel! The challenge! Throwing down the gauntlet! An<o:p></o:p>
infallible way of appealing to people of spirit.<o:p></o:p>
Without a challenge, Theodore Roosevelt would never have been<o:p></o:p>
President of the United States. The Rough Rider, just back from<o:p></o:p>
Cuba, was picked for governor of New York State. The opposition<o:p></o:p>
discovered he was no longer a legal resident of the state, and<o:p></o:p>
Roosevelt, frightened, wished to withdraw. Then Thomas Collier<o:p></o:p>
Platt, then U.S. Senator from New York, threw down the challenge.<o:p></o:p>
Turning suddenly on Theodore Roosevelt, he cried in a ringing voice:<o:p></o:p>
"Is the hero of San Juan Hill a coward?"<o:p></o:p>
Roosevelt stayed in the fight - and the rest is history. A challenge not<o:p></o:p>
only changed his life; it had a real effect upon the future of his<o:p></o:p>
nation.<o:p></o:p>
"All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go<o:p></o:p>
forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory" was the motto<o:p></o:p>
of the King's Guard in ancient Greece. What greater challenge can be<o:p></o:p>
offered than the opportunity to overcome those fears?<o:p></o:p>
When Al Smith was governor of New York, he was up against it. Sing<o:p></o:p>
Sing, at the time the most notorious pen-itentiary west of Devil's<o:p></o:p>
Island, was without a warden. Scandals had been sweeping through<o:p></o:p>
the pristin walls, scandals and ugly rumors. Smith needed a strong<o:p></o:p>
man to rule Sing Sing - an iron man. But who? He sent for Lewis E.<o:p></o:p>
Lawes of New Hampton.<o:p></o:p>
"How about going up to take charge of Sing Sing?" he said jovially<o:p></o:p>
when Lawes stood before him. "They need a man up there with<o:p></o:p>
experience."<o:p></o:p>
Lawes was flabbergasted. He knew the dangers of Sing Sing. It was<o:p></o:p>
a political appointment, subject to the vagaries of political whims.<o:p></o:p>
Wardens had come and gone - one had lasted only three weeks. He<o:p></o:p>
had a career to consider. Was it worth the risk?<o:p></o:p>
Then Smith, who saw his hesitation, leaned back in his chair and<o:p></o:p>
smiled. "Young fellow," he said, "I don't blame you for being scared.<o:p></o:p>
It's a tough spot. It'll take a big person to go up there and stay."<o:p></o:p>
So Smith was throwing down a challenge, was he? Lawes liked the<o:p></o:p>
idea of attempting a job that called for someone "big."<o:p></o:p>
So he went. And he stayed. He stayed, to become the most famous<o:p></o:p>
warden of his time. His book 20,000 Years in Sing Sing sold into the<o:p></o:p>
hundred of thousands of copies. His broadcasts on the air and his<o:p></o:p>
stories of prison life have inspired dozens of movies. His<o:p></o:p>
"humanizing" of criminals wrought miracles in the way of prison<o:p></o:p>
reform.<o:p></o:p>
"I have never found," said Harvey S. Firestone, founder of the great<o:p></o:p>
Firestone Tire and Rubber Company, "that pay and pay alone would<o:p></o:p>
either bring together or hold good people. I think it was the game<o:p></o:p>itself."

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:06:51

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Frederic Herzberg, one of the great behavorial scientists, concurred.<o:p></o:p>
He studied in depth the work attitudes of thousands of people<o:p></o:p>
ranging from factory workers to senior executives. What do you think<o:p></o:p>
he found to be the most motivating factor - the one facet of the jobs<o:p></o:p>
that was most stimulating? Money? Good working conditions? Fringe<o:p></o:p>
benefits? No - not any of those. The one major factor that motivated<o:p></o:p>
people was the work itself. If the work was exciting and interesting,<o:p></o:p>
the worker looked forward to doing it and was motivated to do a<o:p></o:p>
good job.<o:p></o:p>
That is what every successful person loves: the game. The chance<o:p></o:p>
for self-expression. The chance to prove his or her worth, to excel, to<o:p></o:p>
win. That is what makes foot-races and hog-calling and pie-eating<o:p></o:p>
contests. The desire to excel. The desire for a feeling of importance.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 12 - Throw down a challenge.<o:p></o:p>
In A Nutshell - Win People To Your Way Of Thinking<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 1 The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid<o:p></o:p>
it.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 2 Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say,<o:p></o:p>
"You're wrong."<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 3 If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 4 Begin in a friendly way.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 5 Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 6 Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 7 Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 8 Try honestly to see things from the other person's point<o:p></o:p>
of view.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 9 Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and<o:p></o:p>
desires.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 10 Appeal to the nobler motives.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 11 Dramatize your ideas.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 12 Throw down a challenge.<o:p></o:p>
-----------------------<o:p></o:p>
Part Four - Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving<o:p></o:p>
Offense or Arousing Resentment<o:p></o:p>
1 - If You Must Find Fault, This Is The Way To Begin<o:p></o:p>
A friend of mine was a guest at the White House for a weekend<o:p></o:p>
during the administration of Calvin Coolidge. Drifting into the<o:p></o:p>
President's private office, he heard Coolidge say to one of his<o:p></o:p>
secretaries, "That's a pretty dress you are wearing this morning, and<o:p></o:p>
you are a very attractive young woman."<o:p></o:p>
That was probably the most effusive praise Silent Cal had ever<o:p></o:p>
bestowed upon a secretary in his life. It was so unusual, so<o:p></o:p>
unexpected, that the secretary blushed in confusion. Then Coolidge<o:p></o:p>
said, "Now, don't get stuck up. I just said that to make you feel<o:p></o:p>
good. From now on, I wish you would be a little bit more careful with<o:p></o:p>
your Punctuation."<o:p></o:p>
His method was probably a bit obvious, but the psychology was<o:p></o:p>
superb. It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we<o:p></o:p>
have heard some praise of our good points.<o:p></o:p>
A barber lathers a man before he shaves him; and that is precisely<o:p></o:p>
what McKinley did back in 1896, when he was running for President.<o:p></o:p>
One of the prominent Republicans of that day had written a<o:p></o:p>
campaign speech that he felt was just a trifle better than Cicero and<o:p></o:p>
Patrick Henry and Daniel Webster all rolled into one. With great glee,<o:p></o:p>
this chap read his immortal speech aloud to McKinley. The speech<o:p></o:p>
had its fine points, but it just wouldn't do. It would have raised a<o:p></o:p>
tornado of criticism. McKinley didn't want to hurt the man's feelings.<o:p></o:p>
He must not kill the man's splendid enthusiasm, and yet he had to<o:p></o:p>say "no." Note how adroitly he did it.

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:07:03

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"My friend, that is a splendid speech, a magnificent speech,"<o:p></o:p>
McKinley said. "No one could have prepared a better one. There are<o:p></o:p>
many occasions on which it would be precisely the right thing to say,<o:p></o:p>
but is it quite suitable to this particular occasion? Sound and sober as<o:p></o:p>
it is from your standpoint, I must consider its effect from the party's<o:p></o:p>
standpoint. Now you go home and write a speech along the lines I<o:p></o:p>
indicate, and send me a copy of it."<o:p></o:p>
He did just that. McKinley blue-penciled and helped him rewrite his<o:p></o:p>
second speech, and he became one of the effective speakers of the<o:p></o:p>
campaign.<o:p></o:p>
Here is the second most famous letter that Abraham Lincoln ever<o:p></o:p>
wrote. (His most famous one was written to Mrs. Bixby, expressing<o:p></o:p>
his sorrow for the death of the five sons she had lost in battle.)<o:p></o:p>
Lincoln probably dashed this letter off in five minutes; yet it sold at<o:p></o:p>
public auction in 1926 for twelve thousand dollars, and that, by the<o:p></o:p>
way, was more money than Lincoln was able to save during half a<o:p></o:p>
century of hard work. The letter was written to General Joseph<o:p></o:p>
Hooker on April 26, 1863, during the darkest period of the Civil War.<o:p></o:p>
For eighteen months, Lincoln's generals had been leading the Union<o:p></o:p>
Army from one tragic defeat to another. Nothing but futile, stupid<o:p></o:p>
human butchery. The nation was appalled. Thousands of soldiers<o:p></o:p>
had deserted from the army, and en the Republican members of the<o:p></o:p>
Senate had revolted and wanted to force Lincoln out of the White<o:p></o:p>
House. "We are now on the brink of destruction," Lincoln said. It<o:p></o:p>
appears to me that even the Almighty is against us. I can hardly see<o:p></o:p>
a ray of hope." Such was the black sorrow and chaos out of which<o:p></o:p>
this letter came.<o:p></o:p>
I am printing the letter here because it shows how Lincoln tried to<o:p></o:p>
change an obstreperous general when the very fate of the nation<o:p></o:p>
could have depended upon the general's action.<o:p></o:p>
This is perhaps the sharpest letter Abe Lincoln wrote after he<o:p></o:p>
became President; yet you will note that he praised General Hooker<o:p></o:p>
before he spoke of his grave faults.<o:p></o:p>
Yes, they were grave faults, but Lincoln didn't call them that. Lincoln<o:p></o:p>
was more conservative, more diplomatic. Lincoln wrote: "There are<o:p></o:p>
some things in regard to which I am not quite satisfied with you."<o:p></o:p>
Talk about tact! And diplomacy!<o:p></o:p>
Here is the letter addressed to General Hooker:<o:p></o:p>
I have placed you at the head of the Army of the Potomac. Of<o:p></o:p>
course, I have done this upon what appears to me to be sufficient<o:p></o:p>
reasons, and yet I think it best for you to know that there are some<o:p></o:p>
things in regard to which I am not quite satisfied with you.<o:p></o:p>
I believe you to be a brave and skillful soldier, which, of course, I<o:p></o:p>
like. I also believe you do not mix politics with your profession, in<o:p></o:p>
which you are right. You have confidence in yourself, which is a<o:p></o:p>
valuable if not an indispensable quality.<o:p></o:p>
You are ambitious, which, within reasonable bounds, does good<o:p></o:p>
rather than harm, But I think that during General Burnside's<o:p></o:p>
command of the army you have taken counsel of your ambition and<o:p></o:p>
thwarted him as much as you could, in which you did a great wrong<o:p></o:p>
to the country and to a most meritorious and honorable brother<o:p></o:p>
officer.<o:p></o:p>
I have heard, in such a way as to believe it, of your recently saying<o:p></o:p>
that both the army and the Government needed a dictator. Of<o:p></o:p>
course, it was not for this, but in spite of it, that I have given you<o:p></o:p>
command.<o:p></o:p>
Only those generals who gain successes can set up as dictators.<o:p></o:p>
What I now ask of you is military success and I will risk the<o:p></o:p>dictatorship.

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:07:14

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The Government will support you to the utmost of its ability, which is<o:p></o:p>
neither more nor less than it has done and will do for all<o:p></o:p>
commanders. I much fear that the spirit which you have aided to<o:p></o:p>
infuse into the army, of criticizing their commander and withholding<o:p></o:p>
confidence from him, will now turn upon you. I shall assist you, as<o:p></o:p>
far as I can, to put it down.<o:p></o:p>
Neither you nor Napoleon, if he were alive again, could get any good<o:p></o:p>
out of an army while such spirit prevails in it, and now beware of<o:p></o:p>
rashness. Beware of rashness, but with energy and sleepless<o:p></o:p>
vigilance go forward and give us victories.<o:p></o:p>
You are not a Coolidge, a McKinley or a Lincoln. You want to know<o:p></o:p>
whether this philosophy will operate for you in everyday business<o:p></o:p>
contacts. Will it? Let's see. Let's take the case of W. P. Gaw of the<o:p></o:p>
Wark Company, Philadelphia.<o:p></o:p>
The Wark Company had contracted to build and complete a large<o:p></o:p>
office building in Philadelphia by a certain specified date. Everything<o:p></o:p>
was going along well; the building was almost finished, when<o:p></o:p>
suddenly the sub-contractor making the ornamental bronze work to<o:p></o:p>
go on the exterior of this building declared that he couldn't make<o:p></o:p>
delivery on schedule. What! An entire building held up! Heavy<o:p></o:p>
penalties! Distressing losses! All because of one man!<o:p></o:p>
Long-distance telephone calls. Arguments! Heated conversations! All<o:p></o:p>
in vain. Then Mr. Gaw was sent to New York to beard the bronze lion<o:p></o:p>
in his den.<o:p></o:p>
"Do you know you are the only person in Brooklyn with your name,?"<o:p></o:p>
Mr Gaw asked the president of the subcontracting firm shortly after<o:p></o:p>
they were introduced. The president was surprised. "No, I didn't<o:p></o:p>
know that."<o:p></o:p>
"Well," said Mr. Gaw, "when I got off the train this morning, I looked<o:p></o:p>
in the telephone book to get your address, and you're the only<o:p></o:p>
person in the Brooklyn phone book with your name."<o:p></o:p>
"I never knew that," the subcontractor said. He checked the phone<o:p></o:p>
book with interest. "Well, it's an unusual name," he said proudly. "My<o:p></o:p>
family came from Holland and settled in New York almost two<o:p></o:p>
hundred years ago. " He continued to talk about his family and his<o:p></o:p>
ancestors for several minutes. When he finished that, Mr. Gaw<o:p></o:p>
complimented him on how large a plant he had and compared it<o:p></o:p>
favorably with a number of similar plants he had visited. "It is one of<o:p></o:p>
the cleanest and neatest bronze factories I ever saw," said Gaw.<o:p></o:p>
"I've spent a lifetime building up this business," the subcontractor<o:p></o:p>
said, "and I am rather proud of it. Would you like to take a look<o:p></o:p>
around the factory?"<o:p></o:p>
During this tour of inspection, Mr. Gaw complimented the other man<o:p></o:p>
on his system of fabrication and told him how and why it seemed<o:p></o:p>
superior to those of some of his competitors. Gaw commented on<o:p></o:p>
some unusual machines, and the subcontractor announced that he<o:p></o:p>
himself had invented those machines. He spent considerable time<o:p></o:p>
showing Gaw how they operated and the superior work they turned<o:p></o:p>
out. He insisted on taking his visitor to lunch. So far, mind you, not a<o:p></o:p>
word had been said about the real purpose of Gaw's visit.<o:p></o:p>
After lunch, the subcontractor said, "Now, to get down to business.<o:p></o:p>
Naturally, I know why you're here. I didn't expect that our meeting<o:p></o:p>
would be so enjoyable. You can go back to Philadelphia with my<o:p></o:p>
promise that your material will be fabricated and shipped, even if<o:p></o:p>
other orders have to be delayed."<o:p></o:p>
Mr. Gaw got everything that he wanted without even asking for it.<o:p></o:p>
The material arrived on time, and the building was completed on the<o:p></o:p>
day the completion contract specified.<o:p></o:p>Would this have happened had Mr. Gaw used the hammer-anddynamite method generally employed on such occasions?

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:07:28

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Dorothy Wrublewski, a branch manager of the Fort Monmouth, New<o:p></o:p>
Jersey, Federal Credit Union, reported to one of our classes how she<o:p></o:p>
was able to help one of her employees become more productive.<o:p></o:p>
"We recently hired a young lady as a teller trainee. Her contact with<o:p></o:p>
our customers was very good. She was accurate and efficient in<o:p></o:p>
handling individual transactions. The problem developed at the end<o:p></o:p>
of the day when it was time to balance out.<o:p></o:p>
"The head teller came to me and strongly suggested that I fire this<o:p></o:p>
woman. 'She is holding up everyone else because she is so slow in<o:p></o:p>
balancing out. I've shown her over and over, but she can't get it.<o:p></o:p>
She's got to go.'<o:p></o:p>
"The next day I observed her working quickly and accurately when<o:p></o:p>
handling the normal everyday transactions, and she was very<o:p></o:p>
pleasant with our customers.<o:p></o:p>
"It didn't take long to discover why she had trouble balancing out.<o:p></o:p>
After the office closed, I went over to talk with her. She was<o:p></o:p>
obviously nervous and upset. I praised her for being so friendly and<o:p></o:p>
outgoing with the customers and complimented her for the accuracy<o:p></o:p>
and speed used in that work. I then suggested we review the<o:p></o:p>
procedure we use in balancing the cash drawer. Once she realized I<o:p></o:p>
had confidence in her, she easily followed my suggestions and soon<o:p></o:p>
mastered this function. We have had no problems with her since<o:p></o:p>
then."<o:p></o:p>
Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with<o:p></o:p>
Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling, but the Novocain is painkilling. A leader will use ...<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 1 - Begin with praise and honest appreciation.<o:p></o:p>
~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p>
2 - How To Criticize-And Not Be Hated For It<o:p></o:p>
Charles Schwab was passing through one of his steel mills one day at<o:p></o:p>
noon when he came across some of his employees smoking.<o:p></o:p>
Immediately above their heads was a sign that said "No Smoking."<o:p></o:p>
Did Schwab point to the sign and say, "Can't you read.? Oh, no not<o:p></o:p>
Schwab. He walked over to the men, handed each one a cigar, and<o:p></o:p>
said, "I'll appreciate it, boys, if you will smoke these on the outside."<o:p></o:p>
They knew that he knew that they had broken a rule - and they<o:p></o:p>
admired him because he said nothing about it and gave them a little<o:p></o:p>
present and made them feel important. Couldn't keep from loving a<o:p></o:p>
man like that, could you?<o:p></o:p>
John Wanamaker used the same technique. Wanamaker used to<o:p></o:p>
make a tour of his great store in Philadelphia every day. Once he<o:p></o:p>
saw a customer waiting at a counter. No one was paying the<o:p></o:p>
slightest attention to her. The salespeople? Oh, they were in a<o:p></o:p>
huddle at the far end of the counter laughing and talking among<o:p></o:p>
themselves. Wanamaker didn't say a word. Quietly slipping behind<o:p></o:p>
the counter, he waited on the woman himself and then handed the<o:p></o:p>
purchase to the salespeople to be wrapped as he went on his way.<o:p></o:p>
Public officials are often criticized for not being accessible to their<o:p></o:p>
constituents. They are busy people, and the fault sometimes lies in<o:p></o:p>
overprotective assistants who don't want to overburden their bosses<o:p></o:p>
with too many visitors. Carl Langford, who has been mayor of<o:p></o:p>
Orlando,<o:p></o:p>
Florida, the home of Disney World, for many years, frequently<o:p></o:p>
admonished his staff to allow people to see him. clamed he had an<o:p></o:p>
"open-door" policy; yet the citizens of his community were blocked<o:p></o:p>
by secretaries and administrators when they called.<o:p></o:p>
Finally the mayor found the solution. He removed the door from his<o:p></o:p>
office! His aides got the message, and the mayor has had a truly<o:p></o:p>
open administration since the day his door was symbolically thrown<o:p></o:p>
away.<o:p></o:p>
Simply changing one three-letter word can often spell the difference<o:p></o:p>
between failure and success in changing people without giving<o:p></o:p>
offense or arousing resentment.<o:p></o:p>
Many people begin their criticism with sincere praise followed by the<o:p></o:p>
word "but" and ending with a critical statement. For example, in<o:p></o:p>
trying to change a child's careless attitude toward studies, we might<o:p></o:p>
say, "We're really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this<o:p></o:p>
term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results<o:p></o:p>would have been better."

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:07:51

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In this case, Johnnie might feel encouraged until he heard the word<o:p></o:p>
"but." He might then question the sincerity of the original praise. To<o:p></o:p>
him, the praise seemed only to be a contrived lead-in to a critical<o:p></o:p>
inference of failure. Credibility would be strained, and we probably<o:p></o:p>
would not achieve our objectives of changing Johnnie's attitude<o:p></o:p>
toward his studies.<o:p></o:p>
This could be easily overcome by changing the word "but" to "and."<o:p></o:p>
"We're really proud of you, Johnnie, for raiseing your grades this<o:p></o:p>
term, and by continuing the same conscientious efforts next term,<o:p></o:p>
your algebra grade can be up with all the others."<o:p></o:p>
Now, Johnnie would accept the praise because there was no followup of an inference of failure. We have called his attention to the<o:p></o:p>
behavior we wished to change indirectly and the chances are he will<o:p></o:p>
try to live up to our expectations.<o:p></o:p>
Calling attention to one's mistakes indirectly works wonders with<o:p></o:p>
sensitive people who may resent bitterly any direct criticism. Marge<o:p></o:p>
Jacob of Woonsocket, Rhode Island, told one of our classes how she<o:p></o:p>
convinced some sloppy construction workers to clean up after<o:p></o:p>
themselves when they were building additions to her house.<o:p></o:p>
For the first few days of the work, when Mrs. Jacob returned from<o:p></o:p>
her job, she noticed that the yard was strewn with the cut ends of<o:p></o:p>
lumber. She didn't want to antagonize the builders, because they did<o:p></o:p>
excellent work. So after the workers had gone home, she and her<o:p></o:p>
children picked up and neatly piled all the lumber debris in a corner.<o:p></o:p>
The following morning she called the foreman to one side and said,<o:p></o:p>
"I'm really pleased with the way the front lawn was left last night; it<o:p></o:p>
is nice and clean and does not offend the neighbors." From that day<o:p></o:p>
forward the workers picked up and piled the debris to one side, and<o:p></o:p>
the foreman came in each day seeking approval of the condition the<o:p></o:p>
lawn was left in after a day's work.<o:p></o:p>
One of the major areas of controversy between members of the<o:p></o:p>
army reserves and their regular army trainers is haircuts. The<o:p></o:p>
reservists consider themselves civilians (which they are most of the<o:p></o:p>
time) and resent having to cut their hair short.<o:p></o:p>
Master Sergeant Harley Kaiser of the 542nd USAR School addressed<o:p></o:p>
himself to this problem when he was working with a group of reserve<o:p></o:p>
noncommissioned officers. As an old-time regular-army master<o:p></o:p>
sergeant, he might have been expected to yell at his troops and<o:p></o:p>
threaten them. Instead he chose to make his point indirectly.<o:p></o:p>
"Gentlemen," he started, "you are leaders. You will be most effective<o:p></o:p>
when you lead by example. You must be the example for your men<o:p></o:p>
to follow. You know what the army regulations say about haircuts. I<o:p></o:p>
am going to get my hair cut today, although it is still much shorter<o:p></o:p>
than some of yours. You look at yourself in the mirror, and if you feel<o:p></o:p>
you need a haircut to be a good example, we'll arrange time for you<o:p></o:p>
to visit the post barbership."<o:p></o:p>
The result was predictable. Several of the candidates did look in the<o:p></o:p>
mirror and went to the barbershop that afternoon and received<o:p></o:p>
"regulation" haircuts. Sergeant Kaiser commented the next morning<o:p></o:p>
that he already could see the development of leadership qualities in<o:p></o:p>
some of the members of the squad.<o:p></o:p>
On March 8, 1887, the eloquent Henry Ward Beecher died. The<o:p></o:p>
following Sunday, Lyman Abbott was invited to speak in the pulpit<o:p></o:p>
left silent by Beecher's passing. Eager to do his best, he wrote,<o:p></o:p>
rewrote and polished his sermon with the meticulous care of a<o:p></o:p>
Flaubert. Then he read it to his wife. It was poor - as most written<o:p></o:p>
speeches are. She might have said, if she had had less judgment,<o:p></o:p>
"Lyman, that is terrible. That'll never do. You'll put people to sleep. It<o:p></o:p>
reads like an encyclopedia. You ought to know better than that after<o:p></o:p>
all the years you have been preaching. For heaven's sake, why don't<o:p></o:p>
you talk like a human being? Why don't you act natural? You'll<o:p></o:p>
disgrace yourself if you ever read that stuff."<o:p></o:p>
That's what she might have said. And, if she had, you know what<o:p></o:p>
would have happened. And she knew too. So, she merely remarked<o:p></o:p>
that it would make an excellent article for the North American<o:p></o:p>
Review. In other words, she praised it and at the same time subtly<o:p></o:p>
suggested that it wouldn't do as a speech. Lyman Abbott saw the<o:p></o:p>
point, tore up his carefully prepared manuscript and preached<o:p></o:p>
without even using notes.<o:p></o:p>
An effective way to correct others' mistakes is ...<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 2 - Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.<o:p></o:p>
~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p>3 - Talk About Your Own Mistakes First

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:08:21

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My niece, Josephine Carnegie, had come to New York to be my<o:p></o:p>
secretary. She was nineteen, had graduated from high school three<o:p></o:p>
years previously, and her business experience was a trifle more than<o:p></o:p>
zero. She became one of the most proficient secretaries west of<o:p></o:p>
Suez, but in the beginning, she was - well, susceptible to<o:p></o:p>
improvement. One day when I started to criticize her, I said to<o:p></o:p>
myself: "Just a minute, Dale Carnegie; just a minute. You are twice<o:p></o:p>
as old as Josephine. You have had ten thousand times as much<o:p></o:p>
business experience. How can you possibly expect her to have your<o:p></o:p>
viewpoint, your judgment, your initiative - mediocre though they<o:p></o:p>
may be? And just a minute, Dale, what were you doing at nineteen?<o:p></o:p>
Remember the asinine mistakes and blunders you made? Remember<o:p></o:p>
the time you did this ... and that ... ?"<o:p></o:p>
After thinking the matter over, honestly and impartially, I concluded<o:p></o:p>
that Josephine's batting average at nineteen was better than mine<o:p></o:p>
had been - and that, I'm sorry to confess, isn't paying Josephine<o:p></o:p>
much of a compliment.<o:p></o:p>
So after that, when I wanted to call Josephine's attention to a<o:p></o:p>
mistake, I used to begin by saying, "You have made a mistake,<o:p></o:p>
Josephine, but the Lord knows, it's no worse than many I have<o:p></o:p>
made. You were not born with judgment. That comes only with<o:p></o:p>
experience, and you are better than I was at your age. I have been<o:p></o:p>
guilty of so many stupid, silly things myself, I have very little incliion<o:p></o:p>
to criticize you or anyone. But don't you think it would have been<o:p></o:p>
wiser if you had done so and so?"<o:p></o:p>
It isn't nearly so difficult to listen to a recital of your faults if the<o:p></o:p>
person criticizing begins by humbly admitting that he, too, is far from<o:p></o:p>
impeccable.<o:p></o:p>
E.G. Dillistone, an engineer in Brandon, Manitoba, Canada, was<o:p></o:p>
having problems with his new secretary. Letters he dictated were<o:p></o:p>
coming to his desk for signature with two or three spelling mistakes<o:p></o:p>
per page. Mr. Dillistone reported how he handled this:<o:p></o:p>
"Like many engineers, I have not been noted for my excellent<o:p></o:p>
English or spelling. For years I have kept a little black thumb - index<o:p></o:p>
book for words I had trouble spelling. When it became apparent that<o:p></o:p>
merely pointing out the errors was not going to cause my secretary<o:p></o:p>
to do more proofreading and dictionary work, I resolved to take<o:p></o:p>
another approach. When the next letter came to my attention that<o:p></o:p>
had errors in it, I sat down with the typist and said:<o:p></o:p>
" 'Somehow this word doesn't look right. It's one of the words I<o:p></o:p>
always have had trouble with. That's the reason I started this<o:p></o:p>
spelling book of mine. <o:p></o:p>
Yes, here it is. I'm very conscious of my spelling now because people<o:p></o:p>
do judge us by our letters and misspellings make us look less<o:p></o:p>
professional.<o:p></o:p>
"I don't know whether she copied my system or not, but since that<o:p></o:p>
conversation, her frequency of spelling errors has been significantly<o:p></o:p>
reduced."<o:p></o:p>
The polished Prince Bernhard von Bьlow learned the sharp necessity<o:p></o:p>
of doing this back in 1909. Von Bьlow was then the Imperial<o:p></o:p>
Chancellor of Germany, and on the throne sat Wilhelm II-Wilhelm,<o:p></o:p>
the haughty; Wilhelm the arrogant; Wilhelm, the last of the German<o:p></o:p>
Kaisers, building an army and navy that he boasted could whip their<o:p></o:p>
weight in wildcats<o:p></o:p>
Then an astonishing thing happened. The Kaiser said things,<o:p></o:p>
incredible things, things that rocked the continent and started a<o:p></o:p>
series of explosions heard around the world. To make matters<o:p></o:p>
infinitely worse, the Kaiser made silly, egotistical, absurd<o:p></o:p>
announcements in public, he made them while he was a guest in<o:p></o:p>
England, and he gave his royal permission to have them printed in<o:p></o:p>
the Daily Telegraph. For example, he declared that he was the only<o:p></o:p>
German who felt friendly toward the English; that he was<o:p></o:p>
constructing a navy against the menace of Japan; that he, and he<o:p></o:p>
alone, had saved England from being humbled in the dust by Russia<o:p></o:p>
and France; that it had been his campaign plan that enabled<o:p></o:p>
England's Lord Roberts to defeat the Boers in South Africa; and so<o:p></o:p>
on and on.<o:p></o:p>
No other such amazing words had ever fallen from the lips of a<o:p></o:p>
European king in peacetime within a hundred years. The entire<o:p></o:p>
continent buzzed with the fury of a hornet's nest. England was<o:p></o:p>
incensed. German statesmen were aghast. And in the midst of all<o:p></o:p>
this consternation, the Kaiser became panicky and suggested to<o:p></o:p>
Prince von Bьlow, the Imperial Chancellor, that he take the blame.<o:p></o:p>
Yes, he wanted von Bьlow to announce that it was all his<o:p></o:p>
responsibility, that he had advised his monarch to say these<o:p></o:p>incredible things.

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:08:35

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"But Your Majesty," von Bьlow protested, "it seems to me utterly<o:p></o:p>
impossible that anybody either in Germany or England could suppose<o:p></o:p>
me capable of having advised Your Majesty to say any such thing."<o:p></o:p>
The moment those words were out of von Bьlow's mouth, he<o:p></o:p>
realized he had made a grave mistake. The Kaiser blew up.<o:p></o:p>
"You consider me a donkey," he shouted, "capable of blunders you<o:p></o:p>
yourself could never have committed!"<o:p></o:p>
Von Bьlow's knew that he ought to have praised before he<o:p></o:p>
condemned; but since that was too late, he did the next best thing.<o:p></o:p>
He praised after he had criticized. And it worked a miracle.<o:p></o:p>
"I'm far from suggesting that," he answered respectfully. "Your<o:p></o:p>
Majesty surpasses me in manv respects; not only of course, in naval<o:p></o:p>
and military knowledge but above all, in natural science. I have often<o:p></o:p>
listened in admiration when Your Majesty explained the barometer,<o:p></o:p>
or wireless telegraphy, or the Roentgen rays. I am shamefully<o:p></o:p>
ignorant of all branches of natural science, have no notion of<o:p></o:p>
chemistry or physics, and am quite incapable of explaining the<o:p></o:p>
simplest of natural phenomena. But," von Bьllow continued, "in<o:p></o:p>
compensation, I possess some historical knowledge and perhaps<o:p></o:p>
certain qualities useful in politics, especially in diplomacy."<o:p></o:p>
The Kaiser beamed. Von Bulow had praised him. Von Bьlow had<o:p></o:p>
exalted him and humbled himself. The Kaiser could forgive anything<o:p></o:p>
after that. "Haven't I always told you," he exclaimed with<o:p></o:p>
enthusiasm, "that we complete one another famously? We should<o:p></o:p>
stick together, and we will!"<o:p></o:p>
He shook hands with von Bьlow, not once, but several times. And<o:p></o:p>
later in the day he waxed so enthusiastic that he exclaimed with<o:p></o:p>
doubled fists, "If anyone says anything to me against Prince von<o:p></o:p>
Bьlow, I shall punch him in the nose."<o:p></o:p>
Von Bьlow saved himself in time - but, canny diplomat that he was,<o:p></o:p>
he nevertheless had made one error: he should have begun by<o:p></o:p>
talking about his own shortcomings and Wilhelm's superiority - not<o:p></o:p>
by intimating that the Kaiser was a half-wit in need of a guardian.<o:p></o:p>
If a few sentences humbling oneself and praising the other party can<o:p></o:p>
turn a haughty, insulted Kaiser into a staunch friend, imagine what<o:p></o:p>
humility and praise can do for you and me in our daily contacts.<o:p></o:p>
Rightfully used, they will work veritable miracles in human relations.<o:p></o:p>
Admitting one's own mistakes - even when one hasn't corrected<o:p></o:p>
them - can help convince somebody to change his behavior. This<o:p></o:p>
was illustrated more recently by Clarence Zerhusen of Timonium,<o:p></o:p>
Maryland, when he discovered his fifteen-year-old son was<o:p></o:p>
experimenting with cigarettes.<o:p></o:p>
"Naturally, I didn't want David to smoke," Mr. Zerhusen told us, "but<o:p></o:p>
his mother and I smoked cigarettes; we were giving him a bad<o:p></o:p>
example all the time. I explained to Dave how I started smoking at<o:p></o:p>
about his age and how the nicotine had gotten the best of me and<o:p></o:p>
now it was nearly impossible for me to stop. I reminded him how<o:p></o:p>
irritating my cough was and how he had been after me to give up<o:p></o:p>
cigarettes not many years before.<o:p></o:p>
"I didn't exhort him to stop or make threats or warn him about their<o:p></o:p>
dangers. All I did was point out how I was hooked on cigarettes and<o:p></o:p>
what it had meant to me.<o:p></o:p>
"He thought about it for a while and decided he wouldn't smoke until<o:p></o:p>
he had graduated from high school. As the years went by David<o:p></o:p>
never did start smoking and has no intention of ever doing so.<o:p></o:p>
"As a result of that conversation I made the decision to stop smoking<o:p></o:p>
cigarettes myself, and with the support of my family, I have<o:p></o:p>
succeeded."<o:p></o:p>
A good leader follows this principle:<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 3 - Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the<o:p></o:p>
other person.<o:p></o:p>
~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p>
4 - No One Likes To Take Orders<o:p></o:p>
I once had the pleasure of dining with Miss Ida Tarbell, the dean of<o:p></o:p>
American biographers. When I told her I was writing this book, we<o:p></o:p>
began discussing this all-important subject of getting along with<o:p></o:p>
people, and she told me that while she was writing her biography of<o:p></o:p>
Owen D. Young, she interviewed a man who had sat for three years<o:p></o:p>
in the same office with Mr. Young. This man declared that during all<o:p></o:p>
that time he had never heard Owen D. Young give a direct order to<o:p></o:p>
anyone. He always gave suggestions, not orders. Owen D. Young<o:p></o:p>
never said, for example, "Do this or do that," or "Don't do this or<o:p></o:p>
don't do that." He would say, "You might consider this," or "Do you<o:p></o:p>
think that would work?" Frequently he would say, after he had<o:p></o:p>
dictated a letter, "What do you think of this?" In looking over a letter<o:p></o:p>
of one of his assistants, he would say, "Maybe if we were to phrase it<o:p></o:p>
this way it would be better." He always gave people the opportunity<o:p></o:p>
to do things themselves; he never told his assistants to do things; he<o:p></o:p>let them do them, let them learn from their mistakes.

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:08:52

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A technique like that makes it easy for a person to correct errors. A<o:p></o:p>
technique like that saves a person's pride and gives him or her a<o:p></o:p>
feeling of importance. It encourages cooperation instead of rebellion.<o:p></o:p>
Resentment caused by a brash order may last a long time -even if<o:p></o:p>
the order was given to correct an obviously bad situation. Dan<o:p></o:p>
Santarelli, a teacher at a vocational school in Wyoming,<o:p></o:p>
Pennsylvania, told one of our classes how one of his students had<o:p></o:p>
blocked the entrance way to one of the school's shops by illegally<o:p></o:p>
parking his car in it. One of the other instructors stormed into the<o:p></o:p>
classroom and asked in an arrogant tone, "Whose car is blocking the<o:p></o:p>
driveway?" When the student who owned the car responded, the<o:p></o:p>
instructor screamed: "Move that car and move it right now, or I'll<o:p></o:p>
wrap a chain around it and drag it out of there."<o:p></o:p>
Now that student was wrong. The car should not have been parked<o:p></o:p>
there. But from that day on, not only did that student resent the<o:p></o:p>
instructor's action, but all the students in the class did everything<o:p></o:p>
they could to give the instructor a hard time and make his job<o:p></o:p>
unpleasant.<o:p></o:p>
How could he have handled it differently? If he had asked in a<o:p></o:p>
friendly way, "Whose car is in the driveway?" and then suggested<o:p></o:p>
that if it were moved, other cars could get in and out, the student<o:p></o:p>
would have gladly moved it and neither he nor his classmates would<o:p></o:p>
have been upset and resentful.<o:p></o:p>
Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable; it often<o:p></o:p>
stimulates the creativity of the persons whom you ask. People are<o:p></o:p>
more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision<o:p></o:p>
that caused the order to be issued.<o:p></o:p>
When Ian Macdonald of Johannesburg, South Africa, the general<o:p></o:p>
manager of a small manufacturing plant specializing in precision<o:p></o:p>
machine parts, had the opportunity to accept a very large order, he<o:p></o:p>
was convinced that he would not meet the promised delivery date.<o:p></o:p>
The work already scheduled in the shop and the short completion<o:p></o:p>
time needed for this order made it seem impossible for him to accept<o:p></o:p>
the order.<o:p></o:p>
Instead of pushing his people to accelerate their work and rush the<o:p></o:p>
order through, he called everybody together, explained the situation<o:p></o:p>
to them, and told them how much it would mean to the company<o:p></o:p>
and to them if they could make it possible to produce the order on<o:p></o:p>
time. Then he started asking questions:<o:p></o:p>
"Is there anything we can do to handle this order?"<o:p></o:p>
"Can anyone think of different ways to process it through the shop<o:p></o:p>
that will make it possible to take the order?"<o:p></o:p>
"Is there any way to adjust our hours or personnel assignments that<o:p></o:p>
would help?"<o:p></o:p>
The employees came up with many ideas and insisted that he take<o:p></o:p>
the order. They approached it with a "We can do it" attitude, and the<o:p></o:p>
order was accepted, produced and delivered on time.<o:p></o:p>
An effective leader will use ...<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 4 - Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.<o:p></o:p>
~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p>
5 - Let The Other Person Save Face<o:p></o:p>
Years ago the General Electric Company was faced with the delicate<o:p></o:p>
task of removing Charles Steinmetz from the head of a department.<o:p></o:p>
Steinmetz, a genius of the first magnitude when it came to<o:p></o:p>
electricity, was a failure as the head of the calculating department.<o:p></o:p>
Yet the company didn't dare offend the man. He was indispensable -<o:p></o:p>
and highly sensitive. So they gave him a new title. They made him<o:p></o:p>
Consulting Engineer of the General Electric Company - a new title for<o:p></o:p>
work he was already doing -and let someone else head up the<o:p></o:p>
department.<o:p></o:p>
Steinmetz was happy.<o:p></o:p>
So were the officers of G.E. They had gently maneuvered their most<o:p></o:p>
temperamental star, and they had done it without a storm - by<o:p></o:p>
letting him save face.<o:p></o:p>
Letting one save face! How important, how vitally important that is!<o:p></o:p>
And how few of us ever stop to think of it! We ride roughshod over<o:p></o:p>
the feelings of others, getting our own way, finding fault, issuing<o:p></o:p>
threats, criticizing a child or an employee in front of others, without<o:p></o:p>
even considering the hurt to the other person's pride. Whereas a few<o:p></o:p>
minutes' thought, a considerate word or two, a genuine<o:p></o:p>
understanding of the other person's attitude, would go so far toward<o:p></o:p>
alleviating the sting!<o:p></o:p>
Let's remember that the next time we are faced with the distasteful<o:p></o:p>
necessity of discharging or reprimanding an employee.<o:p></o:p>
"Firing employees is not much fun. Getting fired is even less fun."<o:p></o:p>
(I'm quoting now from a letter written me by Marshall A. Granger, a<o:p></o:p>
certified public accountant.) "Our business is mostly seasonal.<o:p></o:p>
Therefore we have to let a lot of people go after the income tax rush<o:p></o:p>is over.

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:09:08

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It's a byword in our profession that no one enjoys wielding the ax.<o:p></o:p>
Consequently, the custom has developed of getting it over as soon<o:p></o:p>
as possible, and usually in the following way: 'Sit down, Mr. Smith.<o:p></o:p>
The season's over, and we don't seem to see any more assignments<o:p></o:p>
for you. Of course, you understood you were only employed for the<o:p></o:p>
busy season anyhow, etc., etc.'<o:p></o:p>
"The effect on these people is one of disappointment and a feeling of<o:p></o:p>
being 'let down.' Most of them are in the accounting field for life, and<o:p></o:p>
they retain no particular love for the firm that drops them so<o:p></o:p>
casually.<o:p></o:p>
"I recently decided to let our seasonal personnel go with a little more<o:p></o:p>
tact and consideration. So I call each one in only after carefully<o:p></o:p>
thinking over his or her work during the winter. And I've said<o:p></o:p>
something like this: 'Mr. Smith, you've done a fine job (if he has).<o:p></o:p>
That time we sent you to Newark, you had a tough assignment. You<o:p></o:p>
were on the spot, but you came through with flying colors, and we<o:p></o:p>
want you to know the firm is proud of you. You've got the stuff -<o:p></o:p>
you're going a long way, wherever you're working. This firm believes<o:p></o:p>
in you, and is rooting for you, and we don't want you to forget it.'<o:p></o:p>
"Effect? The people go away feeling a lot better about being fired.<o:p></o:p>
They don't feel 'let down.' They know if we had work for them, we'd<o:p></o:p>
keep them on. And when we need them again, they come to us with<o:p></o:p>
a keen personal affection."<o:p></o:p>
At one session of our course, two class members discussed the<o:p></o:p>
negative effects of faultfinding versus the positive effects of letting<o:p></o:p>
the other person save face.<o:p></o:p>
Fred Clark of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, told of an incident that<o:p></o:p>
occurred in his company: "At one of our production meetings, a vice<o:p></o:p>
president was asking very pointed questions of one of our production<o:p></o:p>
supervisors regarding a production process. His tone of voice was<o:p></o:p>
aggressive and aimed at pointing out faulty performance on the part<o:p></o:p>
of the supervisor. Not wanting to be embarrassed in front of his<o:p></o:p>
peers, the supervisor was evasive in his responses. This caused the<o:p></o:p>
vice president to lose his temper, berate the supervisor and accuse<o:p></o:p>
him of lying.<o:p></o:p>
"Any working relationship that might have existed prior to this<o:p></o:p>
encounter was destroyed in a few brief moments. This supervisor,<o:p></o:p>
who was basically a good worker, was useless to our company from<o:p></o:p>
that time on. A few months later he left our firm and went to work<o:p></o:p>
for a competitor, where I understand he is doing a fine job."<o:p></o:p>
Another class member, Anna Mazzone, related how a similar incident<o:p></o:p>
had occurred at her job - but what a difference in approach and<o:p></o:p>
results! Ms. Mazzone, a marketing specialist for a food packer, was<o:p></o:p>
given her first major assignment - the test-marketing of a new<o:p></o:p>
product. She told the class: "When the results of the test came in, I<o:p></o:p>
was devastated. I had made a serious error in my planning, and the<o:p></o:p>
entire test had to be done all over again. To make this worse, I had<o:p></o:p>
no time to discuss it with my boss before the meeting in which I was<o:p></o:p>
to make my report on the project.<o:p></o:p>
"When I was called on to give the report, I was shaking with fright. I<o:p></o:p>
had all I could do to keep from breaking down, but I resolved I<o:p></o:p>
would not cry and have all those men make remarks about women<o:p></o:p>
not being able to handle a management job because they are too<o:p></o:p>
emotional. I made my report briefly and stated that due to an error I<o:p></o:p>
would repeat the study before the next meeting. I sat down,<o:p></o:p>
expecting my boss to blow up.<o:p></o:p>
"Instead, he thanked me for my work and remarked that it was not<o:p></o:p>
unusual for a person to make an error on a new project and that he<o:p></o:p>
had confidence that the repeat survey would be accurate and<o:p></o:p>
meaningful to the company. He Assured me, in front of all my<o:p></o:p>
colleagues, that he had faith in me and I knew I had done my best,<o:p></o:p>
and that my lack of experience, not my lack of ability, was the<o:p></o:p>
reason for the failure.<o:p></o:p>
I left that meeting with my head in the air and with the<o:p></o:p>
determination that I would never let that boss of mine down again."<o:p></o:p>
Even if we are right and the other person is definitely wrong, we only<o:p></o:p>
destroy ego by causing someone to lose face. The legendary French<o:p></o:p>
aviation pioneer and author Antoine de Saint-Exupйry wrote: "I have<o:p></o:p>
no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes.<o:p></o:p>
What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of<o:p></o:p>
himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime."<o:p></o:p>
A real leader will always follow ...<o:p></o:p>• Principle 5 - Let the other person save face.

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