How To Win Friends And Influence People - 第4页 - 英语 English - 航空论坛_航空翻译_民航英语翻译_飞行翻译

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:40:48

The next time we are tempted to admonish somebody, /let's pull a<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
five-dollar bill out of our pocket, look at Lincoln's picture on the bill,<o:p></o:p>
and ask. "How would Lincoln handle this problem if he had it?"<o:p></o:p>
Mark Twain lost his temper occasionally and wrote letters that turned<o:p></o:p>
the Paper brown. For example, he once wrote to a man who had<o:p></o:p>
aroused his ire: "The thing for you is a burial permit. You have only<o:p></o:p>
to speak and I will see that you get it." On another occasion he<o:p></o:p>
wrote to an editor about a proofreader's attempts to "improve my<o:p></o:p>
spelling and punctuation." He ordered: "Set the matter according to<o:p></o:p>
my copy hereafter and see that the proofreader retains his<o:p></o:p>
suggestions in the mush of his decayed brain."<o:p></o:p>
The writing of these stinging letters made Mark Twain feel better.<o:p></o:p>
They allowed him to blow off steam, and the letters didn't do any<o:p></o:p>
real harm, because Mark's wife secretly lifted them out of the mail.<o:p></o:p>
They were never sent.<o:p></o:p>
Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and<o:p></o:p>
improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it, But why not begin<o:p></o:p>
on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more<o:p></o:p>
profitable than trying to improve others - yes, and a lot less<o:p></o:p>
dangerous. "Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof,"<o:p></o:p>
said Confucius, "when your own doorstep is unclean."<o:p></o:p>
When I was still young and trying hard to impress people, I wrote a<o:p></o:p>
foolish letter to Richard Harding Davis, an author who once loomed<o:p></o:p>
large on the literary horizon of America. I was preparing a magazine<o:p></o:p>
article about authors, and I asked Davis to tell me about his method<o:p></o:p>
of work. A few weeks earlier, I had received a letter from someone<o:p></o:p>
with this notation at the bottom: "Dictated but not read." I was quite<o:p></o:p>
impressed. I felt that the writer must be very big and busy and<o:p></o:p>
important. I wasn't the slightest bit busy, but I was eager to make<o:p></o:p>
an impression on Richard Harding Davis, so I ended my short note<o:p></o:p>
with the words: "Dictated but not read."<o:p></o:p>
He never troubled to answer the letter. He simply returned it to me<o:p></o:p>
with this scribbled across the bottom: "Your bad manners are<o:p></o:p>
exceeded only by your bad manners." True, I had blundered, and<o:p></o:p>
perhaps I deserved this rebuke. But, being human, I resented it. I<o:p></o:p>
resented it so sharply that when I read of the death of Richard<o:p></o:p>
Harding Davis ten years later, the one thought that still persisted in<o:p></o:p>
my mind - I am ashamed to admit - was the hurt he had given me.<o:p></o:p>
If you and I want to stir up a resentment tomorrow that may rankle<o:p></o:p>
across the decades and endure until death, just let us indulge in a<o:p></o:p>
little stinging criticism-no matter how certain we are that it is<o:p></o:p>
justified.<o:p></o:p>

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:41:05

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion,<o:p></o:p>
creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.<o:p></o:p>
Bitter criticism caused the sensitive Thomas Hardy, one of the finest<o:p></o:p>
novelists ever to enrich English literature, to give up forever the<o:p></o:p>
writing of fiction. Criticism drove Thomas Chatterton, the English<o:p></o:p>
poet, to suicide.<o:p></o:p>
Benjamin Franklin, tactless in his youth, became so diplomatic, so<o:p></o:p>
adroit at handling people, that he was made American Ambassador<o:p></o:p>
to France. The secret of his success? "I will speak ill of no man," he<o:p></o:p>
said, " . . and speak all the good I know of everybody."<o:p></o:p>
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do.<o:p></o:p>
But it takes character and self-control to be under-standing and<o:p></o:p>
forgiving.<o:p></o:p>
"A great man shows his greatness," said Carlyle, "by the way he<o:p></o:p>
treats little men."<o:p></o:p>
Bob Hoover, a famous test pilot and frequent per-former at air<o:p></o:p>
shows, was returning to his home in Los Angeles from an air show in<o:p></o:p>
San Diego. As described in the magazine Flight Operations, at three<o:p></o:p>
hundred feet in the air, both engines suddenly stopped. By deft<o:p></o:p>
maneuvering he managed to land the plane, but it was badly<o:p></o:p>
damaged although nobody was hurt.<o:p></o:p>
Hoover's first act after the emergency landing was to inspect the<o:p></o:p>
airplane's fuel. Just as he suspected, the World War II propeller<o:p></o:p>
plane he had been flying had been fueled with jet fuel rather than<o:p></o:p>
gasoline.<o:p></o:p>
Upon returning to the airport, he asked to see the mechanic who had<o:p></o:p>
serviced his airplane. The young man was sick with the agony of his<o:p></o:p>
mistake. Tears streamed down his face as Hoover approached. He<o:p></o:p>
had just caused the loss of a very expensive plane and could have<o:p></o:p>
caused the loss of three lives as well.<o:p></o:p>
You can imagine Hoover's anger. One could anticipate the tonguelashing that this proud and precise pilot would unleash for that<o:p></o:p>
carelessness. But Hoover didn't scold the mechanic; he didn't even<o:p></o:p>
criticize him. Instead, he put his big arm around the man's shoulder<o:p></o:p>
and said, "To show you I'm sure that you'll never do this again, I<o:p></o:p>
want you to service my F-51 tomorrow."<o:p></o:p>
Often parents are tempted to criticize their children. You would<o:p></o:p>
expect me to say "don't." But I will not, I am merely going to say,<o:p></o:p>
"Before you criticize them, read one of the classics of American<o:p></o:p>
journalism, 'Father Forgets.' " It originally appeared as an editorial in<o:p></o:p>
the People's Home Journnl. We are reprinting it here with the<o:p></o:p>
author's permission, as condensed in the Reader's Digest:<o:p></o:p>
"Father Forgets" is one of those little pieces which-dashed of in a<o:p></o:p>
moment of sincere feeling - strikes an echoing chord in so many<o:p></o:p>
readers as to become a perenial reprint favorite. Since its first<o:p></o:p>
appearance, "Father Forgets" has been reproduced, writes the<o:p></o:p>
author, W, Livingston Larned, "in hundreds of magazines and house<o:p></o:p>
organs, and in newspapers the country over. It has been reprinted<o:p></o:p>
almost as extensively in many foreign languages. I have given<o:p></o:p>
personal permission to thousands who wished to read it from school,<o:p></o:p>
church, and lecture platforms. It has been 'on the air' on countless<o:p></o:p>
occasions and programs. Oddly enough, college periodicals have<o:p></o:p>
used it, and high-school magazines. Sometimes a little piece seems<o:p></o:p>
mysteriously to 'click.' This one certainly did."<o:p></o:p>

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:41:23

FATHER FORGETS W. Livingston Larned<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw<o:p></o:p>
crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your<o:p></o:p>
damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few<o:p></o:p>
minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave<o:p></o:p>
of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.<o:p></o:p>
There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I<o:p></o:p>
scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your<o:p></o:p>
face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning<o:p></o:p>
your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things<o:p></o:p>
on the floor.<o:p></o:p>
At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down<o:p></o:p>
your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too<o:p></o:p>
thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for<o:p></o:p>
my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye,<o:p></o:p>
Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders<o:p></o:p>
back!"<o:p></o:p>
Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the<o:p></o:p>
road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were<o:p></o:p>
holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boyfriends by<o:p></o:p>
marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive -<o:p></o:p>
and if you had to<o:p></o:p>
buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a<o:p></o:p>
father!<o:p></o:p>
Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you<o:p></o:p>
came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I<o:p></o:p>
glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you<o:p></o:p>
hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped.<o:p></o:p>
You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and<o:p></o:p>
threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small<o:p></o:p>
arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your<o:p></o:p>
heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were<o:p></o:p>
gone, pattering up the stairs.<o:p></o:p>
Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my<o:p></o:p>
hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit<o:p></o:p>
been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding - this<o:p></o:p>
was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love<o:p></o:p>
you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you<o:p></o:p>
by the yardstick of my own years.<o:p></o:p>

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:41:44

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:41:59

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:42:17

The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals. To<o:p></o:p>
illustrate: When I was a farm boy out in Missouri, my father bred fine<o:p></o:p>
Duroc-Jersey hogs and . pedigreed white - faced cattle. We used to<o:p></o:p>
exhibit our hogs and white-faced cattle at the country fairs and livestock shows throughout the Middle West. We won first prizes by the<o:p></o:p>
score. My father pinned his blue ribbons on a sheet of white muslin,<o:p></o:p>
and when friends or visitors came to the house, he would get out the<o:p></o:p>
long sheet of muslin. He would hold one end and I would hold the<o:p></o:p>
other while he exhibited the blue ribbons.<o:p></o:p>
The hogs didn't care about the ribbons they had won. But Father did.<o:p></o:p>
These prizes gave him a feeling of importance.<o:p></o:p>
If our ancestors hadn't had this flaming urge for a feeling of<o:p></o:p>
importance, civilization would have been impossible. Without it, we<o:p></o:p>
should have been just about like animals.<o:p></o:p>
It was this desire for a feeling of importance that led an uneducated,<o:p></o:p>
poverty-stricken grocery clerk to study some law books he found in<o:p></o:p>
the bottom of a barrel of household plunder that he had bought for<o:p></o:p>
fifty cents. You have probably heard of this grocery clerk. His name<o:p></o:p>
was Lincoln.<o:p></o:p>
It was this desire for a feeling of importance that inspired Dickens to<o:p></o:p>
write his immortal novels. This desire inspired Sir Christoper Wren to<o:p></o:p>
design his symphonies in stone. This desire made Rockefeller amass<o:p></o:p>
millions that he never spent! And this same desire made the richest<o:p></o:p>
family in your town build a house far too large for its requirements.<o:p></o:p>
This desire makes you want to wear the latest styles, drive the latest<o:p></o:p>
cars, and talk about your brilliant children.<o:p></o:p>
It is this desire that lures many boys and girls into joining gangs and<o:p></o:p>
engaging in criminal activities. The average young criminal,<o:p></o:p>
according to E. P. Mulrooney, onetime police commissioner of New<o:p></o:p>
York, is filled with ego, and his first request after arrest is for those<o:p></o:p>
lurid newspapers that make him out a hero. The disagreeable<o:p></o:p>
prospect of serving time seems remote so long as he can gloat over<o:p></o:p>
his likeness sharing space with pictures of sports figures, movie and<o:p></o:p>
TV stars and politicians.<o:p></o:p>
If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I'll tell you<o:p></o:p>
what you are. That determines your character. That is the most<o:p></o:p>
significant thing about you. For example, John D. Rockefeller got his<o:p></o:p>
feeling of importance by giving money to erect a modern hospital in<o:p></o:p>
Peking, China, to care for millions of poor people whom he had never<o:p></o:p>
seen and never would see. Dillinger, on the other hand, got his<o:p></o:p>
feeling of importance by being a bandit, a bank robber and killer.<o:p></o:p>
When the FBI agents were hunting him, he dashed into a farmhouse<o:p></o:p>
up in Minnesota and said, "I'm Dillinger!" He was proud of the fact<o:p></o:p>
that he was Public Enemy Number One. "I'm not going to hurt you,<o:p></o:p>
but I'm Dillinger!" he said.<o:p></o:p>
Yes, the one significant difference between Dillinger and Rockefeller<o:p></o:p>
is how they got their feeling of importance.<o:p></o:p>

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:42:30

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:42:43

Some authorities declare that people may actually go insane in order<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
to find, in the dreamland of insanity, the feeling of importance that<o:p></o:p>
has been denied them in the harsh world of reality. There are more<o:p></o:p>
patients suffering from mental diseases in the United States than<o:p></o:p>
from all other diseases combined.<o:p></o:p>
What is the cause of insanity?<o:p></o:p>
Nobody can answer such a sweeping question, but we know that<o:p></o:p>
certain diseases, such as syphilis, break down and destroy the brain<o:p></o:p>
cells and result in insanity. In fact, about one-half of all mental<o:p></o:p>
diseases can be attributed to such physical causes as brain lesions,<o:p></o:p>
alcohol, toxins and injuries. But the other half - and this is the<o:p></o:p>
appalling part of the story - the other half of the people who go<o:p></o:p>
insane apparently have nothing organically wrong with their brain<o:p></o:p>
cells. In post-mortem examinations, when their brain tissues are<o:p></o:p>
studied under the highest-powered microscopes, these tissues are<o:p></o:p>
found to be apparently just as healthy as yours and mine.<o:p></o:p>
Why do these people go insane?<o:p></o:p>
I put that question to the head physician of one of our most<o:p></o:p>
important psychiatric hospitals. This doctor, who has received the<o:p></o:p>
highest honors and the most coveted awards for his knowledge of<o:p></o:p>
this subject, told me frankly that he didn't know why people went<o:p></o:p>
insane. Nobody knows for sure But he did say that many people who<o:p></o:p>
go insane find in insanity a feeling of importance that they were<o:p></o:p>
unable to achieve in the world of reality. Then he told me this story:<o:p></o:p>
"I have a patient right now whose marriage proved to be a tragedy.<o:p></o:p>
She wanted love, sexual gratification, children and social prestige,<o:p></o:p>
but life blasted all her hopes. Her husband didn't love her. He<o:p></o:p>
refused even to eat with her and forced her to serve his meals in his<o:p></o:p>
room upstairs. She had no children, no social standing. She went<o:p></o:p>
insane; and, in her imagination, she divorced her husband and<o:p></o:p>
resumed her maiden name. She now believes she has married into<o:p></o:p>
English aristocracy, and she insists on being called Lady Smith.<o:p></o:p>
"And as for children, she imagines now that she has had a new child<o:p></o:p>
every night. Each time I call on her she says: 'Doctor, I had a baby<o:p></o:p>
last night.' "<o:p></o:p>
Life once wrecked all her dream ships on the sharp rocks of reality;<o:p></o:p>
but in the sunny, fantasy isles of insanity, all her barkentines race<o:p></o:p>
into port with canvas billowing and winds singing through the masts.<o:p></o:p>
" Tragic? Oh, I don't know. Her physician said to me: If I could<o:p></o:p>
stretch out my hand and restore her sanity, I wouldn't do it. She's<o:p></o:p>
much happier as she is."<o:p></o:p>

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:43:02

If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracle you and I can<o:p></o:p>
achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity.<o:p></o:p>
One of the first people in American business to be paid a salary of<o:p></o:p>
over a million dollars a year (when there was no income tax and a<o:p></o:p>
person earning fifty dollars a week was considered well off) was<o:p></o:p>
Charles Schwab, He had been picked by Andrew Carnegie to become<o:p></o:p>
the first president of the newly formed United States Steel Company<o:p></o:p>
in 1921, when Schwab was only thirty-eight years old. (Schwab later<o:p></o:p>
left U.S. Steel to take over the then-troubled Bethlehem Steel<o:p></o:p>
Company, and he rebuilt it into one of the most profitable companies<o:p></o:p>
in America.)<o:p></o:p>
Why did Andrew Carnegie pay a million dollars a year, or more than<o:p></o:p>
three thousand dollars a day, to Charles Schwab? Why? Because<o:p></o:p>
Schwab was a genius? No. Because he knew more about the<o:p></o:p>
manufacture of steel than other people? Nonsense. Charles Schwab<o:p></o:p>
told me himself that he had many men working for him who knew<o:p></o:p>
more about the manufacture of steel than he did.<o:p></o:p>
Schwab says that he was paid this salary largely because of his<o:p></o:p>
ability to deal with people. I asked him how he did it. Here is his<o:p></o:p>
secret set down in his own words - words that ought to be cast in<o:p></o:p>
eternal bronze and hung in every home and school, every shop and<o:p></o:p>
office in the land - words that children ought to memorize instead of<o:p></o:p>
wasting their time memorizing the conjugation of Latin verbs or the<o:p></o:p>
amount of the annual rainfall in Brazil - words that will all but<o:p></o:p>
transform your life and mine if we will only live them:<o:p></o:p>
"I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people," said<o:p></o:p>
Schwab, "the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the<o:p></o:p>
best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.<o:p></o:p>
"There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as<o:p></o:p>
criticisms from superiors. I never criticize any-one. I believe in giving<o:p></o:p>
a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to<o:p></o:p>
find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish<o:p></o:p>
in my praise. "<o:p></o:p>
That is what Schwab did. But what do average people do? The exact<o:p></o:p>
opposite. If they don't like a thing, they bawl out their subordinates;<o:p></o:p>
if they do like it, they say nothing. As the old couplet says: "Once I<o:p></o:p>
did bad and that I heard ever/Twice I did good, but that I heard<o:p></o:p>
never."<o:p></o:p>

帅哥发表于 2009-1-1 17:43:15

"In my wide association in life, meeting with many and great people<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
in various parts of the world," Schwab declared, "I have yet to find<o:p></o:p>
the person, however great or exalted his station, who did not do<o:p></o:p>
better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval<o:p></o:p>
than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism."<o:p></o:p>
That he said, frankly, was one of the outstanding reasons for the<o:p></o:p>
phenomenal success of Andrew Carnegie. Carnegie praised his<o:p></o:p>
associates publicly as well as pr-vately.<o:p></o:p>
Carnegie wanted to praise his assistants even on his tombstone. He<o:p></o:p>
wrote an epitaph for himself which read: "Here lies one who knew<o:p></o:p>
how to get around him men who were cleverer than himself:"<o:p></o:p>
Sincere appreciation was one of the secrets of the first John D.<o:p></o:p>
Rockefeller's success in handling men. For example, when one of his<o:p></o:p>
partners, Edward T. Bedford, lost a million dollars for the firm by a<o:p></o:p>
bad buy in South America, John D. might have criticized; but he<o:p></o:p>
knew Bedford had done his best - and the incident was closed. So<o:p></o:p>
Rockefeller found something to praise; he congratulated Bedford<o:p></o:p>
because he had been able to save 60 percent of the money he had<o:p></o:p>
invested. "That's splendid," said Rockefeller. "We don't always do as<o:p></o:p>
well as that upstairs."<o:p></o:p>
I have among my clippings a story that I know never happened, but<o:p></o:p>
it illustrates a truth, so I'll repeat it:<o:p></o:p>
According to this silly story, a farm woman, at the end of a heavy<o:p></o:p>
day's work, set before her menfolks a heaping pile of hay. And when<o:p></o:p>
they indignantly demanded whether she had gone crazy, she replied:<o:p></o:p>
"Why, how did I know you'd notice? I've been cooking for you men<o:p></o:p>
for the last twenty years and in all that time I ain't heard no word to<o:p></o:p>
let me know you wasn't just eating hay."<o:p></o:p>
When a study was made a few years ago on runaway wives, what do<o:p></o:p>
you think was discovered to be the main reason wives ran away? It<o:p></o:p>
was "lack of appreciation." And I'd bet that a similar study made of<o:p></o:p>
runaway husbands would come out the same way. We often take our<o:p></o:p>
spouses so much for granted that we never let them know we<o:p></o:p>
appreciate them.<o:p></o:p>
A member of one of our classes told of a request made by his wife.<o:p></o:p>
She and a group of other women in her church were involved in a<o:p></o:p>
self-improvement program. She asked her husband to help her by<o:p></o:p>
listing six things he believed she could do to help her become a<o:p></o:p>
better wife. He reported to the class: "I was surprised by such a<o:p></o:p>
request. Frankly, it would have been easy for me to list six things I<o:p></o:p>
would like to change about her - my heavens, she could have listed a<o:p></o:p>
thousand things she would like to change about me - but I didn't. I<o:p></o:p>
said to her, 'Let me think about it and give you an answer in the<o:p></o:p>
morning.'<o:p></o:p>
"The next morning I got up very early and called the florist and had<o:p></o:p>
them send six red roses to my wife with a note saying: 'I can't think<o:p></o:p>
of six things I would like to change about you. I love you the way<o:p></o:p>
you are.'<o:p></o:p>
"When I arrived at home that evening, who do you think greeted me<o:p></o:p>
at the door: That's right. My wife! She was almost in tears. Needless<o:p></o:p>
to say, I was extremely glad I had not criticized her as she had<o:p></o:p>
requested.<o:p></o:p>

页: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

航空论坛_航空翻译_民航英语翻译_飞行翻译's Archiver