How To Win Friends And Influence People - 第13页 - 英语 English - 航空论坛_航空翻译_民航英语翻译_飞行翻译

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:09:23

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~~~~~~~<o:p></o:p>
6 - How To Spur People On To Success<o:p></o:p>
Pete Barlow was an old friend of mine. He had a dog-and-pony act<o:p></o:p>
and spent his life traveling with circuses and vaudeville shows. I<o:p></o:p>
loved to watch Pete train new dogs for his act. I noticed that the<o:p></o:p>
moment a dog showed the slightest improvement, Pete patted and<o:p></o:p>
praised him and gave him meat and made a great to-do about it.<o:p></o:p>
That's nothing new. Animal trainers have been using that same<o:p></o:p>
technique for centuries.<o:p></o:p>
Why, I wonder, don't we use the same common sense when trying<o:p></o:p>
to change people that we use when trying to change dogs? Why<o:p></o:p>
don't we use meat instead of a whip? Why don't we use praise<o:p></o:p>
instead of condemnation? Let us praise even the slightest<o:p></o:p>
improvement. That inspires the other person to keep on improving.<o:p></o:p>
In his book I Ain't Much, Baby-But I'm All I Got, the psychologist Jess<o:p></o:p>
Lair comments: "Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we<o:p></o:p>
cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only<o:p></o:p>
too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are<o:p></o:p>
somehow reluctant to give our fellow the warm sunshine of praise."<o:p></o:p>
(*)<o:p></o:p>
----<o:p></o:p>
[*] Jess Lair, I Ain't Much, Baby - But I'm All I Got (Greenwich,<o:p></o:p>
Conn.: Fawcett, 1976), p.248.<o:p></o:p>
----<o:p></o:p>
I can look back at my own life and see where a few words of praise<o:p></o:p>
have sharply changed my entire future. Can't you say the same thing<o:p></o:p>
about your life? History is replete with striking illustrations of the<o:p></o:p>
sheer witchery raise.<o:p></o:p>
For example, many years ago a boy of ten was working in a factory<o:p></o:p>
in Naples, He longed to be a singer, but his first teacher discouraged<o:p></o:p>
him. "You can't sing," he said. "You haven't any voice at all. It<o:p></o:p>
sounds like the wind in the shutters."<o:p></o:p>
But his mother, a poor peasant woman, put her arms about him and<o:p></o:p>
praised him and told him she knew he could sing, she could already<o:p></o:p>
see an improvement, and she went barefoot in order to save money<o:p></o:p>
to pay for his music lessons. That peasant mother's praise and<o:p></o:p>
encouragement changed that boy's life. His name was Enrico Caruso,<o:p></o:p>
and he became the greatest and most famous opera singer of his<o:p></o:p>
age.<o:p></o:p>
In the early nineteenth century, a young man in London aspired to<o:p></o:p>
be a writer. But everything seemed to be against him. He had never<o:p></o:p>
been able to attend school more than four years. His father had been<o:p></o:p>
flung in jail because he couldn't pay his debts, and this young man<o:p></o:p>
often knew the pangs of hunger. Finally, he got a job pasting labels<o:p></o:p>
on bottles of blacking in a rat-infested warehouse, and he slept at<o:p></o:p>
night in a dismal attic room with two other boys - guttersnipes from<o:p></o:p>
the slums of London. He had so little confidence in his ability to write<o:p></o:p>
that he sneaked out and mailed his first manuscript in the dead of<o:p></o:p>
night so nobody would laugh at him. Story after story was refused.<o:p></o:p>
Finally the great day came when one was accepted. True, he wasn't<o:p></o:p>
paid a shilling for it, but one editor had praised him. One editor had<o:p></o:p>
given him recognition. He was so thrilled that he wandered aimlessly<o:p></o:p>
around the streets with tears rolling down his cheeks.<o:p></o:p>
The praise, the recognition, that he received through getting one<o:p></o:p>
story in print, changed his whole life, for if it hadn't been for that<o:p></o:p>
encouragement, he might have spent his entire life working in ratinfested factories. You may have heard of that boy. His name was<o:p></o:p>
Charles Dickens.<o:p></o:p>
Another boy in London made his living as a clerk in a dry-goods<o:p></o:p>
store. He had to get up at five o'clock, sweep out the store, and<o:p></o:p>
slave for fourteen hours a day. It was sheer drudgery and he<o:p></o:p>
despised it. After two years, he could stand it no longer, so he got up<o:p></o:p>
one morning and, without waiting for breakfast, tramped fifteen<o:p></o:p>
miles to talk to his mother, who was working as a housekeeper.<o:p></o:p>
He was frantic. He pleaded with her. He wept. He swore he would<o:p></o:p>
kill himself if he had to remain in the shop any longer. Then he wrote<o:p></o:p>
a long, pathetic letter to his old schoolmaster, declaring that he was<o:p></o:p>
heartbroken, that he no longer wanted to live. His old schoolmaster<o:p></o:p>
gave him a little praise and assured him that he really was very<o:p></o:p>
intelligent and fitted for finer things and offered him a job as a<o:p></o:p>
teacher.<o:p></o:p>
That praise changed the future of that boy and made a lasting<o:p></o:p>
impression on the history of English literature. For that boy went on<o:p></o:p>
to write innumerable best-selling books and made over a million<o:p></o:p>
dollars with his pen. You've probably heard of him. His name: H. G.<o:p></o:p>
Wells.<o:p></o:p>
Use of praise instead of criticism is the basic concept of B.F.<o:p></o:p>
Skinner's teachings. This great contemporary psychologist has shown<o:p></o:p>
by experiments with animals and with humans that when criticism is<o:p></o:p>
minimized and praise emphasized, the good things people do will be<o:p></o:p>
reinforced and the poorer things will atrophy for lack of attention.<o:p></o:p>
John Ringelspaugh of Rocky Mount, North Carolina, used this in<o:p></o:p>
dealing with his children. It seemed that, as in so many families,<o:p></o:p>
mother and dad's chief form of communication with the children was<o:p></o:p>
yelling at them. And, as in so many cases, the children became a<o:p></o:p>
little worse rather than better after each such session - and so did<o:p></o:p>
the parents. There seemed to be no end in sight for this problem.<o:p></o:p>
Mr. Ringelspaugh determined to use some of the principles he was<o:p></o:p>
learning in our course to solve this situation. He reported: "We<o:p></o:p>
decided to try praise instead of harping on their faults. It wasn't easy<o:p></o:p>
when all we could see were the negative things they were doing; it<o:p></o:p>
was really tough to find things to praise. We managed to find<o:p></o:p>
something, and within the first day or two some of the really<o:p></o:p>
upsetting things they were doing quit happening. Then some of their<o:p></o:p>
other faults began to disappear. They began capitalizing on the<o:p></o:p>
praise we were giving them. They even began going out of their way<o:p></o:p>
to do things right. Neither of us could believe it. Of course, it didn't<o:p></o:p>
last forever, but the norm reached after things leveled off was so<o:p></o:p>
much better. It was no longer necessary to react the way we used<o:p></o:p>
to. The children were doing far more right things than wrong ones."<o:p></o:p>
All of this was a result of praising the slightest improvement in the<o:p></o:p>
children rather than condemning everything they did wrong.<o:p></o:p>
This works on the job too. Keith Roper of Woodland Hills, California,<o:p></o:p>
applied this principle to a situation in his company. Some material<o:p></o:p>
came to him in his print shop which was of exceptionally high<o:p></o:p>
quality. The printer who had done this job was a new employee who<o:p></o:p>
had been having difficulty adjusting to the job. His supervisor was<o:p></o:p>
upset about what he considered a negative attitude and was<o:p></o:p>seriously thinking of terminating his services.

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:10:02

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:10:36

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Did he do it? You can be sure he did. He once again became a fast<o:p></o:p>
and thorough mechanic. With that reputation Mr. Henke had given<o:p></o:p>
him to live up to, how could he do anything else but turn out work<o:p></o:p>
comparable to that which he had done in the past.<o:p></o:p>
"The average person," said Samuel Vauclain, then president of the<o:p></o:p>
Baldwin Locomotive Works, "can be led readily if you have his or her<o:p></o:p>
respect and if you show that you respect that person for some kind<o:p></o:p>
of ability."<o:p></o:p>
In short, if you want to improve a person in a certain spect, act as<o:p></o:p>
though that particular trait were already one of his or her<o:p></o:p>
outstanding characteristics. Shakespeare said "Assume a virtue, if<o:p></o:p>
you have it not." And it might be well to assume and state openly<o:p></o:p>
that other people have the virtue you want them to develop. Give<o:p></o:p>
them a fine reputation to live up to, and they will make prodigious<o:p></o:p>
efforts rather than see you disillusioned.<o:p></o:p>
Georgette Leblanc, in her book Souvenirs, My Life with Maeterlinck,<o:p></o:p>
describes the startling transformation of a humble Belgian Cinderella.<o:p></o:p>
"A servant girl from a neighboring hotel brought my meals," she<o:p></o:p>
wrote. "She was called 'Marie the Dish washer' because she had<o:p></o:p>
started her career as a scullery assistant. She was a kind of monster,<o:p></o:p>
cross-eyed, bandylegged, poor in flesh and spirit.<o:p></o:p>
"One day, while she was holding my plate of macaroni in her red<o:p></o:p>
hand, I said to her point-blank, 'Marie, you do not know what<o:p></o:p>
treasures are within you.'<o:p></o:p>
"Accustomed to holding back her emotion, Marie waited a few<o:p></o:p>
moments, not daring to risk the slightest gesture for fear of a<o:p></o:p>
castastrophe. Then she put the dish on the table, sighed and said<o:p></o:p>
ingenuously, 'Madame, I would never have believed it.' She did not<o:p></o:p>
doubt, she did not ask a question. She simply went back to the<o:p></o:p>
kitchen and repeated what I had said, and such is the force of faith<o:p></o:p>
that no one made fun of her. From that day on, she was even given<o:p></o:p>
a certain consideration. But the most curious change of all occurred<o:p></o:p>
in the humble Marie herself. Believing she was the tabernacle of<o:p></o:p>
unseen marvels, she began taking care of her face and body so<o:p></o:p>
carefully that her starved youth seemed to bloom and modestly hide<o:p></o:p>
her plainness.<o:p></o:p>
"Two months later, she announced her coming marriage with the<o:p></o:p>
nephew of the chef. 'I'm going to be a lady,' she said, and thanked<o:p></o:p>
me. A small phrase had changed her entire life."<o:p></o:p>
Georgette Leblanc had given "Marie the Dishwasher" a reputation to<o:p></o:p>
live up to - and that reputation had transformed her.<o:p></o:p>
Bill Parker, a sales representative for a food company in Daytona<o:p></o:p>
Beach, Florida, was very excited about the new line of products his<o:p></o:p>
company was introducing and was upset when the manager of a<o:p></o:p>
large independent food market turned down the opportunity to carry<o:p></o:p>
it in his store. Bill brooded all day over this rejection and decided to<o:p></o:p>
return to the store before he went home that evening and try again.<o:p></o:p>
"Jack," he said, "since I left this morning I realized I hadn't given you<o:p></o:p>
the entire picture of our new line, and I would appreciate some of<o:p></o:p>
your time to tell you about the points I omitted. I have respected the<o:p></o:p>
fact that you are always willing to listen and are big enough to<o:p></o:p>
change your mind when the facts warrant a change."<o:p></o:p>
Could Jack refuse to give him another hearing? Not with that<o:p></o:p>
reputation to live up to.<o:p></o:p>
One morning Dr. Martin Fitzhugh, a dentist in Dublin, Ireland, was<o:p></o:p>
shocked when one of his patients pointed out to him that the metal<o:p></o:p>
cup holder which she was using to rinse her mouth was not very<o:p></o:p>
clean. True, the patient drank from the paper cup, not the holder,<o:p></o:p>
but it certainly was not professional to use tarnished equipment.<o:p></o:p>
When the patient left, Dr. Fitzhugh retreated to his private office to<o:p></o:p>
write a note to Bridgit, the charwoman, who came twice a week to<o:p></o:p>
clean his office. He wrote:<o:p></o:p>
My dear Bridgit,<o:p></o:p>
I see you so seldom, I thought I'd take the time to thank you for the<o:p></o:p>
fine job of cleaning you've been doing. By the way, I thought I'd<o:p></o:p>
mention that since two hours, twice a week, is a very limited amount<o:p></o:p>
of time, please feel free to work an extra half hour from time to time<o:p></o:p>
if you feel you need to do those "once-in-a-while" things like<o:p></o:p>
polishing the cup holders and the like. I, of course, will pay you for<o:p></o:p>
the extra time.<o:p></o:p>
"The next day, when I walked into my office," Dr. Fitzhugh reported,<o:p></o:p>
"My desk had been polished to a mirror-like finish, as had my chair,<o:p></o:p>
which I nearly slid out of. When I went into the treatment room I<o:p></o:p>
found the shiniest, cleanest chrome-plated cup holder I had ever<o:p></o:p>
seen nestled in its receptacle. I had given my char-woman a fine<o:p></o:p>
reputation to live up to, and because of this small gesture she<o:p></o:p>
outperformed all her past efforts. How much additional time did she<o:p></o:p>spend on this? That's right-none at all ."

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:11:23

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:11:56

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"Why, Dale, it is no trick at all," Lowell replied. "There is nothing to<o:p></o:p>
bridge except memory and judgment. You've written articles on<o:p></o:p>
memory. Bridge will be a cinch for you. It's right up your alley."<o:p></o:p>
And presto, almost before I realized what I was doing, I found<o:p></o:p>
myself for the first time at a bridge table. All because I was told I<o:p></o:p>
had a natural flair for it and the game was made to seem easy.<o:p></o:p>
Speaking of bridge reminds me of Ely Culbertson, whose books on<o:p></o:p>
bridge have been translated into a dozen languages and have sold<o:p></o:p>
more than a million copies. Yet he told me he never would have<o:p></o:p>
made a profession out of the game if a certain young woman hadn't<o:p></o:p>
assured him he had a flair for it.<o:p></o:p>
When he came to America in 1922, he tried to get a job teaching in<o:p></o:p>
philosophy and sociology, but he couldn't. Then he tried selling coal,<o:p></o:p>
and he failed at that<o:p></o:p>
Then he tried selling coffee, and he failed at that, too.<o:p></o:p>
He had played some bridge, but it had never occurred to him in<o:p></o:p>
those days that someday he would teach it. He was not only a poor<o:p></o:p>
card player, but he was also very stubborn. He asked so many<o:p></o:p>
questions and held so many post-mortem examinations that no one<o:p></o:p>
wanted to play with him.<o:p></o:p>
Then he met a pretty bridge teacher, Josephine Dillon, fell in love<o:p></o:p>
and married her. She noticed how carefully he analyzed his cards<o:p></o:p>
and persuaded him that he was a potential genius at the card table.<o:p></o:p>
It was that encouragement and that alone, Culbertson told me, that<o:p></o:p>
caused him to make a profession of bridge.<o:p></o:p>
Clarence M. Jones, one of the instructors of our course in Cincinnati,<o:p></o:p>
Ohio, told how encouragement and making faults seem easy to<o:p></o:p>
correct completely changed the life of his son.<o:p></o:p>
"In 1970 my son David, who was then fifteen years old, came to live<o:p></o:p>
with me in Cincinnati. He had led a rough life. In 1958 his head was<o:p></o:p>
cut open in a car accident, leaving a very bad scar on his forehead.<o:p></o:p>
In 1960 his mother and I were divorced and he moved to Dallas,<o:p></o:p>
Texas, with his mother. Until he was fifteen he had spent most of his<o:p></o:p>
school years in special classes for slow learners in the Dallas school<o:p></o:p>
system. Possibly because of the scar, school administrators had<o:p></o:p>
decided he was brain-injured and could not function at a normal<o:p></o:p>
level. He was two years behind his age group, so he was only in the<o:p></o:p>
seventh grade. Yet he did not know his multiplication tables, added<o:p></o:p>
on his fingers and could barely read.<o:p></o:p>
"There was one positive point. He loved to work on radio and TV<o:p></o:p>
sets. He wanted to become a TV technician. I encouraged this and<o:p></o:p>
pointed out that he needed math to qualify for the training. I decided<o:p></o:p>
to help him become proficient in this subject. We obtained four sets<o:p></o:p>
of flash cards: multiplication, division, addition and subtraction. As<o:p></o:p>
we went through the cards, we put the correct answers in a discard<o:p></o:p>
stack. When David missed one, I gave him the correct answer and<o:p></o:p>
then put the card in the repeat stack until there were no cards left. I<o:p></o:p>
made a big deal out of each card he got right, particularly if he had<o:p></o:p>
missed it previously. Each night we would go through the repeat<o:p></o:p>
stack until there were no cards left.<o:p></o:p>
Each night we timed the exercise with a stop watch. I promised him<o:p></o:p>
that when he could get all the cards correct in eight minutes with no<o:p></o:p>
incorrect answers, we would quit doing it every night. This seemed<o:p></o:p>
an impossible goal to David. The first night it took 52 minutes, the<o:p></o:p>
second night, 48, then 45, 44, 41 then under 40 minutes. We<o:p></o:p>
celebrated each reduction. I'd call in my wife, and we would both<o:p></o:p>
hug him and we'd all dance a jig. At the end of the month he was<o:p></o:p>
doing all the cards perfectly in less than eight minutes. When he<o:p></o:p>
made a small improvement he would ask to do it again. He had<o:p></o:p>
made the fantastic discovery that learning was easy and fun.<o:p></o:p>
"Naturally his grades in algebra took a jump. It is amazing how much<o:p></o:p>
easier algebra is when you can multiply. He astonished himself by<o:p></o:p>
bringing home a B in math. That had never happened before. Other<o:p></o:p>
changes came with almost unbelievable rapidity. His reading<o:p></o:p>
improved rapidly, and he began to use his natural talents in drawing.<o:p></o:p>
Later in the school year his science teacher assigned him to develop<o:p></o:p>
an exhibit. He chose to develop a highly complex series of models to<o:p></o:p>
demonstrate the effect of levers. It required skill not only in drawing<o:p></o:p>
and model making but in applied mathematics. The exhibit took first<o:p></o:p>
prize in his school's science fair and was entered in the city<o:p></o:p>
competition and won third prize for the entire city of Cincinnati.<o:p></o:p>
"That did it. Here was a kid who had flunked two grades, who had<o:p></o:p>
been told he was 'brain-damaged,' who had been called<o:p></o:p>
'Frankenstein' by his classmates and told his brains must have leaked<o:p></o:p>
out of the cut on his head. Suddenly he discovered he could really<o:p></o:p>
learn and accomplish things. The result? From the last quarter of the<o:p></o:p>
eighth grade all the way through high school, he never failed to<o:p></o:p>
make the honor roll; in high school he was elected to the national<o:p></o:p>
honor society. Once he found learning was easy, his whole life<o:p></o:p>changed."

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:12:27

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:12:41

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In A Nutshell Be A Leader<o:p></o:p>
A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and<o:p></o:p>
behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 1 - Begin with praise and honest appreciation.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 2 - Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 3 - Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the<o:p></o:p>
other person.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 4 - Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 5 - Let the other person save face.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 6 - Praise the slightest improvement and praise every<o:p></o:p>
improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your<o:p></o:p>
praise."<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 7 - Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 8 - Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to<o:p></o:p>
correct.<o:p></o:p>
• Principle 9 - Make the other person happy about doing the thing<o:p></o:p>
you suggest.<o:p></o:p>
---------------------------<o:p></o:p>
Part 5 - Letters That Produced Miraculous Results<o:p></o:p>
I'll Bet I know what you are thinking now. You are probably saying to<o:p></o:p>
yourself something like this: " 'Letters that produced miraculous<o:p></o:p>
results!' Absurd! Smacks of patent-medicine advertising!"<o:p></o:p>
It you are thinking that, I don't blame you. I would probably have<o:p></o:p>
thought that myself if I had picked up a book like this fifteen years<o:p></o:p>
ago. Sceptical? Well, I like sceptical people. I spent the first twenty<o:p></o:p>
years of my life in Missouri—and I like people who have to be shown.<o:p></o:p>
Almost all the progress ever made in human thought has been made<o:p></o:p>
by the Doubting Thomases, the questioners, the challengers, the<o:p></o:p>
show-me crowd.<o:p></o:p>
Let's be honest. Is the title, "Letters That Produced Miraculous<o:p></o:p>
Results," accurate? No, to be frank with you, it isn't. The truth is, it is<o:p></o:p>
a deliberate understatement of fact. Some of the letters reproduced<o:p></o:p>
in this chapter harvested results that were rated twice as good as<o:p></o:p>
miracles. Rated by whom? By Ken R. Dyke, one of the best-known<o:p></o:p>
sales promotion men in America, formerly sales promotion manager<o:p></o:p>
for Johns-Manville, and now advertising manager for Colgate-<o:p></o:p>
Palmolive Peet Company and Chairman of the Board of the<o:p></o:p>
Association of National Advertisers.<o:p></o:p>
Mr Dykes says that letters he used to send out, asking for<o:p></o:p>
information from dealers, seldom brought more than a return of 5 to<o:p></o:p>
8 per cent. He said he would have regarded a 15 per cent response<o:p></o:p>
as most extraordinary, and told me that, if his replies had ever<o:p></o:p>
soared to 20 per cent, he would have regarded it as nothing short of<o:p></o:p>
a miracle.<o:p></o:p>
But one of Mr Dyke's letters, printed in this chapter, brought 42 1/2<o:p></o:p>
per cent; in other words, that letter was twice as good as a miracle.<o:p></o:p>
You can't laugh that off. And this letter wasn't a sport, a fluke, an<o:p></o:p>
accident. Similar results were obtained from scores of other letters.<o:p></o:p>
How did he do it? Here is the explanation in Ken Dyke's own words:<o:p></o:p>
"This astonishing increase in the effectiveness of letters occurred<o:p></o:p>
immediately after I attended Mr Carnegie's course in 'Effective<o:p></o:p>
Speaking and Human Relations.' I saw that the approach I had<o:p></o:p>
formerly used was all wrong. I tried to apply the principles taught in<o:p></o:p>
this book—and they resulted in an increase of from 500 to 800 per<o:p></o:p>
cent in the effectiveness of my letters asking for information."<o:p></o:p>
Here is the letter. It pleases the other man by asking him to do the<o:p></o:p>
writer a small favour—a favour that makes him feel important. My<o:p></o:p>
own comments on the letter appear in parentheses. Mr John Blank,<o:p></o:p>
Blankville, Indiana. Dear Mr Blank:<o:p></o:p>
I wonder if you would mind helping me out of a little difficulty?<o:p></o:p>
(Let's get the picture clear. Imagine a lumber dealer in Indiana<o:p></o:p>
receiving a letter from an executive of the Johns-Manville Company;<o:p></o:p>
and in the first line of the letter, this high-priced executive in New<o:p></o:p>
York asks the other fellow to help him out of a difficulty. I can<o:p></o:p>
imagine the dealer in Indiana saying to himself something like this:<o:p></o:p>
"Well, if this chap in New York is in trouble, he has certainly come to<o:p></o:p>
the right person. I always try to be generous and help people. Let's<o:p></o:p>
see what's wrong with him!")<o:p></o:p>
Last year, I succeeded in convincing our company that what our<o:p></o:p>
dealers needed most to help increase their re-roofing sales was a<o:p></o:p>
year 'round direct-mail campaign paid for entirely by Johns-Manville.<o:p></o:p>
(The dealer out in Indiana probably says, "Naturally, they ought to<o:p></o:p>
pay for it. They're hogging most of the profit as it is. They're making<o:p></o:p>
millions while I'm having hard scratchin' to pay the rent. ... Now<o:p></o:p>
what is this fellow in trouble about?")<o:p></o:p>
Recently I mailed a questionnaire to the 1,600 dealers who had used<o:p></o:p>
the plan and certainly was very much pleased with the hundreds of<o:p></o:p>
replies which showed that they appreciated this form of co-operation<o:p></o:p>
and found it most helpful.<o:p></o:p>
On the strength of this, we have just released our new direct-mail<o:p></o:p>
plan which I know you'll like still better.<o:p></o:p>
But this morning our president discussed with me my report of last<o:p></o:p>
year's plan and, as presidents will, asked me how much business I<o:p></o:p>
could trace to it. Naturally, I must come to you to help me answer<o:p></o:p>
him.<o:p></o:p>
(That's a good phrase: "I must come to you to help me answer him."<o:p></o:p>
The big shot in New York is telling the truth, and he is giving the<o:p></o:p>
Johns-Manville dealer in Indiana honest, sincere recognition. Note<o:p></o:p>
that Ken Dyke doesn't waste any time talking about how important<o:p></o:p>
his company is. Instead, he immediately shows the other fellow how<o:p></o:p>
much he has to lean on him. Ken Dyke admits that he can't even<o:p></o:p>
make a report to the president of Johns-Manville without the dealer's<o:p></o:p>
help. Naturally, the dealer out in Indiana, being human, likes that<o:p></o:p>
kind of talk.)<o:p></o:p>
What I'd like you to do is (1) to tell me, on the enclosed postcard,<o:p></o:p>
how many roofing and re-roofing jobs you feel last year's direct-mail<o:p></o:p>
plan helped you secure, and (2) give me, as nearly as you can, their<o:p></o:p>
total estimated value in dollars and cents (based on the total cost of<o:p></o:p>
the jobs applied).<o:p></o:p>
If you'll do this, I'll surely appreciate it and thank you for your<o:p></o:p>kindness in giving me this information.

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:12:54

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p> </o:p>
Sincerely, KEN R. DYKE, Sales Promotion Manager<o:p></o:p>
(Note how, in the last paragraph, he whispers "I" and shouts "You."<o:p></o:p>
Note how generous he is in his praise: "Surely appreciate," "thank<o:p></o:p>
you," "your kindness.")<o:p></o:p>
Simple letter, isn't it? But it produced "miracles" by asking the other<o:p></o:p>
person to do a small favour—the performing of which gave him a<o:p></o:p>
feeling of importance.<o:p></o:p>
That psychology will work, regardless of whether you are selling<o:p></o:p>
asbestos roofs or touring Europe in a Ford.<o:p></o:p>
To illustrate. Homer Croy and I once lost our way while motoring<o:p></o:p>
through the interior of France. Halting our old Model T, we asked a<o:p></o:p>
group of peasants how we could get to the next big town.<o:p></o:p>
The effect of the question was electrical. These peasants, wearing<o:p></o:p>
wooden shoes, regarded all Americans as rich. And automobiles were<o:p></o:p>
rare in those regions, extremely rare. Americans touring through<o:p></o:p>
France in a car! Surely we must be millionaires. Maybe cousins of<o:p></o:p>
Henry Ford. But they knew something we didn't know. We had more<o:p></o:p>
money than they had; but we had to come to them hat in hand to<o:p></o:p>
find out how to get to the next town. And that gave them a feeling<o:p></o:p>
of importance. They all started talking at once. One chap, thrilled at<o:p></o:p>
this rare opportunity, commanded the others to keep quiet. He<o:p></o:p>
wanted to enjoy all alone the thrill of directing us.<o:p></o:p>
Try this yourself. The next time you are in a strange city, stop<o:p></o:p>
someone who is below you in the economic and social scale and say:<o:p></o:p>
"I wonder if you would mind helping me out of a little difficulty.<o:p></o:p>
Won't you please tell me how to get to such and such a place?"<o:p></o:p>
Benjamin Franklin used this technique to turn a caustic enemy into a<o:p></o:p>
lifelong friend. Franklin, a young man at the time, had all his savings<o:p></o:p>
invested in a small printing business. He managed to get himself<o:p></o:p>
elected clerk of the General Assembly in Philadelphia. That position<o:p></o:p>
gave him the job of doing the official printing. There was good profit<o:p></o:p>
in this job, and Ben was eager to keep it. But a menace loomed<o:p></o:p>
ahead. One of the richest and ablest men in the Assembly disliked<o:p></o:p>
Franklin bitterly. He not only disliked Franklin, but he denounced him<o:p></o:p>
in a public talk.<o:p></o:p>
That was dangerous, very dangerous. So Franklin resolved to make<o:p></o:p>
the man like him. But how? That was a problem. By doing a favour<o:p></o:p>
for his enemy? No, that would have aroused his suspicions, maybe<o:p></o:p>
his contempt. Franklin was too wise, too adroit to be caught in such<o:p></o:p>
a trap. So he did the very opposite. He asked his enemy to do him a<o:p></o:p>
favour.<o:p></o:p>
Franklin didn't ask for a loan of ten dollars. No! No! Franklin asked a<o:p></o:p>
favour that pleased the other man—a favour that touched his vanity,<o:p></o:p>
a favour that gave him recognition, a favour that subtly expressed<o:p></o:p>
Franklin's admiration for his knowledge and achievements. Here is<o:p></o:p>
the balance of the story in Franklin's own words:<o:p></o:p>
Having heard that he had in his library a certain very scarce and<o:p></o:p>
curious book, I wrote a note to him, expressing my desire of<o:p></o:p>
perusing that book and requesting that he would do me the favour of<o:p></o:p>
lending it to me for a few days.<o:p></o:p>
He sent it immediately, and I returned it in about a week with<o:p></o:p>
another note expressing strongly my sense of the favour.<o:p></o:p>
When next we met in the House, he spoke to me (which he had<o:p></o:p>
never done before) and with great civility and he ever afterward<o:p></o:p>
manifested a readiness to serve me on all occasions, so that we<o:p></o:p>
became great friends and our friendship continued to his death.<o:p></o:p>
Ben Franklin has been dead now for a hundred and fifty years, but<o:p></o:p>
the psychology that he used, the psychology of asking the other man<o:p></o:p>
to do you a favour, goes marching right on.<o:p></o:p>
For example, it was used with remarkable success by one of my<o:p></o:p>
students, Albert B. Amsel. For years, Mr Amsel, a salesman of<o:p></o:p>
plumbing and heating materials, had been trying to get the trade of<o:p></o:p>
a certain plumber in Brooklyn. This plumber's business was<o:p></o:p>
exceptionally large and his credit unusually good. But Amsel was<o:p></o:p>
licked from the beginning. The plumber was one of those<o:p></o:p>
disconcerting individuals who pride themselves on being rough,<o:p></o:p>
tough, and nasty. Sitting behind his desk with a big cigar tilted in the<o:p></o:p>
corner of his mouth, he snarled at Amsel every time he opened the<o:p></o:p>
door, "Don't need a thing today! Don't waste my time and yours!<o:p></o:p>
Keep moving!"<o:p></o:p>
Then one day Mr Amsel tried a new technique, a technique that split<o:p></o:p>
the account wide open, made a friend, and brought many fine<o:p></o:p>
orders. Amsel's firm was negotiating for the purchase of a new<o:p></o:p>
branch store in Queens Village on Long Island. It was a<o:p></o:p>
neighbourhood the plumber knew well, and one where he did a great<o:p></o:p>
deal of business. So this time, when Mr Amsel called, he said: "Mr<o:p></o:p>
C——, I'm not here to sell you anything today. I've got to ask you to<o:p></o:p>
do me a favour, if you will. Can you spare me just a minute of your<o:p></o:p>
time?"<o:p></o:p>
"H'm—well," said the plumber, shifting his cigar. "What's on your<o:p></o:p>
mind? Shoot."<o:p></o:p>
"My firm is thinking of. opening up a branch store over in Queens<o:p></o:p>
Village," Mr Amsel said. "Now, you know that locality as well as<o:p></o:p>
anyone living. So I've come to you to ask what you think about it. Is<o:p></o:p>
it a wise move—or not?"<o:p></o:p>
Here was a new situation! For years this plumber had been getting<o:p></o:p>
his feeling of importance out of snarling at salesmen and ordering<o:p></o:p>
them to keep moving. But here was a salesman begging him for<o:p></o:p>
advice; yes, a salesman from a big concern wanting his opinion as to<o:p></o:p>
what they should do.<o:p></o:p>
"Sit down," he said, pulling forward a chair. And for the next hour,<o:p></o:p>
he expatiated on the peculiar advantages and virtues of the<o:p></o:p>
plumbing market in Queens Village. He not only approved the<o:p></o:p>
location of the store, but he focused his intellect on outlining a<o:p></o:p>
complete course of action for the purchase of the property, the<o:p></o:p>
stocking of supplies, and the opening of trade. He got a feeling of<o:p></o:p>
importance by telling a wholesale plumbing concern how to run its<o:p></o:p>
business. From there, he expanded into personal grounds. He<o:p></o:p>
became friendly, and told Mr Amsel of his intimate domestic<o:p></o:p>difficulties and household wars.

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:13:22

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 18:13:36

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