How To Win Friends And Influence People - 第5页 - 英语 English - 航空论坛_航空翻译_民航英语翻译_飞行翻译

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:43:30

"The following Sunday at church, after she had reported the results<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
of her assignment, several women with whom she had been studying<o:p></o:p>
came up to me and said, 'That was the most considerate thing I<o:p></o:p>
have ever heard.' It was then I realized the power of appreciation."<o:p></o:p>
Florenz Ziegfeld, the most spectacular producer who ever dazzled<o:p></o:p>
Broadway, gained his reputation by his subtle ability to "glorify the<o:p></o:p>
American girl." Time after time, he took drab little creatures that no<o:p></o:p>
one ever looked at twice and transformed them on the stage into<o:p></o:p>
glamorous visions of mystery and seduction. Knowing the value of<o:p></o:p>
appreciation and confidence, he made women feel beautiful by the<o:p></o:p>
sheer power of his gallantry and consideration. He was practical: he<o:p></o:p>
raised the salary of chorus girls from thirty dollars a week to as high<o:p></o:p>
as one hundred and seventy-five. And he was also chivalrous; on<o:p></o:p>
opening night at the Follies, he sent telegrams to the stars in the<o:p></o:p>
cast, and he deluged every chorus girl in the show with American<o:p></o:p>
Beauty roses.<o:p></o:p>
I once succumbed to the fad of fasting and went for six days and<o:p></o:p>
nights without eating. It wasn't difficult. I was less hungry at the end<o:p></o:p>
of the sixth day than I was at the end of the second. Yet I know, as<o:p></o:p>
you know, people who would think they had committed a crime if<o:p></o:p>
they let their families or employees go for six days without food; but<o:p></o:p>
they will let them go for six days, and six weeks, and sometimes<o:p></o:p>
sixty years without giving them the hearty appreciation that they<o:p></o:p>
crave almost as much as they crave food.<o:p></o:p>
When Alfred Lunt, one of the great actors of his time, played the<o:p></o:p>
leading role in Reunion in Vienna, he said, "There is nothing I need<o:p></o:p>
so much as nourishment for my self-esteem."<o:p></o:p>
We nourish the bodies of our children and friends and employees,<o:p></o:p>
but how seldom do we nourish their selfesteem? We provide them<o:p></o:p>
with roast beef and potatoes to build energy, but we neglect to give<o:p></o:p>
them kind words of appreciation that would sing in their memories<o:p></o:p>
for years like the music of the morning stars.<o:p></o:p>
Paul Harvey, in one of his radio broadcasts, "The Rest of the Story,"<o:p></o:p>
told how showing sincere appreciation can change a person's life. He<o:p></o:p>
reported that years ago a teacher in Detroit asked Stevie Morris to<o:p></o:p>
help her find a mouse that was lost in the classroom. You see, she<o:p></o:p>
appreciated the fact that nature had given Stevie something no one<o:p></o:p>
else in the room had. Nature had given Stevie a remarkable pair of<o:p></o:p>
ears to compensate for his blind eyes. But this was really the first<o:p></o:p>
time Stevie had been shown appreciation for those talented ears.<o:p></o:p>
Now, years later, he says that this act of appreciation was the<o:p></o:p>
beginning of a new life. You see, from that time on he developed his<o:p></o:p>
gift of hearing and went on to become, under the stage name of<o:p></o:p>
Stevie Wonder, one of the great pop singers and and songwriters of<o:p></o:p>
the seventies.*<o:p></o:p>
* Paul Aurandt, Paul Harvey's The Rest of the Story (New York:<o:p></o:p>
Doubleday, 1977). Edited and compiled by Lynne Harvey. Copyright<o:p></o:p>
(c) by Paulynne, Inc.<o:p></o:p>
Some readers are saying right now as they read these lines: "Oh,<o:p></o:p>
phooey! Flattery! Bear oil! I've tried that stuff. It doesn't work - not<o:p></o:p>
with intelligent people."<o:p></o:p>
Of course flattery seldom works with discerning people. It is shallow,<o:p></o:p>
selfish and insincere. It ought to fail and it usually does. True, some<o:p></o:p>
people are so hungry, so thirsty, for appreciation that they will<o:p></o:p>
swallow anything, just as a starving man will eat grass and<o:p></o:p>
fishworms.<o:p></o:p>

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:43:48

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:44:02

Every minister, lecturer and public speaker knows the<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
discouragement of pouring himself or herself out to an audience and<o:p></o:p>
not receiving a single ripple of appreciative comment. What applies<o:p></o:p>
to professionals applies doubly to workers in offices, shops and<o:p></o:p>
factories and our families and friends. In our interpersonal relations<o:p></o:p>
we should never forget that all our associates are human beings and<o:p></o:p>
hunger for appreciation. It is the legal tender that all souls enjoy.<o:p></o:p>
Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily<o:p></o:p>
trips. You will be surprised how they will set small flames of<o:p></o:p>
friendship that will be rose beacons on your next visit.<o:p></o:p>
Pamela Dunham of New Fairfield, Connecticut, had among her<o:p></o:p>
responsibilities on her job the supervision of a janitor who was doing<o:p></o:p>
a very poor job. The other employees would jeer at him and litter the<o:p></o:p>
hallways to show him what a bad job he was doing. It was so bad,<o:p></o:p>
productive time was being lost in the shop.<o:p></o:p>
Without success, Pam tried various ways to motivate this person.<o:p></o:p>
She noticed that occasionally he did a particularly good piece of<o:p></o:p>
work. She made a point to praise him for it in front of the other<o:p></o:p>
people. Each day the job he did all around got better, and pretty<o:p></o:p>
soon he started doing all his work efficiently. Now he does an<o:p></o:p>
excellent job and other people give him appreciation and recognition.<o:p></o:p>
Honest appreciation got results where criticism and ridicule failed.<o:p></o:p>
Hurting people not only does not change them, it is never called for.<o:p></o:p>
There is an old saying that I have cut out and pasted on my mirror<o:p></o:p>
where I cannot help but see it every day:<o:p></o:p>
I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or<o:p></o:p>
any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now.<o:p></o:p>
Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.<o:p></o:p>
Emerson said: "Every man I meet is my superior in some way, In<o:p></o:p>
that, I learn of him."<o:p></o:p>
If that was true of Emerson, isn't it likely to be a thousand times<o:p></o:p>
more true of you and me? Let's cease thinking of our<o:p></o:p>
accomplishments, our wants. Let's try to figure out the other<o:p></o:p>
person's good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere<o:p></o:p>
appreciation. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your<o:p></o:p>
praise," and people will cherish your words and treasure them and<o:p></o:p>
repeat them over a lifetime - repeat them years after you have<o:p></o:p>
forgotten them.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 2 Give honest and sincere appreciation.<o:p></o:p>
~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p>
3 - "He Who Can Do This Has The Whole World With Him. He Who<o:p></o:p>
Cannot Walks A Lonely Way"<o:p></o:p>
I often went fishing up in Maine during the summer. Personally I am<o:p></o:p>
very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some<o:p></o:p>
strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn't<o:p></o:p>
think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I<o:p></o:p>
didn't bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a<o:p></o:p>
worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish and said: "Wouldn't you<o:p></o:p>
like to have that?"<o:p></o:p>
Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?<o:p></o:p>
That is what Lloyd George, Great Britain's Prime Minister during<o:p></o:p>
World War I, did. When someone asked him how he managed to<o:p></o:p>
stay in power after the other wartime leaders - Wilson, Orlando and<o:p></o:p>
Clemenceau - had been forgotten, he replied that if his staying on<o:p></o:p>
top might be attributed to any one thing, it would be to his having<o:p></o:p>
learned that it was necessary to bait the hook to suit the fish .<o:p></o:p>
Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course,<o:p></o:p>
you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in<o:p></o:p>
it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are<o:p></o:p>
interested in what we want.<o:p></o:p>

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:44:20

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:45:26

Andrew Carnegie, the poverty-stricken Scotch lad who started to<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
work at two cents an hour and finally gave away $365 million,<o:p></o:p>
learned early in life that the only way to influence people is to talk in<o:p></o:p>
terms of what the other person wants. He attended school only four<o:p></o:p>
years; yet he learned how to handle people.<o:p></o:p>
To illustrate: His sister-in-law was worried sick over her two boys.<o:p></o:p>
They were at Yale, and they were so busy with their own affairs that<o:p></o:p>
they neglected to write home and paid no attention whatever to their<o:p></o:p>
mother's frantic letters.<o:p></o:p>
Then Carnegie offered to wager a hundred dollars that he could get<o:p></o:p>
an answer by return mail, without even asking for it. Someone called<o:p></o:p>
his bet; so he wrote his nephews a chatty letter, mentioning casually<o:p></o:p>
in a post-script that he was sending each one a five-dollar bill.<o:p></o:p>
He neglected, however, to enclose the money.<o:p></o:p>
Back came replies by return mail thanking "Dear Uncle Andrew" for<o:p></o:p>
his kind note and-you can finish the sentence yourself.<o:p></o:p>
Another example of persuading comes from Stan Novak of Cleveland,<o:p></o:p>
Ohio, a participant in our course. Stan came home from work one<o:p></o:p>
evening to find his youngest son, Tim, kicking and screaming on the<o:p></o:p>
living room floor. He was to start kindergarten the next day and was<o:p></o:p>
protesting that he would not go. Stan's normal reaction would have<o:p></o:p>
been to banish the child to his room and tell him he'd just better<o:p></o:p>
make up his mind to go. He had no choice. But tonight, recognizing<o:p></o:p>
that this would not really help Tim start kindergarten in the best<o:p></o:p>
frame of mind, Stan sat down and thought, "If I were Tim, why<o:p></o:p>
would I be excited about going to kindergarten?" He and his wife<o:p></o:p>
made a list of all the fun things Tim would do such as finger painting,<o:p></o:p>
singing songs, making new friends. Then they put them into action.<o:p></o:p>
"We all started finger-painting on the kitchen table-my wife, Lil, my<o:p></o:p>
other son Bob, and myself, all having fun. Soon Tim was peeping<o:p></o:p>
around the corner. Next he was begging to participate. 'Oh, no! You<o:p></o:p>
have to go to kindergarten first to learn how to finger-paint.' With all<o:p></o:p>
the enthusiasm I could muster I went through the list talking in<o:p></o:p>
terms he could understand-telling him all the fun he would have in<o:p></o:p>
kindergarten. The next morning, I thought I was the first one up. I<o:p></o:p>
went downstairs and found Tim sitting sound asleep in the living<o:p></o:p>
room chair. 'What are you doing here?' I asked. 'I'm waiting to go to<o:p></o:p>
kindergarten. I don't want to be late.' The enthusiasm of our entire<o:p></o:p>
family had aroused in Tim an eager want that no amount of<o:p></o:p>
discussion or threat could have possibly accomplished."<o:p></o:p>
Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something.<o:p></o:p>
Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: "How can I make this<o:p></o:p>
person want to do it?"<o:p></o:p>
That question will stop us from rushing into a situation heedlessly,<o:p></o:p>
with futile chatter about our desires.<o:p></o:p>
At one time I rented the grand ballroom of a certain New York hotel<o:p></o:p>
for twenty nights in each season in order to hold a series of lectures.<o:p></o:p>
At the beginning of one season, I was suddenly informed that I<o:p></o:p>
should have to pay almost three times as much rent as formerly.<o:p></o:p>
This news reached me after the tickets had been printed and<o:p></o:p>
distributed and all announcements had been made.<o:p></o:p>
Naturally, I didn't want to pay the increase, but what was the use of<o:p></o:p>
talking to the hotel about what I wanted? They were interested only<o:p></o:p>
in what they wanted. So a couple of days later I went to see the<o:p></o:p>
manager.<o:p></o:p>
"I was a bit shocked when I got your letter," I said, "but I don't<o:p></o:p>
blame you at all. If I had been in your position, I should probably<o:p></o:p>
have written a similar letter myself. Your duty as the manager of the<o:p></o:p>
hotel is to make all the profit possible. If you don't do that, you will<o:p></o:p>
be fired and you ought to be fired. Now, let's take a piece of paper<o:p></o:p>
and write down the advantages and the disadvantages that will<o:p></o:p>
accrue to you, if you insist on this increase in rent."<o:p></o:p>
Then I took a letterhead and ran a line through the center and<o:p></o:p>
headed one column "Advantages" and the other column<o:p></o:p>
"Disadvantages."<o:p></o:p>
I wrote down under the head "Advantages" these words: "Ballroom<o:p></o:p>
free." Then I went on to say: "You will have the advantage of having<o:p></o:p>
the ballroom free to rent for dances and conventions. That is a big<o:p></o:p>
advantage, for affairs like that will pay you much more than you can<o:p></o:p>
get for a series of lectures. If I tie your ballroom up for twenty nights<o:p></o:p>
during the course of the season, it is sure to mean a loss of some<o:p></o:p>
very profitable business to you.<o:p></o:p>

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:45:43

"Now, let's 'consider the disadvantages. First, instead of increasing<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
your income from me, you are going to decrease it. In fact, you are<o:p></o:p>
going to wipe it out because I cannot pay the rent you are asking. I<o:p></o:p>
shall be forced to hold these lectures at some other place.<o:p></o:p>
"There's another disadvantage to you also. These lectures attract<o:p></o:p>
crowds of educated and cultured people to your hotel. That is good<o:p></o:p>
advertising for you, isn't it? In fact, if you spent five thousand dollars<o:p></o:p>
advertising in the newspapers, you couldn't bring as many people to<o:p></o:p>
look at your hotel as I can bring by these lectures. That is worth a lot<o:p></o:p>
to a hotel, isn't it?"<o:p></o:p>
As I talked, I wrote these two "disadvantages" under the proper<o:p></o:p>
heading, and handed the sheet of paper to the manager, saying: "I<o:p></o:p>
wish you would carefully consider both the advantages and<o:p></o:p>
disadvantages that are going to accrue to you and then give me your<o:p></o:p>
final decision."<o:p></o:p>
I received a letter the next day, informing me that my rent would be<o:p></o:p>
increased only 50 percent instead of 300 percent.<o:p></o:p>
Mind you, I got this reduction without saying a word about what I<o:p></o:p>
wanted. I talked all the time about what the other person wanted<o:p></o:p>
and how he could get it.<o:p></o:p>
Suppose I had done the human, natural thing; suppose I had<o:p></o:p>
stormed into his office and said, "What do you mean by raising my<o:p></o:p>
rent three hundred percent when you know the tickets have been<o:p></o:p>
printed and the announcements made? Three hundred percent!<o:p></o:p>
Ridiculous! Absurd! I won't pay it!"<o:p></o:p>
What would have happened then? An argument would have begun<o:p></o:p>
to steam and boil and sputter - and you know how arguments end.<o:p></o:p>
Even if I had convinced him that he was wrong, his pride would have<o:p></o:p>
made it difficult for him to back down and give in.<o:p></o:p>
Here is one of the best bits of advice ever given about the fine art of<o:p></o:p>
human relationships. "If there is any one secret of success," said<o:p></o:p>
Henry Ford, "it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of<o:p></o:p>
view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your<o:p></o:p>
own."<o:p></o:p>
That is so good, I want to repeat it: "If there is any one secret of<o:p></o:p>
success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view<o:p></o:p>
and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own."<o:p></o:p>
That is so simple, so obvious, that anyone ought to see the truth of it<o:p></o:p>
at a glance; yet 90 percent of the people on this earth ignore it 90<o:p></o:p>
percent of the time.<o:p></o:p>
An example? Look at the letters that come across your desk<o:p></o:p>
tomorrow morning, and you will find that most of them violate this<o:p></o:p>
important canon of common sense. Take this one, a letter written by<o:p></o:p>
the head of the radio department of an advertising agency with<o:p></o:p>
offices scattered across the continent. This letter was sent to the<o:p></o:p>
managers of local radio stations throughout the country. (I have set<o:p></o:p>
down, in brackets, my reactions to each paragraph.)<o:p></o:p>
Mr. John Blank, Blankville, Indiana<o:p></o:p>
Dear Mr. Blank: The ------ company desires to retain its position in<o:p></o:p>
advertising agency leadership in the radio field.<o:p></o:p>
[Who cares what your company desires? I am worried about my own<o:p></o:p>
problems. The bank is foreclosing the mortage on my house, the<o:p></o:p>
bugs are destroying the hollyhocks, the stock market tumbled<o:p></o:p>
yesterday. I missed the eight-fifteen this morning, I wasn't invited to<o:p></o:p>
the Jones's dance last night, the doctor tells me I have high blood<o:p></o:p>
pressure and neuritis and dandruff. And then what happens? I come<o:p></o:p>
down to the office this morning worried, open my mail and here is<o:p></o:p>
some little whippersnapper off in New York yapping about what his<o:p></o:p>
company wants. Bah! If he only realized what sort of impression his<o:p></o:p>
letter makes, he would get out of the advertising business and start<o:p></o:p>
manufacturing sheep dip.]<o:p></o:p>
This agency's national advertising accounts were the bulwark of the<o:p></o:p>
network. Our subsequent clearances of station time have kept us at<o:p></o:p>
the top of agencies year after year.<o:p></o:p>
[You are big and rich and right at the top, are you? So what? I don't<o:p></o:p>
give two whoops in Hades if you are as big as General Motors and<o:p></o:p>
General Electric and the General Staff of the U.S. Army all combined.<o:p></o:p>
If you had as much sense as a half-witted hummingbird, you would<o:p></o:p>
realize that I am interested in how big I am - not how big you are.<o:p></o:p>
All this talk about your enormous success makes me feel small and<o:p></o:p>
unimportant.]<o:p></o:p>

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:45:57

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p> </o:p>
What do you mean, "promptly".? Don't you know I am just as busy<o:p></o:p>
as you are - or, at least, I like to think I am. And while we are on the<o:p></o:p>
subject, who gave you the lordly right to order me around? ... You<o:p></o:p>
say it will be "mutually helpful." At last, at last, you have begun to<o:p></o:p>
see my viewpoint. But you are vague about how it will be to my<o:p></o:p>
advantage.]<o:p></o:p>
Very truly yours, John Doe Manager Radio Department<o:p></o:p>
P.S. The enclosed reprint from the Blankville Journal will be of<o:p></o:p>
interest to you, and you may want to broadcast it over your station.<o:p></o:p>
[Finally, down here in the postscript, you mention something that<o:p></o:p>
may help me solve one of my problems. Why didn't you begin your<o:p></o:p>
letter with - but what's the use? Any advertising man who is guilty of<o:p></o:p>
perpetrating such drivel as you have sent me has something wrong<o:p></o:p>
with his medulla oblongata. You don't need a letter giving our latest<o:p></o:p>
doings. What you need is a quart of iodine in your thyroid gland.]<o:p></o:p>
Now, if people who devote their lives to advertising and who pose as<o:p></o:p>
experts in the art of influencing people to buy - if they write a letter<o:p></o:p>
like that, what can we expect from the butcher and baker or the auto<o:p></o:p>
mechanic?<o:p></o:p>
Here is another letter, written by the superintendent of a large<o:p></o:p>
freight terminal to a student of this course, Edward Vermylen. What<o:p></o:p>
effect did this letter have on the man to whom it was addressed?<o:p></o:p>
Read it and then I'll tell you.<o:p></o:p>
A. Zerega's Sons, Inc. 28 Front St. Brooklyn, N.Y. 11201 Attention:<o:p></o:p>
Mr. Edward Vermylen Gentlemen:<o:p></o:p>
The operations at our outbound-rail-receiving station are<o:p></o:p>
handicapped because a material percentage of the total business is<o:p></o:p>
delivered us in the late afternoon. This condition results in<o:p></o:p>
congestion, overtime on the part of our forces, delays to trucks, and<o:p></o:p>
in some cases delays to freight. On November 10, we received from<o:p></o:p>
your company a lot of 510 pieces, which reached here at 4:20 P.M.<o:p></o:p>
We solicit your cooperation toward overcoming the undesirable<o:p></o:p>
effects arising from late receipt of freight. May we ask that, on days<o:p></o:p>
on which you ship the volume which was received on the above<o:p></o:p>
date, effort be made either to get the truck here earlier or to deliver<o:p></o:p>
us part of the freight during the morning?<o:p></o:p>
The advantage that would accrue to you under such an arrangement<o:p></o:p>
would be that of more expeditious discharge of your trucks and the<o:p></o:p>
assurance that your business would go forward on the date of its<o:p></o:p>
receipt.<o:p></o:p>
Very truly yours, J----- B ----- Supt.<o:p></o:p>
After reading this letter, Mr. Vermylen, sales manager for A. Zerega's<o:p></o:p>
Sons, Inc., sent it to me with the following comment:<o:p></o:p>
This letter had the reverse effect from that which was intended. The<o:p></o:p>
letter begins by describing the Terminal's difficulties, in which we are<o:p></o:p>
not interested, generally speaking. Our cooperation is then requested<o:p></o:p>
without any thought as to whether it would inconvenience us, and<o:p></o:p>
then, finally, in the last paragraph, the fact is mentioned that if we<o:p></o:p>
do cooperate it will mean more expeditious discharge of our trucks<o:p></o:p>
with the assurance that our freight will go forward on the date of its<o:p></o:p>
receipt.<o:p></o:p>
In other words, that in which we are most interested is mentioned<o:p></o:p>
last and the whole effect is one of raising a spirit of antagonism<o:p></o:p>
rather than of cooperation.<o:p></o:p>
Let's see if we can't rewrite and improve this letter. Let's not waste<o:p></o:p>
any time talking about our problems. As Henry Ford admonishes,<o:p></o:p>
let's "get the other person's point of view and see things from his or<o:p></o:p>her angle, as well as from our own."

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:46:11

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p> </o:p>
Here is one way of revising the letter. It may not be the best way,<o:p></o:p>
but isn't it an improvement?<o:p></o:p>
Mr. Edward Vermylen % A. Zerega's Sons, Inc. 28 Front St.<o:p></o:p>
Brooklyn, N.Y. 11201<o:p></o:p>
Dear Mr. Vermylen:<o:p></o:p>
Your company has been one of our good customers for fourteen<o:p></o:p>
years. Naturally, we are very grateful for your patronage and are<o:p></o:p>
eager to give you the speedy, efficient service you deserve.<o:p></o:p>
However, we regret to say that it isn't possible for us to do that<o:p></o:p>
when your trucks bring us a large shipment late in the afternoon, as<o:p></o:p>
they did on November 10. Why? Because many other customers<o:p></o:p>
make late afternoon deliveries also. Naturally, that causes<o:p></o:p>
congestion. That means your trucks are held up unavoidably at the<o:p></o:p>
pier and sometimes even your freight is delayed.<o:p></o:p>
That's bad, but it can be avoided. If you make your deliveries at the<o:p></o:p>
pier in the morning when possible, your trucks will be able to keep<o:p></o:p>
moving, your freight will get immediate attention, and our workers<o:p></o:p>
will get home early at night to enjoy a dinner of the delicious<o:p></o:p>
macaroni and noodles that you manufacture.<o:p></o:p>
Regardless of when your shipments arrive, we shall always cheerfully<o:p></o:p>
do all in our power to serve you promptly. You are busy. Please don't<o:p></o:p>
trouble to answer this note.<o:p></o:p>
Yours truly, J----- B-----, supt.<o:p></o:p>
Barbara Anderson, who worked in a bank in New York, desired to<o:p></o:p>
move to Phoenix, Arizona, because of the health of her son. Using<o:p></o:p>
the principles she had learned in our course, she wrote the following<o:p></o:p>
letter to twelve banks in Phoenix:<o:p></o:p>
Dear Sir:<o:p></o:p>
My ten years of bank experience should be of interest to a rapidly<o:p></o:p>
growing bank like yours.<o:p></o:p>
In various capacities in bank operations with the Bankers Trust<o:p></o:p>
Company in New York, leading to my present assignment as Branch<o:p></o:p>
Manager, I have acquired skills in all phases of banking including<o:p></o:p>
depositor relations, credits, loans and administration.<o:p></o:p>
I will be relocating to Phoenix in May and I am sure I can contribute<o:p></o:p>
to your growth and profit. I will be in Phoenix the week of April 3<o:p></o:p>
and would appreciate the opportunity to show you how I can help<o:p></o:p>
your bank meet its goals.<o:p></o:p>
Sincerely, Barbara L. Anderson<o:p></o:p>
Do you think Mrs. Anderson received any response from that letter?<o:p></o:p>
Eleven of the twelve banks invited her to be interviewed, and she<o:p></o:p>
had a choice of which bank's offer to accept. Why? Mrs. Anderson<o:p></o:p>
did not state what she wanted, but wrote in the letter how she could<o:p></o:p>
help them, and focused on their wants, not her own.<o:p></o:p>
Thousands of salespeople are pounding the pavements today, tired,<o:p></o:p>
discouraged and underpaid. Why? Because they are always thinking<o:p></o:p>
only of what they want. They don't realize that neither you nor I<o:p></o:p>
want to buy anything. If we did, we would go out and buy it. But<o:p></o:p>
both of us are eternally interested in solving our problems. And if<o:p></o:p>
salespeople can show us how their services or merchandise will help<o:p></o:p>
us solve our problems, they won't need to sell us. We'll buy. And<o:p></o:p>
customers like to feel that they are buying - not being sold.<o:p></o:p>
Yet many salespeople spend a lifetime in selling without seeing<o:p></o:p>
things from the customer's angle. For example, for many years I<o:p></o:p>
lived in Forest Hills, a little community of private homes in the center<o:p></o:p>
of Greater New York. One day as I was rushing to the station, I<o:p></o:p>
chanced to meet a real-estate operator who had bought and sold<o:p></o:p>
property in that area for many years. He knew Forest Hills well, so I<o:p></o:p>
hurriedly asked him whether or not my stucco house was built with<o:p></o:p>
metal lath or hollow tile. He said he didn't know and told me what I<o:p></o:p>
already knew - that I could find out by calling the Forest Hills Garden<o:p></o:p>
Association. The following morning, I received a letter from him. Did<o:p></o:p>
he give me the information I wanted? He could have gotten it in<o:p></o:p>
sixty seconds by a telephone call. But he didn't. He told me again<o:p></o:p>
that I could get it by telephoning, and then asked me to let him<o:p></o:p>
handle my insurance.<o:p></o:p>
He was not interested in helping me. He was interested only in<o:p></o:p>
helping himself.<o:p></o:p>
J. Howard Lucas of Birmingham, Alabama, tells how two salespeople<o:p></o:p>
from the same company handled the same type of situation, He<o:p></o:p>reported:

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:46:28

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"Several years ago I was on the management team of a small<o:p></o:p>
company. Headquartered near us was the district office of a large<o:p></o:p>
insurance company. Their agents were assigned territories, and our<o:p></o:p>
company was assigned to two agents, whom I shall refer to as Carl<o:p></o:p>
and John.<o:p></o:p>
"One morning, Carl dropped by our office and casually mentioned<o:p></o:p>
that his company had just introduced a new life insurance policy for<o:p></o:p>
executives and thought we might be interested later on and he<o:p></o:p>
would get back to us when he had more information on it.<o:p></o:p>
"The same day, John saw us on the sidewalk while returning from a<o:p></o:p>
coffee break, and he shouted: 'Hey Luke, hold up, I have some great<o:p></o:p>
news for you fellows.' He hurried over and very excitedly told us<o:p></o:p>
about an executive life insurance policy his company had introduced<o:p></o:p>
that very day. (It was the same policy that Carl had casually<o:p></o:p>
mentioned.) He wanted us to have one of the first issued. He gave<o:p></o:p>
us a few important facts about the coverage and ended saying, 'The<o:p></o:p>
policy is so new, I'm going to have someone from the home office<o:p></o:p>
come out tomorrow and explain it. Now, in the meantime, let's get<o:p></o:p>
the applications signed and on the way so he can have more<o:p></o:p>
information to work with.' His enthusiasm aroused in us an eager<o:p></o:p>
want for this policy even though we still did not have details, When<o:p></o:p>
they were made available to us, they confirmed John's initial<o:p></o:p>
understanding of the policy, and he not only sold each of us a policy,<o:p></o:p>
but later doubled our coverage.<o:p></o:p>
"Carl could have had those sales, but he made no effort to arouse in<o:p></o:p>
us any desire for the policies."<o:p></o:p>
The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the<o:p></o:p>
rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous<o:p></o:p>
advantage. He has little competition. Owen D. Young, a noted lawyer<o:p></o:p>
and one of America's great business leaders, once said: "People who<o:p></o:p>
can put themselves in the place of other people who can understand<o:p></o:p>
the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future<o:p></o:p>
has in store for them."<o:p></o:p>
If out of reading this book you get just one thing - an increased<o:p></o:p>
tendency to think always in terms of other people's point of view,<o:p></o:p>
and see things from their angle - if you get that one thing out of this<o:p></o:p>
book, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your<o:p></o:p>
career.<o:p></o:p>
Looking at the other person's point of view and arousing in him an<o:p></o:p>
eager want for something is not to be construed as manipulating<o:p></o:p>
that person so that he will do something that is only for your benefit<o:p></o:p>
and his detriment. Each party should gain from the negotiation. In<o:p></o:p>
the letters to Mr. Vermylen, both the sender and the receiver of the<o:p></o:p>
correspondence gained by implementing what was suggested. Both<o:p></o:p>
the bank and Mrs. Anderson won by her letter in that the bank<o:p></o:p>
obtained a valuable employee and Mrs. Anderson a suitable job. And<o:p></o:p>
in the example of John's sale of insurance to Mr. Lucas, both gained<o:p></o:p>
through this transaction.<o:p></o:p>
Another example in which everybody gains through this principle of<o:p></o:p>
arousing an eager want comes from Michael E. Whidden of Warwick,<o:p></o:p>
Rhode Island, who is a territory salesman for the Shell Oil Company.<o:p></o:p>
Mike wanted to become the Number One salesperson in his district,<o:p></o:p>
but one service station was holding him back. It was run by an older<o:p></o:p>
man who could not be motivated to clean up his station. It was in<o:p></o:p>
such poor shape that sales were declining significantly.<o:p></o:p>
This manager would not listen to any of Mike's pleas to upgrade the<o:p></o:p>
station. After many exhortations and heart-to-heart talks - all of<o:p></o:p>
which had no impact - Mike decided to invite the manager to visit the<o:p></o:p>newest Shell station in his territory.

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:46:50

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The manager was so impressed by the facilities at the new station<o:p></o:p>
that when Mike visited him the next time, his station was cleaned up<o:p></o:p>
and had recorded a sales increase. This enabled Mike to reach the<o:p></o:p>
Number One spot in his district. All his talking and discussion hadn't<o:p></o:p>
helped, but by arousing an eager want in the manager, by showing<o:p></o:p>
him the modern station, he had accomplished his goal, and both the<o:p></o:p>
manager and Mike benefited.<o:p></o:p>
Most people go through college and learn to read Virgil and master<o:p></o:p>
the mysteries of calculus without ever discovering how their own<o:p></o:p>
minds function. For instance: I once gave a course in Effective<o:p></o:p>
Speaking for the young college graduates who were entering the<o:p></o:p>
employ of the Carrier Corporation, the large air-conditioner<o:p></o:p>
manufacturer. One of the participants wanted to persuade the others<o:p></o:p>
to play basketball in their free time, and this is about what he said:<o:p></o:p>
"I want you to come out and play basketball. I like to play basketball,<o:p></o:p>
but the last few times I've been to the gymnasium there haven't<o:p></o:p>
been enough people to get up a game. Two or three of us got to<o:p></o:p>
throwing the ball around the other night - and I got a black eye. I<o:p></o:p>
wish all of you would come down tomorrow night. I want to play<o:p></o:p>
basketball."<o:p></o:p>
Did he talk about anything you want? You don't want to go to a<o:p></o:p>
gymnasium that no one else goes to, do you? You don't care about<o:p></o:p>
what he wants. You don't want to get a black eye.<o:p></o:p>
Could he have shown you how to get the things you want by using<o:p></o:p>
the gymnasium? Surely. More pep. Keener edge to the appetite.<o:p></o:p>
Clearer brain. Fun. Games. Basketball.<o:p></o:p>
To repeat Professor Overstreet's wise advice: First, arouse in the<o:p></o:p>
other person an eager want He who can do this has the whole world<o:p></o:p>
with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.<o:p></o:p>
One of the students in the author's training course was worried<o:p></o:p>
about his little boy. The child was underweight and refused to eat<o:p></o:p>
properly. His parents used the usual method. They scolded and<o:p></o:p>
nagged. "Mother wants you to eat this and that." "Father wants you<o:p></o:p>
to grow up to be a big man."<o:p></o:p>
Did the boy pay any attention to these pleas? Just about as much as<o:p></o:p>
you pay to one fleck of sand on a sandy beach.<o:p></o:p>
No one with a trace of horse sense would expect a child three years<o:p></o:p>
old to react to the viewpoint of a father thirty years old. Yet that was<o:p></o:p>
precisely what that father had expected. It was absurd. He finally<o:p></o:p>
saw that. So he said to himself: "What does that boy want? How can<o:p></o:p>
I tie up what I want to what he wants?"<o:p></o:p>
It was easy for the father when he starting thinking about it. His boy<o:p></o:p>
had a tricycle that he loved to ride up and down the sidewalk in front<o:p></o:p>
of the house in Brooklyn. A few doors down the street lived a bully -<o:p></o:p>
a bigger boy who would pull the little boy off his tricycle and ride it<o:p></o:p>
himself.<o:p></o:p>
Naturally, the little boy would run screaming to his mother, and she<o:p></o:p>
would have to come out and take the bully off the tricycle and put<o:p></o:p>
her little boy on again, This happened almost every day.<o:p></o:p>
What did the little boy want? It didn't take a Sherlock Holmes to<o:p></o:p>
answer that one. His pride, his anger, his desire for a feeling of<o:p></o:p>
importance - all the strongest emotions in his makeup - goaded him<o:p></o:p>
to get revenge, to smash the bully in the nose. And when his father<o:p></o:p>
explained that the boy would be able to wallop the daylights out of<o:p></o:p>
the bigger kid someday if he would only eat the things his mother<o:p></o:p>
wanted him to eat - when his father promised him that - there was<o:p></o:p>
no longer any problem of dietetics. That boy would have eaten<o:p></o:p>
spinach, sauerkraut, salt mackerel - anything in order to be big<o:p></o:p>
enough to whip the bully who had humiliated him so often.<o:p></o:p>
After solving that problem, the parents tackled another: the little boy<o:p></o:p>
had the unholy habit of wetting his bed.<o:p></o:p>
He slept with his grandmother. In the morning, his grandmother<o:p></o:p>
would wake up and feel the sheet and say: "Look, Johnny, what you<o:p></o:p>did again last night."

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