How To Win Friends And Influence People - 第9页 - 英语 English - 航空论坛_航空翻译_民航英语翻译_飞行翻译

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:55:03

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~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p>
2 - A Sure Way Of Making Enemies -And How To Avoid It<o:p></o:p>
When Theodore Roosevelt was in the White House, he confessed<o:p></o:p>
that if he could be right 75 percent of the time, he would reach the<o:p></o:p>
highest measure of his expectation.<o:p></o:p>
If that was the highest rating that one of the most distinguished men<o:p></o:p>
of the twentieth century could hope to obtain, what about you and<o:p></o:p>
me?<o:p></o:p>
If you can be sure of being right only 55 percent of the time, you can<o:p></o:p>
go down to Wall Street and make a million dollars a day. If you can't<o:p></o:p>
be sure of being right even 55 percent of the time, why should you<o:p></o:p>
tell other people they are wrong?<o:p></o:p>
You can tell people they are wrong by a look or an intonation or a<o:p></o:p>
gesture just as eloquently as you can in words - and if you tell them<o:p></o:p>
they are wrong, do you make them want to agree with you? Never!<o:p></o:p>
For you have struck a direct blow at their intelligence, judgment,<o:p></o:p>
pride and self-respect. That will make them want to strike back. But<o:p></o:p>
it will never make them want to change their minds. You may then<o:p></o:p>
hurl at them all the logic of a Plato or an Immanuel Kant, but you will<o:p></o:p>
not alter their opinions, for you have hurt their feelings.<o:p></o:p>
Never begin by announcing "I am going to prove so-and-so to you."<o:p></o:p>
That's bad. That's tantamount to saying: "I'm smarter than you are,<o:p></o:p>
I'm going to tell you a thing or two and make you change your<o:p></o:p>
mind."<o:p></o:p>
That is a challenge. It arouses opposition and makes the listener<o:p></o:p>
want to battle with you before you even start.<o:p></o:p>
It is difficult, under even the most benign conditions, to change<o:p></o:p>
people's minds. So why make it harder? Why handicap yourself?<o:p></o:p>
If you are going to prove anything, don't let anybody know it. Do it<o:p></o:p>
so subtly, so adroitly, that no one will feel that you are doing it. This<o:p></o:p>
was expressed succinctly by Alexander Pope:<o:p></o:p>
Men must be taught as if you taught them not And things unknown<o:p></o:p>
proposed as things forgot.<o:p></o:p>
Over three hundred years ago Galileo said:<o:p></o:p>
You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it<o:p></o:p>
within himself.<o:p></o:p>
As Lord Chesterfield said to his son:<o:p></o:p>
Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.<o:p></o:p>
Socrates said repeatedly to his followers in Athens:<o:p></o:p>
One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing.<o:p></o:p>
Well, I can't hope to be any smarter than Socrates, so I have quit<o:p></o:p>
telling people they are wrong. And I find that it pays.<o:p></o:p>
If a person makes a statement that you think is wrong - yes, even<o:p></o:p>
that you know is wrong - isn't it better to begin by saying: "Well,<o:p></o:p>
now, look, I thought otherwise, but I may be wrong. I frequently<o:p></o:p>
am. And if I am wrong, I want to be put right. Let's examine the<o:p></o:p>
facts."<o:p></o:p>
There's magic, positive magic, in such phrases as: "I may be wrong.<o:p></o:p>
I frequently am. Let's examine the facts."<o:p></o:p>
Nobody in the heavens above or on earth beneath or in the waters<o:p></o:p>
under the earth will ever object to your saying: "I may be wrong.<o:p></o:p>
Let's examine the facts."<o:p></o:p>
One of our class members who used this approach in dealing with<o:p></o:p>
customers was Harold Reinke, a Dodge dealer in Billings, Montana.<o:p></o:p>
He reported that because of the pressures of the automobile<o:p></o:p>
business, he was often hard-boiled and callous when dealing with<o:p></o:p>
customers' complaints. This caused flared tempers, loss of business<o:p></o:p>
and general unpleasantness.<o:p></o:p>
He told his class: "Recognizing that this was getting me nowhere<o:p></o:p>
fast, I tried a new tack. I would say something like this: 'Our<o:p></o:p>
dealership has made so many mistakes that I am frequently<o:p></o:p>
ashamed. We may have erred in your case. Tell me about it.'<o:p></o:p>
"This approach becomes quite disarming, and by the time the<o:p></o:p>
customer releases his feelings, he is usually much more reasonable<o:p></o:p>
when it comes to settling the matter. In fact, several customers have<o:p></o:p>
thanked me for having such an understanding attitude. And two of<o:p></o:p>
them have even brought in friends to buy new cars. In this highly<o:p></o:p>
competitive market, we need more of this type of customer, and I<o:p></o:p>
believe that showing respect for all customers' opinions and treating<o:p></o:p>
them diplomatically and courteously will help beat the competition."<o:p></o:p>
You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong.<o:p></o:p>
That will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just as<o:p></o:p>
fair and open and broad-minded as you are. It will make him want to<o:p></o:p>admit that he, too, may be wrong.

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:55:17

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:55:31

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:56:04

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Ben, you are impossible. Your opinions have a slap in them for<o:p></o:p>
everyone who differs with you. They have become so offensive that<o:p></o:p>
nobody cares for them. Your friends find they enjoy themselves<o:p></o:p>
better when you are not around. You know so much that no man can<o:p></o:p>
tell you anything. Indeed, no man is going to try, for the effort would<o:p></o:p>
lead only to discomfort and hard work. So you are not likely ever to<o:p></o:p>
know any more than you do now, which is very little.<o:p></o:p>
One of the finest things I know about Ben Franklin is the way he<o:p></o:p>
accepted that smarting rebuke. He was big enough and wise enough<o:p></o:p>
to realize that it was true, to sense that he was headed for failure<o:p></o:p>
and social disaster. So he made a right-about-face. He began<o:p></o:p>
immediately to change his insolent, opinionated ways.<o:p></o:p>
"I made it a rule," said Franklin, "to forbear all direct contradiction to<o:p></o:p>
the sentiment of others, and all positive assertion of my own, I even<o:p></o:p>
forbade myself the use of every word or expression in the language<o:p></o:p>
that imported a fix'd opinion, such as 'certainly,' 'undoubtedly,' etc.,<o:p></o:p>
and I adopted, instead of them, 'I conceive,' 'I apprehend, ' or 'I<o:p></o:p>
imagine' a thing to be so or so, or 'it so appears to me at present.'<o:p></o:p>
When another asserted something that I thought an error, I deny'd<o:p></o:p>
myself the pleasure of contradicting him abruptly, and of showing<o:p></o:p>
immediately some absurdity in his proposition: and in answering I<o:p></o:p>
began by observing that in certain cases or circumstances his opinion<o:p></o:p>
would be right, but in the present case there appear'd or seem'd to<o:p></o:p>
me some difference, etc. I soon found the advantage of this change<o:p></o:p>
in my manner; the conversations I engag'd in went on more<o:p></o:p>
pleasantly. The modest way in which I propos'd my opinions procur'd<o:p></o:p>
them a readier reception and less contradiction; I had less<o:p></o:p>
mortification when I was found to be in the wrong, and I more easily<o:p></o:p>
prevaile'd with others to give up their mistakes and join with me<o:p></o:p>
when I happened to be in the right.<o:p></o:p>
"And this mode, which I at first put on with some violence to natural<o:p></o:p>
inclination, became at length so easy, and so habitual to me, that<o:p></o:p>
perhaps for these fifty years past no one has ever heard a<o:p></o:p>
dogmatical expression escape me. And to this habit (after my<o:p></o:p>
character of integrity) I think it principally owing that I had earned so<o:p></o:p>
much weight with my fellow citizens when I proposed new<o:p></o:p>
institutions, or alterations in the old, and so much influence in public<o:p></o:p>
councils when I became a member; for I was but a bad speaker,<o:p></o:p>
never eloquent, subject to much hesitation in my choice of words,<o:p></o:p>
hardly correct in language, and yet I generally carried my points."<o:p></o:p>
How do Ben Franklin's methods work in business? Let's take two<o:p></o:p>
examples.<o:p></o:p>
Katherine A, Allred of Kings Mountain, North Carolina, is an industrial<o:p></o:p>
engineering supervisor for a yarn-processing plant. She told one of<o:p></o:p>
our classes how she handled a sensitive problem before and after<o:p></o:p>
taking our training:<o:p></o:p>
"Part of my responsibility," she reported, "deals with setting up and<o:p></o:p>
maintaining incentive systems and standards for our operators so<o:p></o:p>
they can make more money by producing more yarn. The system we<o:p></o:p>
were using had worked fine when we had only two or three different<o:p></o:p>
types of yarn, but recently we had expanded our inventory and<o:p></o:p>
capabilities to enable us to run more than twelve different varieties.<o:p></o:p>
The present system was no longer adequate to pay the operators<o:p></o:p>
fairly for the work being performed and give them an incentive to<o:p></o:p>
increase production. I had worked up a new system which would<o:p></o:p>
enable us to pay the operator by the class of yam she was running at<o:p></o:p>
any one particular time. With my new system in hand, I entered the<o:p></o:p>
meeting determined to prove to the management that my system<o:p></o:p>
was the right approach. I told them in detail how they were wrong<o:p></o:p>
and showed where they were being unfair and how I had all the<o:p></o:p>
answers they needed. To say the least, I failed miserably! I had<o:p></o:p>
become so busy defending my position on the new system that I had<o:p></o:p>
left them no opening to graciously admit their problems on the old<o:p></o:p>one. The issue was dead.

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:56:24

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"After several sessions of this course, I realized all too well where I<o:p></o:p>
had made my mistakes. I called another meeting and this time I<o:p></o:p>
asked where they felt their problems were. We discussed each point,<o:p></o:p>
and I asked them their opinions on which was the best way to<o:p></o:p>
proceed. With a few low-keyed suggestions, at proper intervals, I let<o:p></o:p>
them develop my system themselves. At the end of the meeting<o:p></o:p>
when I actually presented my system, they enthusiastically accepted<o:p></o:p>
it.<o:p></o:p>
"I am convinced now that nothing good is accomplished and a lot of<o:p></o:p>
damage can be done if you tell a person straight out that he or she is<o:p></o:p>
wrong. You only succeed in stripping that person of self-dignity and<o:p></o:p>
making yourself an unwelcome part of any discussion."<o:p></o:p>
Let's take another example - and remember these cases I am citing<o:p></o:p>
are typical of the experiences of thousands of other people. R. V.<o:p></o:p>
Crowley was a salesman for a lumber company in New York. Crowley<o:p></o:p>
admitted that he had been telling hard-boiled lumber inspectors for<o:p></o:p>
years that they were wrong. And he had won the arguments too. But<o:p></o:p>
it hadn't done any good. "For these lumber inspectors," said Mr.<o:p></o:p>
Crowley, "are like baseball umpires. Once they make a decision, they<o:p></o:p>
never change it,"<o:p></o:p>
Mr. Crowley saw that his firm was losing thousands of dollars<o:p></o:p>
through the arguments he won. So while taking my course, he<o:p></o:p>
resolved to change tactics and abandon arguments. With what<o:p></o:p>
results? Here is the story as he told it to the fellow members of his<o:p></o:p>
class:<o:p></o:p>
"One morning the phone rang in my office. A hot and bothered<o:p></o:p>
person at the other end proceeded to inform me that a car of lumber<o:p></o:p>
we had shipped into his plant was entirely unsatisfactory. His firm<o:p></o:p>
had stopped unloading and requested that we make immediate<o:p></o:p>
arrangements to remove the stock from their yard. After about onefourth of the car had been unloaded, their lumber inspector reported<o:p></o:p>
that the lumber was running 55 percent below grade. Under the<o:p></o:p>
circumstances, they refused to accept it.<o:p></o:p>
"I immediately started for his plant and on the way turned over in<o:p></o:p>
my mind the best way to handle the situation. Ordinarily, under such<o:p></o:p>
circumstances, I should have quoted grading rules and tried, as a<o:p></o:p>
result of my own experience and knowledge as a lumber inspector,<o:p></o:p>
to convince the other inspector that the lumber was actually up to<o:p></o:p>
grade, and that he was misinterpreting the rules in his inspection.<o:p></o:p>
However, I thought I would apply the principles learned in this<o:p></o:p>
training.<o:p></o:p>
"When I arrived at the plant, I found the purchasing agent and the<o:p></o:p>
lumber inspector in a wicked humor, both set for an argument and a<o:p></o:p>
fight. We walked out to the car that was being unloaded, and I<o:p></o:p>
requested that they continue to unload so that I could see how<o:p></o:p>
things were going. I asked the inspector to go right ahead and lay<o:p></o:p>
out the rejects, as he had been doing, and to put the good pieces in<o:p></o:p>
another pile.<o:p></o:p>
"After watching him for a while it began to dawn on me that his<o:p></o:p>
inspection actually was much too strict and that he was<o:p></o:p>
misinterpreting the rules. This particular lumber was white pine, and<o:p></o:p>
I knew the inspector was<o:p></o:p>
thoroughly schooled in hard woods but not a competent,<o:p></o:p>
experienced inspector on white pine. White pine happened to be my<o:p></o:p>
own strong suit, but did I offer any objection to the way he was<o:p></o:p>
grading the lumber? None whatever. I kept on watching and<o:p></o:p>
gradually began to ask questions as to why certain pieces were not<o:p></o:p>
satisfactory. I didn't for one instant insinuate that the inspector was<o:p></o:p>
wrong. I emphasized that my only reason for asking was in order<o:p></o:p>
that we could give his firm exactly what they wanted in future<o:p></o:p>
shipments. wanted in future shipments.<o:p></o:p>
"By asking questions in a very friendly, cooperative spirit, and<o:p></o:p>
insisting continually that they were right in laying out boards not<o:p></o:p>
satisfactory to their purpose, I got him warmed up, and the strained<o:p></o:p>
relations between us began to thaw and melt away. An occasional<o:p></o:p>
carefully put remark on my part gave birth to the idea in his mind<o:p></o:p>
that possibly some of these rejected pieces were actually within the<o:p></o:p>
grade that they had bought, and that their requirements demanded<o:p></o:p>
a more expensive grade. I was very careful, however, not to let him<o:p></o:p>
think I was making an issue of this point.<o:p></o:p>
"Gradually his whole attitude changed. He finally admitted to me that<o:p></o:p>
he was not experienced on white pine and began to ask me<o:p></o:p>
questions about each piece as it came out of the car, I would explain<o:p></o:p>
why such a piece came within the grade specified, but kept on<o:p></o:p>
insisting that we did not want him to take it if it was unsuitable for<o:p></o:p>
their purpose. He finally got to the point where he felt guilty every<o:p></o:p>
time he put a piece in the rejected pile. And at last he saw that the<o:p></o:p>
mistake was on their part for not having specified as good a grade as<o:p></o:p>they needed.

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:56:41

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:57:01

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And I did obey - for a few times. But Rex didn't like the muzzle, and<o:p></o:p>
neither did I; so we decided to take a chance. Everything was lovely<o:p></o:p>
for a while, and then we struck a snag. Rex and I raced over the<o:p></o:p>
brow of a hill one afternoon and there, suddenly - to my dismay - I<o:p></o:p>
saw the majesty of the law, astride a bay horse. Rex was out in<o:p></o:p>
front, heading straight for the officer.<o:p></o:p>
I was in for it. I knew it. So I didn't wait until the policeman started<o:p></o:p>
talking. I beat him to it. I said: "Officer, you've caught me redhanded. I'm guilty. I have no alibis, no excuses. You warned me last<o:p></o:p>
week that if I brought the dog out here again without a muzzle you<o:p></o:p>
would fine me."<o:p></o:p>
"Well, now," the policeman responded in a soft tone. "I know it's a<o:p></o:p>
temptation to let a little dog like that have a run out here when<o:p></o:p>
nobody is around."<o:p></o:p>
"Sure it's a temptation," I replied, "but it is against the law."<o:p></o:p>
"Well, a little dog like that isn't going to harm anybody," the<o:p></o:p>
policeman remonstrated.<o:p></o:p>
"No, but he may kill squirrels," I said.<o:p></o:p>
"Well now, I think you are taking this a bit too seriously," he told me.<o:p></o:p>
"I'll tell you what you do. You just let him run over the hill there<o:p></o:p>
where I can't see him - and we'll forget all about it."<o:p></o:p>
That policeman, being human, wanted a feeling of importance; so<o:p></o:p>
when I began to condemn myself, the only way he could nourish his<o:p></o:p>
self-esteem was to take the magnanimous attitude of showing<o:p></o:p>
mercy.<o:p></o:p>
But suppose I had tried to defend myself - well, did you ever argue<o:p></o:p>
with a policeman?<o:p></o:p>
But instead of breaking lances with him, I admitted that he was<o:p></o:p>
absolutely right and I was absolutely wrong; I admitted it quickly,<o:p></o:p>
openly, and with enthusiasm. The affair terminated graciously in my<o:p></o:p>
taking his side and his taking my side. Lord Chesterfield himself<o:p></o:p>
could hardly have been more gracious than this mounted policeman,<o:p></o:p>
who, only a week previously, had threatened to have the law on me.<o:p></o:p>
If we know we are going to be rebuked anyhow, isn't it far better to<o:p></o:p>
beat the other person to it and do it ourselves? Isn't it much easier<o:p></o:p>
to listen to self-criticism than to bear condemnation from alien lips?<o:p></o:p>
Say about yourself all the derogatory things you know the other<o:p></o:p>
person is thinking or wants to say or intends to say - and say them<o:p></o:p>
before that person has a chance to say them. The chances are a<o:p></o:p>
hundred to one that a generous, forgiving attitude will be taken and<o:p></o:p>
your mistakes will be minimized just as the mounted policeman did<o:p></o:p>
with me and Rex.<o:p></o:p>
Ferdinand E. Warren, a commercial artist, used this technique to win<o:p></o:p>
the good will of a petulant, scolding buyer of art.<o:p></o:p>
"It is important, in making drawings for advertising and publishing<o:p></o:p>
purposes, to be precise and very exact," Mr. Warren said as he told<o:p></o:p>
the story.<o:p></o:p>
"Some art editors demand that their commissions be executed<o:p></o:p>
immediately; and in these cases, some slight error is liable to occur. I<o:p></o:p>
knew one art director in particular who was always delighted to find<o:p></o:p>
fault with some little thing. I have often left his office in disgust, not<o:p></o:p>
because of the criticism, but because of his method of attack.<o:p></o:p>
Recently I delivered a rush job to this editor, and he phoned me to<o:p></o:p>
call at his office immediately. He said something was wrong. When I<o:p></o:p>
arrived, I found just what I had anticipated - and dreaded. He was<o:p></o:p>
hostile, gloating over his chance to criticize. He demanded with heat<o:p></o:p>
why I had done so and so. My opportunity had come to apply the<o:p></o:p>
self-criticism I had been studying about. So I said: ''Mr. So-and-so, if<o:p></o:p>
what you say is true, I am at fault and there is absolutely no excuse<o:p></o:p>
for my blunder. I have been doing drawings for you long enough to<o:p></o:p>
know bet-ter. I'm ashamed of myself.'<o:p></o:p>
"Immediately he started to defend me. 'Yes, you're right, but after<o:p></o:p>
all, this isn't a serious mistake. It is only -'<o:p></o:p>
"I interrupted him. 'Any mistake,' I said, 'may be costly and they are<o:p></o:p>all irritating.'

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:57:13

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"He started to break in, but I wouldn't let him. I was having a grand<o:p></o:p>
time. For the first time in my life, I was criticizing myself - and I<o:p></o:p>
loved it.<o:p></o:p>
" 'I should have been more careful,' I continued. 'You give me a lot<o:p></o:p>
of work, and you deserve the best; so I'm going to do this drawing<o:p></o:p>
all over.'<o:p></o:p>
" 'No! No!' he protested. 'I wouldn't think of putting you to all that<o:p></o:p>
trouble.' He praised my work, assured me that he wanted only a<o:p></o:p>
minor change and that my slight error hadn't cost his firm any<o:p></o:p>
money; and, after all, it was a mere detail - not worth worrying<o:p></o:p>
about.<o:p></o:p>
"My eagerness to criticize myself took all the fight out of him. He<o:p></o:p>
ended up by taking me to lunch; and before we parted, he gave me<o:p></o:p>
a check and another commission"<o:p></o:p>
There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to<o:p></o:p>
admit one's errors. It not only clears the air of guilt and<o:p></o:p>
defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the<o:p></o:p>
error.<o:p></o:p>
Bruce Harvey of Albuquerque, New Mexico, had incorrectly<o:p></o:p>
authorized payment of full wages to an employee on sick leave.<o:p></o:p>
When he discovered his error, he brought it to the attention of the<o:p></o:p>
employee and explained that to correct the mistake he would have to<o:p></o:p>
reduce his next paycheck by the entire amount of the overpayment.<o:p></o:p>
The employee pleaded that as that would cause him a serious<o:p></o:p>
financial problem, could the money be repaid over a period of time?<o:p></o:p>
In order to do this, Harvey explained, he would have to obtain his<o:p></o:p>
supervisor's approval. "And this I knew," reported Harvey, "would<o:p></o:p>
result in a boss-type explosion, While trying to decide how to handle<o:p></o:p>
this situation better, I realized that the whole mess was my fault and<o:p></o:p>
I would have to admit I it to my boss.<o:p></o:p>
"I walked into his office, told him that I had made a mistake and<o:p></o:p>
then informed him of the complete facts. He replied in an explosive<o:p></o:p>
manner that it was the fault of the personnel department. I repeated<o:p></o:p>
that it was my fault. He exploded again about carelessness in the<o:p></o:p>
accounting department. Again I explained it was my fault. He blamed<o:p></o:p>
two other people in the office. But each time I reiterated it was my<o:p></o:p>
fault. Finally, he looked at me and said, 'Okay, it was your fault. Now<o:p></o:p>
straighten it out.' The error was corrected and nobody got into<o:p></o:p>
trouble. I felt great because I was able to handle a tense situation<o:p></o:p>
and had the courage not to seek alibis. My boss has had more<o:p></o:p>
respect for me ever since."<o:p></o:p>
Any fool can try to defend his or her mistakes - and most fools do -<o:p></o:p>
but it raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility<o:p></o:p>
and exultation to admit one's mistakes. For example, one of the most<o:p></o:p>
beautiful things that history records about Robert E. Lee is the way<o:p></o:p>
he blamed himself and only himself for the failure of Pickett's charge<o:p></o:p>
at Gettysburg.<o:p></o:p>
Pickett's charge was undoubtedly the most brilliant and picturesque<o:p></o:p>
attack that ever occurred in the Western world. General George E.<o:p></o:p>
Pickett himself was picturesque. He wore his hair so long that his<o:p></o:p>
auburn locks almost touched his shoulders; and, like Napoleon in his<o:p></o:p>
Italian campaigns, he wrote ardent love-letters almost daily while on<o:p></o:p>
the battlefield. His devoted troops cheered him that tragic July<o:p></o:p>
afternoon as he rode off jauntily toward the Union lines, his cap set<o:p></o:p>
at a rakish angle over his right ear. They cheered and they followed<o:p></o:p>
him, man touching man, rank pressing rank, with banners flying and<o:p></o:p>
bayonets gleaming in the sun. It was a gallant sight. Daring.<o:p></o:p>
Magnificent. A murmur of admiration ran through the Union lines as<o:p></o:p>they beheld it.

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:57:42

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:57:52

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p> </o:p>
Toward the end of the course the father again addressed his class. "I<o:p></o:p>
have pondered this problem," he said. "Dale Carnegie says, 'If you<o:p></o:p>
are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.' It is too late for me to<o:p></o:p>
admit it quickly, but I can admit it emphatically. I wronged my son.<o:p></o:p>
He was right in not wanting to see me and to expel me from his life.<o:p></o:p>
I may lose face by asking a younger person's forgiveness, but I was<o:p></o:p>
at fault and it is my responsibility to admit this." The class applauded<o:p></o:p>
and gave him their full support. At the next class he told how he<o:p></o:p>
went to his son's house, asked for and received forgiveness and was<o:p></o:p>
now embarked on a new relationship with his son, his daughter-inlaw and the grandchildren he had at last met.<o:p></o:p>
Elbert Hubbard was one of the most original authors who ever stirred<o:p></o:p>
up a nation, and his stinging sentences often aroused fierce<o:p></o:p>
resentment. But Hubbard with his rare skill for handling people<o:p></o:p>
frequently turned his enemies into friends.<o:p></o:p>
For example, when some irritated reader wrote in to say that he<o:p></o:p>
didn't agree with such and such an article and ended by calling<o:p></o:p>
Hubbard this and that, Elbert Hubbard would answer like this:<o:p></o:p>
Come to think it over, I don't entirely agree with it myself. Not<o:p></o:p>
everything I wrote yesterday appeals to me today. I am glad to learn<o:p></o:p>
what you think on the subject. The next time you are in the<o:p></o:p>
neighborhood you must visit us and we'll get this subject threshed<o:p></o:p>
out for all time. So here is a handclasp over the miles, and I am,<o:p></o:p>
Yours sincerely,<o:p></o:p>
What could you say to a man who treated you like that?<o:p></o:p>
When we are right, let's try to win people gently and tactfully to our<o:p></o:p>
way of thinking, and when we are wrong - and that will be<o:p></o:p>
surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves - let's admit our<o:p></o:p>
mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm. Not only will that technique<o:p></o:p>
produce astonishing results; but, believe it or not, it is a lot more<o:p></o:p>
fun, under the circumstances, than trying to defend oneself.<o:p></o:p>
Remember the old proverb: "By fighting you never get enough, but<o:p></o:p>
by yielding you get more than you expected."<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 3 - If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.<o:p></o:p>
~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p>
4 - A Drop Of Honey<o:p></o:p>
If your temper is aroused and you tell 'em a thing or two, you will<o:p></o:p>
have a fine time unloading your feelings. But what about the other<o:p></o:p>
person? Will he share your pleasure? Will your belligerent tones, your<o:p></o:p>
hostile attitude, make it easy for him to agree with you?<o:p></o:p>
"If you come at me with your fists doubled," said Woodrow Wilson,<o:p></o:p>
"I think I can promise you that mine will double as fast as yours; but<o:p></o:p>
if you come to me and say, 'Let us sit down and take counsel<o:p></o:p>
together, and, if we differ from each other, understand why it is that<o:p></o:p>
we differ, just what the points at issue are,' we will presently find<o:p></o:p>
that we are not so far apart after all, that the points on which we<o:p></o:p>
differ are few and the points on which we agree are many, and that<o:p></o:p>
if we only have the patience and the candor and the desire to get<o:p></o:p>
together, we will get together."<o:p></o:p>
Nobody appreciated the truth of Woodrow Wilson's statement more<o:p></o:p>
than John D. Rockefeller, Jr. Back in 1915, Rockefeller was the most<o:p></o:p>
fiercely despised man in Colorado, One of the bloodiest strikes in the<o:p></o:p>
history of American industry had been shocking the state for two<o:p></o:p>
terrible years. Irate, belligerent miners were demanding higher<o:p></o:p>
wages from the Colorado Fuel and Iron Company; Rockefeller<o:p></o:p>
controlled that company. Property had been destroyed, troops had<o:p></o:p>
been called out. Blood had been shed. Strikers had been shot, their<o:p></o:p>bodies riddled with bullets.

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